Insecure People Try to Make Other People Insecure

Many insecure people cause other people to be insecure. How do they do this exactly? Insecure people can be very critical. Deep down inside, I think they feel the weight of their own insecurities, so they try to distract themselves by being critical of others. In a way, the spotlight is cast on others for just a little while, so that it eases the insecure person’s spinning anxieties.

Are insecure people commonly open about their insecurities? No, not usually. That would require humility. With many forms of insecurities, comes pride. Pride doesn’t allow for people to be open and vulnerable. It’s unfortunate but true.

Insecurity sometimes comes from a lack of grounded identity. What is identity? I believe that identity is the framework and core of how you show your persona to the world, or those around you. In a way, your identity is your personal brand. What unspoken values are you conveying to those around you? You have likely heard the old quote, “Actions speak louder than words.” What actions are we making on a regular basis that communicate our personal value system, or our identity? Are we extending kindness and generosity to less fortunate individuals or the needy? If the answer is yes, we are showing consistent kindness and giving to those in need then, we are feeding the core value of generosity. A generous person has then developed part of their identity. Of course, this is one simple example.

One reflective practice, that you can do is to think of three words to describe yourself. Would your friends and family members use the same three words or would they use different words?

Insecure people fall into something I call identity-casting. Their criticism spews out when they say things like the following statements that many of us may have heard before.

“I’ve noticed you’ve gained some weight over the holidays…”

“You’re like Mondays—nobody likes you!”

“It’s a good thing you’re smart because you’re not the easiest to look at.”

You get the idea. I’m sure you have maybe heard much worse than these types of insults that are very hurtful. Insults serve no purpose at all. What good does it do for someone if they tear someone down verbally? It is the epitome of selfishness because the mean words serve the verbal offender, for what, a moment of ego boosting? Of course it doesn’t hold any eternal value!

The negative and mean words cast the other person’s identity, if the receiving person is not firmly grounded. I believe that the receiver person must be strong in their current identity, otherwise they may feel far too shaken by the insults.

I feel the worst for children and teenagers who have few people who encourage them. The anxiety of life rises far too fast. The youth of today are divided. Their attention is being directed all over the place. A lot of young people accept the things that their peers or dumb adults have mistakenly told them. Before long, their identity has transpired in a faulty manner. It’s sad. It’s heartbreaking. Really, it is awful.

However, the Bible is important because it paves the framework for the qualities that lead to fulfillment and joy. Think about it.

Psalm 139:14 is a great identity grounding verse, which says, “I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.”

Please note the word fearfully in that verse is sometimes translated as beautifully in several different translations. See how much power just this one verse holds though? Young people need to be reminded that they’re beautiful, that they’re made for something special!

Insecure people make other people feel insecure, but secure people encourage and make other people feel secure in life. What are you going to choose today? Do you want to speak positively over those around you? I know that I, for sure, want to! I hope you want to do the same too.