I love You to the Moon and Back

Under the bright, silvery full moon, she sat and gazed into the deep endless darkened sky, filled with countless glittering stars. This is where she usually found her solace, but nothing made her feel whole. Sitting there cold and alone curled up into a ball, focusing on the throbbing pain deep within. Tears poured out of her ocean blue eyes, down her rosy cheeks, and onto his favorite flannel shirt that she had wrapped tightly around her. Feeling lifeless, her mind ran a mile a minute. She was overwhelmed with thoughts. “What am I going to do? How am I ever going to carry on? How could he do this to me? I can't do this alone!”

Feona, the girl whom all the boys in town admired, but her heart belonged to only one. Ethan Thomas, was the captain of the football team and the apple of her eye. He cherished Feona. She was his queen. He made sure that everyone in town knew that she was his one and only. They married right after high school. It was beautiful small-town wedding that took place on the local football field. The whole town attended. Their vows brought tears to everyone’s eyes. There was no doubt the love they shared was true and one of a kind. They shared a love that most people go their entire lives dreaming of.

After they tied the knot, Ethan started his own construction company. His business took right off as they built their own home, and started their family. Feona and Ethan had two beautiful children. Ethan’s heart melted when he discovered both his daughters inherited their mother’s beauty. He was a very proud man. He worked hard to take care of his family so Feona could stay home to take care of their legacy. Living a real-life fairytale, together had it all.

In 2019, Ethan was given a contract of a lifetime! Unfortunately, this contract meant long days, late nights, and a lot of traveling as it was just over 2 hours out of town. Feona and Ethan decided it was contract that couldn’t be declined, and although it would be hard, it wouldn’t last forever. This job was going to change their lives! So, Ethan accepted the opportunity, and started the job right away. Little did they know, this job would change their lives forever, but not the way they hoped.

One Friday night, the wind was howling, the fog was tangibly thick, and the clouds above poured a heavy blinding rain but Ethan was not going to let this stop him from getting home to his family. He was looking forward to spending the weekend with his favorite three girls. He could already feel the warm greeting as he walked through the front door of the home, he built with his own two hands. He could already smell the aroma of the delicious beef stew Feona was home preparing as the children set the table anxiously awaiting his arrival after days without him. Ethan would leave before they would wake, and got home after they were fast asleep. Although, Ethan always made sure to give his kisses at the beginning and end of each day, the kids longed for their “Daddy Bear hugs” on Friday evenings.

Dinner was served and all on the table when they heard a knock on the door. The kids jumped up. “Mama, Mama! Daddy's here! Daddy's here!” Feona’s face lit up as she let out a little chuckle. “Silly Daddy! He must have forgotten his house keys again.” The three of them ran to the door with absolute excitement. They threw open the door to find Lucas Bean, the local police officer. Taking one look at her old friend, seeing the pain in his eyes, Feona started to panic. Dropping to her knees, she sobbed “N-n-no! No! No-o-o!” Just then she froze, everything went black, she lost all hearing and sight. Her heart felt as it died in that very moment.

Despite the horrific storm, Ethan was traveling in that night, Ethan came across an elderly couple struggling with a flat tire on I-95. Being the kind-hearted person he was, Ethan stopped to help. He made sure to see them off before he continued home but before he could, a tractor trailer truck swerved in the break down lane where Ethan sat. Ethan Thomas, age 28, was pronounced dead on the scene at 6:15pm on September 9th, 2019, only 20 minutes away from home.

When the call came into the local police department, Officer Bean knew he had to personally deliver this horrifying news. Being a small town where everyone knows everybody, Officer Bean phoned Feona's mother, Sherry Green, before heading over to the Thomas residence. He knew that Feona and the girls were going to need her love on this cold, dark night.

Despite her disbelief and the extreme gusting winds, Feona’s windowed mother rushed over to her Feona’s to hold her daughter in her moments of extreme distress. When she got there, she found Feona on her knees in hysterics. Her grandchildren were latched on to each one of Feona’s arms. Officer Bean stood there in the corner, soaking wet, with tears rolling down his cheeks. Despite his lack in words, it was clear he wanted to help but was at a loss as to what to do. Sherry swooped in instantly wrapped her arms around her grieving family, and held them tight.

After what felt like a lifetime of devastating explanations, an ocean of tears, and an intense level of exhaustion, Sherry was able to tuck each of them into their beds. Sherry graciously thanked Officer Bean for his call, and told him to go home for some rest. She assured Officer Bean she wasn't going anywhere.

