Journal Entry: Tues. May 24th 2022

Tuesday, May 24th 2022

Shelby and I get out of bed around 1:30 PM. She brews me a Crowded Barrel Coffee Co. EleaNOIR Barrel-Rested Coffee in my Z's Divine Espresso Mug.

I journal and post on Vocal.

I toast an English Muffin in our new, four-slotted toaster, and spread on some veganaise. I plop some spinach down on that thing; then I place a juicy tomato slice and then a Peppered Tofurkey slice. I slide on some vegan CHAO Tofu Cheese. Then I load it up with a fuckton of thousand island. And Voila. A Vegan sandwich so veganly.

I feast.

But I don't stop there. I eat a banana, a mandarin orange, and a handful of raw almonds. I watch Mythic Quest with Shelby.

Then I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

I wear my brown Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtley Awesome shirt.

I heat filtered, water to 170 Degrees Fahrenheit in my black, Fellow EKG Gooseneck Kettle and steep two teaspoons of Sencha Fancy Green Tea for three minutes in my Mike Wazowski mug. I purchased the tea at The Tea Table online. I highly recommend them.

Then I journal and sip my tea, while Shelby exercises, and then I submit to roles on Actor's Access.

I put in Big Bourbon Beard Balm and put on Bourbon Cologne Balm.

I have a smoothie, carrots, and raw almonds, and then I brush my teeth.

I do the dishes listening to Caroline Spence's, 'Somehow.'

After, I brew a Bones Coffee Co. Carrots Cake in my Powell's Bookstore mug.

We watch Mythic Quest.

Then I switch to a glencairn of Laphroaig 10 Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky.

I eat oatmeal with protein powder, cinnamon, agave, blueberries, and peanut butter.

Shelby takes a nap.

I sip more whisky and listen to folk music, finally settling on Caroline Spence's, 'Spades & Roses' and 'Two People,' with Robby Hecht.

I get on social media and see posts about the shooting in Texas at an Elementary school. I hate to think that I caused it, but my schizoaffective brain won't let up. Once upon a time, I was driving out of the Park and Ride lot at the University of Kansas Campus and someone honked at me. I got so angry that I pictured myself driving onto an elementary school playground and just mowing down kids with an AR-15. And then I had sort of a seisure.

The next day Sandy Hook happened. I was so upset. I looked back on my history. Whenever I get really angry something bad happens like 9/11.

Yesterday I got really angry at the state of our country and I got another flash in my head of mowing down people with an AR-15.

And then this Texas shooting happened.

I of course wouldn't hurt people in real life, but I can't help thinking my fantasies are causing this.

When I'm on meds my delusions and paranoia aren't as bad, but I still have a bit.

We need gun control now. One kid dying is too many.

I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

I watch more Mythic Quest with Shelby on Apple TV+. I finish my whisky and eat some Raspberry Sorbet. I was unsure of this series at first, but as soon as we got to episode 5 for a departure story called, A Dark Quiet Death, with Jake Johnson and Cristin Milioti, I was like holy shit this is really good. I enjoy the other episodes now too, but that one really hit me. I also really like Quarantine and Everlight. Just getting good overall. We are now on season 2.

We go to bed.

And that's it.

That's my day.

That's Tuesday, May 24th 2022