Jay and I Fall in Love Part II

In the time between deciding to cut them out of my life and turning eighteen, there were countless times that I thought I would see a glimpse of Jay somewhere and I would be devasted all over again. I even tried calling his old phone number to see if it was still his. When we would drive past where he lived when we last spoke, I would try to catch him in the yard or walking to his car. These were the glory days of Myspace and the very beginning of the Facebook world take over and I had not had the internet since Dad had died so I was clueless on where to look next. I saw his sister twice, but I was way too nervous to say anything to her.

Meanwhile, Jay and Ava had lost another child, and, in the heartbreak, Goose swooped in and drove a wedge. The heartache and bad feelings that come along with losing a child not once but twice was something that Jay and Ava as a couple were not able to recover from. Jay attempted to find me as well. He looked through the interwebs, but I didn’t have an online presence at the time. When his sister saw me the next time, she reported back that I was in a happy relationship with my ex still. Thinking he had missed his chance with the now adult me, Jay settled and married Goose.

I wasn’t. He had proved to be trash just like dear daddy warned. I had been sleeping around with a bunch of douchebags as my self-worth was at the rock bottom of the trench. One of those douchebags had just recently got out of jail and somehow befriended Goose’s son. Goose’s son was just a few years younger than me and he apparently thought that since douchebag was done with me/I kicked him out that he would try to go after me. So, from jail he writes a letter to me and asking if on his release date, which happened to be my nineteenth birthday, I could pick him up from jail and take him to his mom and Jay’s house. I almost imploded.

I made it to their apartment terrified. I drug my friend with me so he could pose as my boyfriend if needed. When I saw him all those feelings, I had spent the last three-ish years trying to bury came flooding through me. I tried to remind myself that they were married, and I was just lucky to have him back in my life and know that he is okay. Of course, at the time, I had no idea that they weren’t living happily ever after. They were struggling and me, my mother and my brother were trying to make the move across the river. We decided to all move in together. Yeah, I know my life’s weird. That’s why I’m writing about it silly.

During the moving processes Jay had to go to his aunt’s funeral. When he came back to the apartment after Goose tried to comfort him for the first time, as well as being the first time she acknowledged that his aunt had died. She didn’t really care, and she was trying to put on a show for us. He downed a shot of Southern Comfort and I noticed he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring anymore.

Later in the day, Jay and I are alone moving things into the new house. He asked if he could kiss me. That kiss is to this day still one of the very best kisses I have ever had. It was safe. It was comforting. It was full of need. It was full of genuine love. It was home. When the kiss ended and he pulled away, Jay said to me, “Did it give you the butterflies like it did me?” I was barely able to form words at that point, so I just nodded my head and then again, we were kissing.

I have been cheated on. I have once been the guilty cheat myself and even though I am not proud to admit it but during the break from Jay, I had no problem being “The Other Woman.” Something about that kiss or Jay made me want to do this the right way. Goose had to go.

To Be Continued…