Days turned into nights, nights turned into days, and Feona still hadn't said a word. She laid there in bed, with the curtains pulled shut, feeling the loss of her one true love. She felt as though her heart was ripped out of her chest, and she just couldn’t find the strength to move, let alone talk. She tried to picture what life would be like without Ethan. The more she thought about, the longer she laid there.

While Feona was down, Sherry took care of the kids, and the funeral arrangements. She was continuously checked on Feona, bringing her meals, seeing if she needed anything, and trying to share words of wisdom from her experiences. Sherry knew there was nothing she could say to take away her pain or convince her to get out of bed. She had to come out in her own time.

It was the night before the Ethan’s funeral, Feona finally started to come to terms with the fact that she had to get out of bed and face the cold, hard reality. Ethan was gone forever. She managed to pull her weakened, numbed body out of bed. It was late, and everyone else was fast asleep. So Feona grabbed Ethans favorite black and red checked flannel and wrapped in around her as she stepped into the back deck. This is where Ethan and Feona would enjoy their nights together under the moon and stars.

She sat down on the rattan wicker loveseat that Ethan had bought her as a house warming gift the year they built the house. In this moment, it dawned on her. What was she going to do? Ethan didn’t have life insurance. She has never worked a day in her life! She was a widowed-woman. A single mom. How are we going to survive?! She realized then she needed the strength. She needed the strength to carry through. She wiped her tears, looked up into the endless dark sky, and said “Ethan, help me. Please help me. Help me find the strength to live for our babies and continue to give them the lives they deserve.” Just then, out of nowhere a glistening shooting star flew through the sky as she felt a twinkling imprint on her heart. Feona knew in that moment that this was a message from Ethan. She realized just then she would never be fully alone. Although her heart still ached, she took comfort with knowing Ethan was watching down over her and their daughters.

The next morning, the girls were so excited when they woke up to find their mom in the kitchen making smoothies and strawberry pancakes. With a few running hugs, a lot of kisses, and a few tears Feona and her babies were reunited. Together is where their strength was. Together is how they would get through this unthinkable time. They shared a family breakfast as the start of the new normal before heading out to say their final goodbyes to the man of their lives.

The funeral was heart wrenching but uplifting. There was not a single soul in town who wasn’t there. The local church was full. Some of the townspeople watched the ceremony through a crowd at the front door. There were so many memories shared, so many laughs, and so many tears. Ethan had touched so many lives throughout the town. The power of love took over the church that afternoon and despite the deepened feeling of loneliness, Feona realized that she would never be anything close to alone. Their family had so many loved ones, and these loved ones were not going anywhere.

Empowered by love, Feona and the girls left the church and headed home. As they got home the sun was beaming down on a mysterious little black, leather-bound book sitting on the steps to their home. There was a pearl white feather sticking out of the pages along with a little white feather etched into the corner of the front cover. Curious as to what it was, the Feona picked it up and brought it inside. As they opened it, a thick envelope fell out onto the floor. It was sealed with wax that was imprinted by another feather. Growing even more curious, Feona flipped through the pages in the book. Just when she thought the book was empty, she found a note of the very last page. She read it out loud as the girls were dying of curiosity.

“Whenever you feel alone, or need my guidance, go to our favorite place under the Moon. I will always be with you. I made a promise to always take care of you, and nothing will ever stop me from doing just that. Never forget, I love you to the moon and back! xoxo Love always & forever, Ethan”

Overwhelmed with questions, Feona broke the wax seal on the envelope where she discovered it was incredible amount of money! It was filled with nothing but hundreds. It all added up to be $20,000! This will greatly help Feona and her daughters as they start their new journey but how was this even possible?! Could he have planned this before his death or sent this from great sky above? They had so many questions but there were no answers. All they knew was their hearts filled with an enormous amount of faith. They truly believed deep in their hearts that this treasure was heaven sent. Nothing in this world could have shown them they were more loved, then their heaven sent little black notebook. They knew in this very moment that although their lives would be much different, they were going to be alright and that Ethan would always be watching over them.

As life moved on, Feona spent each night under the moon feeling the comfort of being in Ethan's arms. She knew that their love wasn’t just a love of a lifetime. It was one that lasts many lifetimes. She looked forward to what this life had in store knowing deep down the next life spent reunited with her one true love. Until they met again, she knew Ethan’s love would continue to carry her.