Josie's

Our little desert town was a quiet sea of dust. Nothing extraordinary happens; just people existing until they eventually evaporate in the heat. But the aesthetic of the surrounding landscape has drawn all kinds of people to it- from filmmakers and pretentious cliques of artists to those “adventurers” that have never lived in a desert and believe there is some mystical property to it. Maybe there is.

About two years ago, my life-long best friend, Tracy, and I stopped by Josie’s, the 24/7 diner, thirty minutes outside of town. It always looks pituresque, glowing all night like a lonely but loving beacon to weary travelers. Tracy chose a booth by the door just as a server, who we had not seen there before, approached us. It read “La Linda” on her name-tag. “Soo...drinks?” she said. No pleasantries. But it didn’t even phase us because her voice was a quick glimpse of a beautiful calm. “Water, please,” I said. “Hot tea,” Tracy said, looking past me. I know she only drank hot tea when she was anxious. I didn’t have to guess. I went straight to the question: “Did it happen again?” Silence. Tracy continued to stare past me, three booths down at a man. He was dressed in an expensive, perfectly tailored suit, sitting by himself. La Linda came back with my giant tumbler of ice water and a worn beige mug that whispered soft curls of steam. “And to eat?” her voice emanated like a soothing hug. “We haven’t decided yet, sorry,” I said, distracted with Tracy’s distance. La Linda nodded and walked away.

“Ben hit me again last night and…. this time” Tracy said looking at her bitten nails. “I’m going to leave him for real.” Nodding in empathetic agreement I offered, “Please come stay with me.” Again, she didn’t respond and instead kept staring past me, at the man behind us. “Why do you keep looking over at that man?” “I don’t know. There’s something strange about him,” she whispered, “and this new server..La Linda? Doesn’t that mean ‘The Lovely’ in Spanish?” “Yeah or ‘The Beautiful,’ which she is...but yeah, also weird. In a good way.” I glanced around. It was just us and the man. You could hear La Linda’s laughter from behind the kitchen window. Even her laugh was like a comforting song. “Yeah, it’s weird in here tonight.” Tracy was still silent. La Linda came out and brought the man a takeaway box. We both stared. A few tears rolled down his face as he thanked her for her help. La Linda just smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. I quickly turned back around and gave Tracy my “WTF?” stare. La Linda walked back to the kitchen and we saw the man walk out the door cradling the takeaway box, smiling. He didn’t walk to a car….he walked into the darkness. “Uhhh,” I looked at Tracy. “You think he’s drunk?” I asked just as La Linda came back, “Decisions? I know they’re difficult to make. We have fresh strawberry pie if you just want a sweet bite.” Both of us, soothed by her amalgamation of beauty, decided we’d just have the pie as we weren’t so hungry with Tracy’s bad news. We talked about that man later in the car. We weren’t sure if we should have checked on him or not, but ultimately concluded it was best we didn’t go searching for a stranger out in the pitch-black middle-of-nowhere.

A month had passed and Tracy was still in that abusive entanglement with Ben. She refused to come live with me because she thought I would be at risk of his violence too. Then a surprise knock at the door. Tracy. “Hey,” I gestured, “Come in..….you alright?” She turned off her phone and put it on the side table by the front door. “Yeah, I have good news. Let’s go for a walk.” “Okay,” I said, “let’s go but--” Tracy interrupted, “please leave your phone here too.” “Why?” I asked in confusion. “I want to make sure it’s just you and me.”

The sun had just set and it was cool enough to walk all the way to the playground where we first met as kids. We sat on the edges of the double-slides, still warm from the sun. “Remember the man who just walked out of Josie’s?” “Of course! I wonder where the hell he went...there’s nothing near Josie’s but desert for miles!” “Exactly,” Tracy said with a spark in her eyes. “So I saw a picture of him on my news feed. He was reported missing. So….. I managed to go back to Josie’s when Ben was passed out drunk. And guess what? Same thing happened! La Linda brought a takeaway box to a well-dressed person and they took it and just walked out too! I searched the news and this person was declared missing too!” “I--” Tracy interrupted, “I went back one more time to observe La Linda. She knew that I knew something! She also saw something in me, like she could tell I needed her...I think she knew from the first time we went there that night. So after Josie’s cleared and it was just us, she sat in the booth with me and told me what she does. Basically, she helps people disappear!” Immediately, I felt chills and asked “you’re saying..” “No. She doesn’t suicide-assist or anything like that. She gives them that takeaway box and there is something inside it that helps them start over somewhere else. And so….” she looked down at her bitten-off nails, “I’m going to get that box too.” “But where will you go?” “Right now, I can’t say. But you know I can’t live with Ben any longer.” She lifted up her shirt to show me two large, fresh bruises. “You know how I tried to move out but staying in the same town doesn’t work. I have no family. Nothing. I have to leave for good or I’m fucked.” My eyes filled up with tears so quickly, I couldn’t see anything. “Tracy, I want you to be free. You’re my only friend in this shit town and I don’t want to lose you.” She nodded, “And this is how you don’t lose me; you let me go where I can be safe. You know you’re my only love here too. But I have to go.” “Can we still keep in contact?” “Not at first. It will have to be at least a year. I can’t talk to anyone I know after I go to Josie’s this one last time. La Linda has planned everything out for me.” Trying not to cry all over her, I leaned my head on her shoulder and said, “If this is what you need to do to be safe, I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you to tell me you’re alive and okay.” She smiled a sympathetic smile and held my hand. “I need you to be strong and help me.” “Okay. How?” “I need you to drive me to Josie’s this Thursday night, when Ben leaves of town for his boys trip.” “Of course,” I replied, squeezing her hand.

