I have found that there are three stages of marriage

1. You feel like you're losing your relationship.

I don't know when it started to feel like he didn't love himself. In order to win his favor, you burned a table of his favorite dishes, he can not say a word you hard; To get his attention, you get new clothes and a new haircut, and he acts like he doesn't see anything...

In short, he's no longer obsessed with being close to you, he's no longer deferent to you, he's always throwing tantrums at you, like he doesn't like you any more.

2. Deliberate avoidance and distancing.

When we go out together, he no longer hold your hand; You talk to him, he either love to ignore, or casually perfunctory; You are very active want to live with him husband and wife life, he is tired, sleepy put off you, while watching video, play video games into the wee hours... This state of getting along makes you feel very weak, think he is changed, you ask him again and again in the end still love you, also want to go on, he even positive reply you have no courage.

3. The cycle of making up and fighting.

Although many times after a quarrel, you also take the initiative to communicate, have the idea of reconciliation, but I don't know what happened, always can not get along for a few days, and then because of some trivial quarrels, and so on. He thinks you how so pretentious, unreasonable, you think he how so cold, so do not understand people. You've built up deep negative perceptions of each other, and you're not sure if the marriage should work.

Many couples have bad feelings and frequent conflicts. It's not really that they don't love each other enough. It's that they love each other very much, but they just can't express their love, or they always express it in the wrong way.

A lot of people in marriage have this kind of situation, with the partner for many years, but still do not know what the other person's emotional needs are, because do not know, let alone meet. So that he clearly wants a basket of pears, but you keep giving him apples, the result is that you feel that you have done a lot for him, but he does not appreciate.

A lot of people are unhappy in their marriages because they don't get along. For example, one partner has a strong personality and always demands obedience from his partner. Outsiders or you get along very harmonious, but in fact always obey the party, his heart is very depressed, for a long time will produce rebellious mood. Without the ability to remodel the relationship at this time, the disappointment and rebellion of the partner will become more serious, and eventually the affair will break out and even divorce will occur.

Many couples in good relationships do not mean that there are no conflicts between them, but when they encounter conflicts, they have a set of good coping mechanisms to avoid the escalation of conflicts. And some couples once there is a point of conflict, always with aggression to argue right and wrong, the end is often the conflict is not solved, but also intensified

Couples live, there are dissatisfaction, contradiction is inevitable, there is no need to express the ability of people, used to blame, criticism to express, the result is often to let the partner feel attacked, then the outbreak of quarrel, cold war; Those who have the ability to express their needs will express them in a positive way to guide their partners to meet their needs, and at the same time, they can shorten the relationship between husband and wife.

Is this the status of your marriage? You know what you can do to get this far? Most marriages follow this pattern from a rift to a complete breakdown and divorce, and by the second stage, it's time to take action.