I Found Out My Friend Was Keeping Secrets

Once I had a friend I thought I was helping.

She was the sweetest, most kind person you'll ever meet. She would adopt any stray animal that she saw. She would help a sick person in her neighborhood by cooking and cleaning their home.

She loved to buy gifts for everyone and showed her love for all people in her area. She was an incredible person.

That's one side of her.

There are always two sides. Every virtue has a positive side and a negative side.

If you are blessed with someone who is kind, compassionate, and loving, it may be that they can't keep their friends from running over them.

This observation was spot-on in the case of my friend.

One day, we went to her sister's house together. It was windy and we both wanted to escape the cold.

Nevertheless, neither of us were looking forward to the difficult task ahead.

My friend's sister started dropping her youngest child off at my friend’s house. It was initially only for weekends. It soon became available at any hour of day or night.

My friend was getting tired of the stress. It had to stop.

After much discussion, we came to a mutual conclusion. She had to tell her sister that she would only watch her nephew on Saturdays and that it was not okay to drop him off at any other times.

This realization led to new struggles

As she cried, I held her and told her about the difficult times she had with her ex husband.

She vented the pain and guilt she was feeling, even though she couldn't help it.

It took her a lot of reflection before she realized that hurting herself would not help her family.

We set up a meeting. She offered to look after her nephew for a weekend, and she was planning to go over to her sister's to pick him up. I offered to accompany her for emotional support.

As I had predicted, the sister was a royal fit.

She raged, "You don’t care about anyone except yourself!"

It went on and on. I was able to stop her from going on. We took her nephew with us and we left. The sister's shouts faded in the background.

My friend and I drove home in silence. She didn't speak much. This episode may have deeply affected her, I'm sure.

Her sister's accusations were so false and inflamatory, it was absurd. I asked her if it was okay to discuss it. She said she would rather spend time with her nephew.

I had no choice but to go home.

Even though the argument ended in an argument I was proud of my friend. She stood up for herself in the middle of chaos and spoke out.

After the stress of breaking the boundaries, I was certain that her relationship would improve with her sister.

I didn't know the exact opposite would occur.

It was a terrible shock to learn that the sister continued dropping her son off at my friend's house a few days later.

Since that day, I hadn't heard from my friend. I wanted to give her some space.

It was so heartbreaking to hear the other person's story! My friend was too embarrassed to talk to me, the other party. It was necessary to hear it from a third party.

Evidently, she called her sister later that day.

"I am sorry I said No. Don't get mad at me. I will do what you ask."

All of the hard work that we had done was lost.

I felt so betrayed and disappointed. I felt so disappointed and betrayed by this kind, amazing person who allowed 1) people to walk all around her and 2) lies to me constantly.

I had to distance myself emotionally from the person I considered my friend. I had to be honest with myself and take time to assess if this was a healthy relationship.

I waited for to appear.

I noticed a pattern.

She would find a friend who could help her stand for herself.

After the conversation, she would feel a lot of guilt and rejection.

She would find a reason to withdraw from her friend and then hide behind their backs to retract the statements she made.

She was unable to control her emotions.

It made me feel better. It helped a little. I wasn't as hurtful because I understood that their weakness was what made them do the things they did.

They weren't maliciously trying to be.

They couldn't help but indulge themselves.

What's next?

There was not much I could do. If I kept close friends, I would continue to be pulled into the same unhealthy cycle.

If I kept the friendship more as an acquaintance than myself, I would feel some pain but I could still keep my sanity.

I was more cautious about choosing close friends. Although I have many friends, my inner circle is very small.

This episode taught me a valuable lesson.

Do not judge people who are weaker than you. They might not be as weak as you think. You may not be aware that they could be fighting inner demons.