Is Being A Lovergirl A Death Sentence?

Hey Sis,

Is it just me or does being a lovergirl nowadays feel like a death sentence? And i'm asking is it just me, because i feel like i'm in an episode where everyone wants love but no one knows how to received it or give it. Now i've been on a self-awareness journey for a few years. And it's really opened my eyes to the fact that, a lot of people aren't positioned to be loved. Now you may be thinking, what the hell do i mean by that. Allow me to explain.

Love is like a state of being, you think, you see, you speak, you act in love. That's why people say they are, in love. They are inside of it, of it, they are being in love. You have to also be in love to recieve it, and i don't mean being in love with someone. I mean occupying the space of love. We receive so many acts of love a day from people. But because we aren't occupying the space of love, we aren't being in the state of love, we miss it. A stranger in a rush, waiting that extra 6 seconds to hold the door open for you, someone offering you to go first, a baby saying hi to you. These are all examples of acts of love, we are just not in the proper space to receive it that way.

If we at the core do not love ourselves, we do not truly know love. The most powerful and highest degree of unconditional love, is love to oneself. Because we will falter, fumble, and make mistakes and it is up to us to love ourselves through it and in spite of it. What greater form of love, than to be able to fall to your knees and get up again and be loved every step of the way. That is being in love, allowing it to alter your mentality and open up your heartspace, shining light on the dark spaces you choose to hide. When we love ourselves, we position ourselves to receive love and we do not feel guilty or ashamed, rather deserving and aligned. How many people do you know that are familiar with love in this kind of way?

When you're a lovergirl, who's done her introspective work, evaluated her traumas, amalgamated her demons, you know what type of unionship you're looking for. And all the self-work you've done, won't allow you to settle in just anything. So you want to love someone who's emotionally available, yes, but also who's emotional receptivity is high. Your state of being, whilst in love is vast, and you want that to be acknowledged, so it can be handled accordingly. Being a lovergirl, and loving someone who's not able to meet you where you're at, see your actions in love, think of you in love, is just going to stain your soul. And it feels like, as i look around i see more and more people regressing back into themselves and closing off.

People want instant gratification without doing any soul searching, they don't even know what they want people to gratify. It just feels like a bunch of wanting, and no nurturing. And because i step big, when i'm in love with someone, it's scary. To know the vast depths of your own soul, can feel like a blessing and a curse in this generation. To be so ready, vulnerable, accepting of self and around so many people trying to crawl out their own skin, is contrast i don't know if i'll ever get use too. I want to love and be loved, i want people to divulge so deep into themselves they can feel me. Until then, i put aside the lovergirl and silently keep hope for change.