I Made Friends With a Random Stranger Yesterday. Here’s What I Learned

This has been quite an eventful week. I’ve been at my job, working as an ophthalmic photographer, for just over a year now, and ever since I got called back in from quarantine, I’ve been absolutely hating not working for myself as a full time entrepreneur.

So I gave my one week notice, and I quit. To make more money in the meantime, I’ve been working with DoorDash, and it’s been extremely fun!

Stupid decision or not, this article isn’t about that. It’s about something that happened on my second day DoorDashing.

I’m a fast learner, and for something as simple as DoorDash, I got the hang of it fairly quickly. The second day, I covered an area I knew fairly well at this outdoor mall, from doing it the day before. I was getting a lot of orders from Bertucci’s, other surrounding restaurants, and the majority were from Chipotle.

I loved the way this Chipotle was handling things during the Pandemic. It was online only, they had lines at two separate entrances for picking up your order, and everyone stayed outside while you talked to an employee at the door. Today at the pickup area, there was a different Chipotle girl. She was short, wore glasses, and had short curly green hair. She also had this really nice low raspy voice, but still high, if that makes sense. I told her my order, and she said, “it’s going to be a couple of minutes. I love your shirt by the way.”

I was wearing a white Vans Warped Tour 2018 shirt, it’s definitely one of my favorite summer t-shirts. I said, “aww thank you!”

She asked me if I liked to rave or go into mosh pits. I laughed because, although I like loud music, I don’t enjoy pushing random, sweaty concert people in a circle, or whatever you do in mosh pits.

I told her I needed to take this order, but that I’m sure I’ll be back. She was extremely cute and was really easy to talk to. It’s hard for me to make friends not online, especially the part about exchanging contact information. Even talking to a random person like this was a new, rare occurrence for me, and I didn’t want to regret anything about it.

After delivering my order, and coming back to the mall, it was a little quiet and I wasn’t getting an order for a few minutes. I decided that now was as good a time as any to walk up to her and ask for her social media. I feel like this is a little bit easier than asking for her number, which is a bit more personal. So, I opened up my Instagram profile to prepare, as to not stumble through my phone when I walk up to her, got out of my car, and walked toward Chipotle.

Keep in mind, I never do this, and the fact that my body took control over my brain for this was quite the miracle. I walked up to her, when there were no customers, and said, “hey so I don’t have an order this time, but you seem cool, would you want to follow me on Instagram or something to keep in touch?”

Que rapid heartbeats.

“Of course!”, she said. “I can’t have my phone on me, but let me type it in for you.”

She typed her private Instagram into my phone and hit follow. “Oh yeah, I didn’t get your name.”

“Oh right”, I said. “I’m Justin.”

“My name’s Paige, but I like being called Lilith, my middle name.”

YES, a conversation starter.

“My snake’s name is Lilith!”, I exclaimed.

“Oh my god, are you serious? That’s awesome!”

I proceeded to show her a picture of my snake, and she said she’s really cute. There was a line forming behind us of customers she should probably be talking to instead of me, so I let her go while I took a Bertucci’s order that just flashed on my phone. It was so exciting to finally meet someone my age who wanted to talk to me and was genuinely nice.

We talked for a little bit after I got home, and it was really nice making a new friend.

For some of you, this might be an everyday occurrence at an outdoor mall, but for someone with social anxiety all throughout high school, and even still through my 20’s, this is a personal achievement to be celebrated.

For those of you who are like me, and still think you would never be able to do this, let me give you a few tips that helped me.

1) Remember: They Are Also a Person

I know, crazy, right? But seriously, I get it. It’s anxiety-inducing talking to these kinds of people that we don’t know, who are cute and seem like our type of friend. There’s also that fear of rejection and having it be awkward. Or if there were other customers in line, or other people around them, the fear of them saying yes, only to not look like a jerk in front of other people! Then they only said yes to not look mean, and they actually don’t want to be your friend.

But remember that they’re just like you. Especially if they strike up a conversation first, it takes away some of those, “maybe they don’t want to be bothered” thoughts.

Also, just as a quick tip, I’d say do not bother a hard-working Chipotle girl if they’re busy and there is a line forming behind you. They’re in a high-stress situation, and them saying “no” to exchanging information, could make you take it personally, and that’s not good for anyone.

They probably want to make friends spontaneously just like you want to! If they seem friendly, and you’d like to talk to them at a later date, just do it.

2) Exchange Social Media Profiles Instead Of Phone Numbers

I think the reason we all still think of “can I have your number?”, as what we should say, is because that’s what we’ve always grown up seeing on movies, tv shows, and even TikTok now. It’s a personal thing, and if they give that out to you, then they must really like you.

Exchanging phone numbers has also been portrayed as a way of asking someone out on a date. Now, I don’t think it should be translated as asking them out on a date, but that’s how a lot of people take it, and it makes them nervous.

Exchanging social media profiles is a lot simpler, for multiple reasons:

a) When writing down a phone number, one single incorrect digit causes them to not be able to contact you at all, and you wouldn’t know if it was an accident, purposeful, or if you just thought that 4 looked like a 9.

Usernames on social media are usually a lot more specific and are mostly words that you can say and it’s more difficult to get it wrong. There are also simple ways like using the Snapchat QR code and you’ll never get it incorrect!

b) It’s less awkward asking for their social media since it won’t be misconstrued as you asking them on a date.

c) You get to see a lot of their personality as soon as you follow them! Especially with Instagram, you can see a lot of their previous posts on how they caption things, what they post, outfits they wear outside of work, and you get to learn a lot about them without even asking them directly! I saw a video of the Chipotle girl punching a stock of corn and I knew I made the right decision asking for her info.

3) Let Your Body Take Control Over Your Socially Anxious Mind

This may sound confusing, but hear me out. Lately, to get over the fear of cold calling as a Realtor, I stop thinking too much about what I’m going to say, I let my fingers dial the numbers, and hit the green “call” button before my head can say, “NO!”

I basically did the same thing here. Even though I was anxious, and knew it might seem a little bit weird asking for an employee’s personal social media cause I thought they seemed friendly, I told my brain to shut up and use my legs to walk over to Chipotle even while my head was telling me, “don’t make me do this”.

The thing is, as soon as you say something, it’s over. Now all you have to do is wait for the other person’s response, and talk again like a normal person. They may end up rejecting you, and it will feel awful, but you can’t let that discourage you from trying again with another person in the future.

The other thing that could happen, is they say, “yes”, and now you have a new friend! You can feel so proud of yourself afterward, and build a lifelong friendship from there.

Talking to people your age can be scary and make you anxious, but don’t let that stop you. Go out there and make some awesome friends!