I prayed for you for years

I forgot about all the nights where I prayed for you.

For years my younger self always prayed for my vision in life, my current situations and then without fail I would always pray for my spouse.

I knew you weren't in my life and the people I was dating were not you. I knew in my gut you were out there and the second I met you I would never let you go. Never would I think we were miles from each other for 8 years. We had driven right next to each other and never saw each other in the passing.

I prayed for your sorrows.

I prayed that you would just stay strong and I would be with you eventually to help fix anything that had happened.

I prayed that you be slow to anger, to have the biggest heart and know how to make me laugh uncontrollably.

I forgot about the nights where I sat in bed talking nonsense for hours about you before I even knew you.

I began to cry last night.

I finally remembered all the years I had prayed for you. The nights where I thought it would never happen and I was just silly for thinking that someone would love me that much.

But I did find you and you do love me that much.

Granted, I was terrified when we first met!

I didn't run to you with open arms like I always thought I would.

Our first date confirmed how much I loved you but I was still so scared and then you left for two months for boot camp with letters being your only form of communication. I knew as soon as I saw you next I would never let you go. I made that mistake after our first date, you never kissed me so I thought you didn't like me.

I was so confused and regretted not making you mine. Then it happened. My friends convinced me to tell you how I felt through one of my letters. You graduated boot camp and there I was with your family, that I never met before, waiting for you. I thought I was crazy. I WAS CRAZY! Few hours later you finally kissed me and I began to be scared all over again because my feelings were so strong. That night when we returned you to base you held my hand for the very first time.

There was no way I was going to leave you again and regret that I didn't do anything or say anything because I was too scared. I started typing on the notes on my phone because your family was in the car with us.

I typed "okay f*** it, let's do this"

Confused you responded, "do what lol"

I smiled and nervously wrote the words: To dating your silly rat head, and handed the phone back to you.

You squeezed my hand and smiled wide after you read it.

A year and a half later I married you.

Before our first date I always thought when you fall in love you get smacked down into this dark hole and it just consumes you, forever falling. But after meeting you I realized it wasn't like that at all.

It really is the:

That giddy sensation when you're on a rollercoaster.

That split second when the plane lifts off the run away.

It's the rapid beating of your heart when they first touch you.

It's the feeling when you're holding your breath and they tickle you; you know when you gasp and then push all the air out of your lungs, you laugh and beg for air as they go at your sides mercilessly.

It's the feeling when your stomach is in your heart, it's the closest thing that you'll feel to floating.

That is what loving someone is like.

I forgot about all the years I had prayed for you. I can't believe I had forgotten.

I'm so glad that I have gotten the opportunity to love someone so fully like I have gotten to love you.