That night arrived too fast and I found myself, sweaty palms on the steering wheel, driving the speed limit for once. At Josie’s there were a few loud tourists, but they eventually left until it was just Tracy and me. La Linda came and sat down across from us. “You’re a very good friend to Tracy,” she said, placing her soft hand over mine. “But now, I need you to say goodbye. This is goodbye for a while, not forever. Please be patient. Your friend needs this.” Her voice calmed down my internal screaming. My only friend. Would I get her back?? I wrapped my arms around her so tight, I squeezed all the breath out of her. “Sorry,” I said already drowning in tears. “I’ll send you a text when it’s safe,” she said catching her breath, “Please please please, no matter how hard you miss me, don’t tell anyone about this.” We hugged for what seemed like ten minutes. La Linda nodded to me, I reciprocated, and told Tracy, “I love you so fucking much.” “I love you so fucking much too,” she smiled through tears. I walked out, got in the car, and could see La Linda’s arm around Tracy’s shoulder; this gave me an unexpected, sudden peace. I stared through the window one last time at Tracy, flipped the headlights on, and drove slowly back home. Lots of deep breaths later, I was in my bed, not able to think about anything but Tracy and La Linda. How did it all work? My mind raced with every possibility to the point where I ended up dreaming about a teleportation device there at Josie’s, nestled back in the kitchen. There, La Linda stood, a beautiful other-worldly being, among greasy breakfast foods and pie. I felt a warmth flood my whole body and slowly woke up. Grabbing my phone, I saw no new messages or calls. It really happened, right? Tracy left?

That following year almost shattered me. I had to remind myself inwardly, over and over, that Tracy was okay. Of course, I had some anxiety-induced doubts. Was she really okay? Did La Linda actually help her? I put all my trust in her to help Tracy because Tracy did, and I always trusted Tracy. The search party, the missing person posters, answering the detective’s questions- it all felt more surreal than the idea of La Linda birthing people into secret new lives. Nonetheless, I kept my word to Tracy to say nothing about seeing her that last night at Josie’s. In all of the dust storm of gossip that followed, I was somewhat satisfied that everyone in our shit-town had suspicious eyes at Ben. “Yeah, he beat her. I saw bruises on her more than once,” I’d say any time they’d ask me about him and Tracy.

For a few months, I didn’t go to Josie’s because I was afraid of just sitting there and crying the whole time. But I finally had to go to see La Linda. I waited for the other patrons to clear and just sat there, ruminating on Tracy’s face the last time I saw her. There was clearly relief in it. Then La Linda, gorgeous as ever, came and sat across from me. She pulled a tiny envelope out of her apron pocket and handed it to me. Inside was a photo of Tracy, smiling unapologetically big, with her teeth showing, mid-laugh. I automatically cried tears of joy. She looked so healthy. She looked the happiest I had ever seen her. La Linda handed me a tissue. “Like I said, you’re a good friend. Come back any time for a slice of strawberry pie. It’s free just for you.” I stared at the picture and imagined I was there with her, laughing too, at some stupid shit we’d joke about. I went back to Josie’s a handful of times. It helped me get through the rest of the year, especially when Tracy was publicly declared dead. Now I know why La Linda has her name. The Beautiful. The Beautiful will guide you safely out of here.

Eventually, about a year and a half later after Tracy’s disappearance, I moved out of that town. There was no one there left for me. Why had I stayed there that long after? Maybe I needed to eat a few more pieces of pie at 2 AM, blessed by the neon sign of Josie’s, underneath the comforting glow of La Linda.

When I had eventually decided to move on with my life, I almost stopped believing Tracy would contact me ever again. Then my phone vibrated. The little text bubble popped up with an unknown number. “It’s me. I’m doing fucking great! Call me! I have so much to tell you!”