Influencers Wanted

WANTED - SOCIAL INFLUENCERS FOR STREAMING PLATFORMS:

Must Be Confident, Charismatic, and Narcissistic

SUCCESSFUL APPLICANTS SHOULD:

1) Be absolutely certain that they are so stunningly perfect that all persons should desire to BE THEM.

2) Be prepared to subsume the lives of everyone with whom they interact within their own bubble of reality.

3) Be willing to ignore all rights to privacy of any and all members of their family, dating relationships or friends/acquaintances as well as those of random strangers with whom they come into contact - no matter how briefly.

4) Applicants must have the ability to face criticism, ridicule, and/or rejection both on and off line from those who do not agree with the above requirements while maintaining steadfast belief in their own innate superiority.

5) Be of the mind that their opinions, decisions, and lifestyle are a superior example and should INFLUENCE others to emulate them.

6) Believe that “Influencer” is an actual occupation.

APPLY ON SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS ANYWHERE

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The above satirical ad was written after another in a long run of frustrating experiences on FaceBook. It seems that everyone believes that their opinion is the end all, be all of the universe and any dissenting opinions are… well… just trash. I, personally, am tired of people going out of their way to bad mouth others comments, ideas, posts, photos, etc.

While the most obvious examples are in the areas of politics, religion, and child rearing, this is endemic everywhere. I’m not sure what happened to the basic right of people to have an opinion of their own. Also, what in the world ever happened to simple politeness? It makes me want to throw up my hands and scream.

As noted, the satirical ad was pointed at “Influencers.” The very title itself just ticks me off. People are, allegedly, individuals. When did it become politically correct for literally anyone with an over inflated sense of their own self worth to just start telling everyone how to look, dress, act… what to say… what not to say … what to eat … what not to eat… ad infinitum? While I realize there have always been a subset of alleged experts in the area of Self Actualization who are indeed paid to tour and lecture in these topics - but what in the universe makes every teeny bopper on the planet who has an over inflated sense of their own self worth think they should be paid to tell the rest of us how to live, dress, eat, and so forth?

And… Why in the world do sheeple flock to them? I don’t get it. Influencers have absolutely no respect for personal privacy; no respect for others opinions or ideas; and certainly no respect for authority. I have heard many hundreds of horror stories about people going on a date with an “Influencer” only to find their every word, gesture, or fork-full filmed, scrutinized, and posted on line for the entire world to see… Even without their permission. Along with commentaries about their hygiene and how they kiss. Cameras in every single room except - in most cases - the bathroom. It’s literally insane and violates every right to privacy known to mankind. All to get more followers, likes, clicks, and comments. All in order to attract advertisers who, ridiculously enough, are willing to pay these insane stalkers for the right to place ads on the influencers streaming sites.

WTF people? Why do you perpetuate this insanity? Get a life of your own and let the rest of us have a bit of say in our own. I realize I have no requirement to follow, like, or comment on these influencer’s sites. And, generally, I don’t. But… they seem to think that nobody has the right to gainsay their apparently God Given Right to invade the private moments of every family member, friend, acquaintance, or stranger with whom they have even the slightest contact.

So… Is “Influencer” an occupation? It seems so. Should it be? HELL NO. And get that phone out of my face.