I Flew From LAX to Kansas to Reconnect with My “Perfect” Ex & It DID NOT Go Well

This story is about Ken who I met in early 2016. Back in 2016 we dated for maybe 4 or 5 months & when I first met him I would have previously described him as PERFECT, consistent, trustworthy, loyal, reliable, & again, PERFECT in pretty much every aspect of his personality. Ken was the type of guy to open car doors for me, & he was just a perfect gentleman all around. He didn’t drink or use drugs but back in 2016 I was dabbling in party drugs & heavy drinking when my daughter Samantha wasn’t around. But despite all of his perfectness in 2016 he never wanted to be intimate with me which I found SO FREAKING STRANGE. I found it so strange that he would always avoid all of my advancements because no guy had ever done that to me. I mean, what guy ignores months of advancements?

Eventually after about 4 or 5 months of consistent exclusive dating, it took a lot of convincing but he eventually agreed to be intimate with me. As we were about to finally do the deed, he disrobed & I saw it. . . his MICROPENIS.

I’ll be honest, I’ll admit that back then I was EXTREMELY shallow & immature & my first & ONLY reaction was to laugh uncontrollably at him & instantly break up with him right then & there & to never speak to him again for YEARS.

June 2020: While going through contacts on my phone & deleting contacts of people I no longer communicate with I came across his info. I started feeling remorseful I decided to reach out & apologize for my previous behavior. I sent a text to him & I explained how I wanted to make it up to him somehow. I wasn’t sure if he even had the same number but sure enough he replied. He seemed extremely understanding of my previous behavior & chopped it up to the fact that we were both just young & immature & he seemly just moved past it completely. We started texted back & forth & after some catching up for a few days we ended up planning this dinner date for Saturday July 18th, 2020. So after we’d planned out this entire dinner date to go out to Applebee’s & then to take a walk around a lake out of NOWHERE he tells me “Oh by the way, I live in Kansas now.” I’m like. . . “What the hell? How am I gonna get to Kansas to do this plan we just concocted?”

He went on to say he’d buy me a round trip plane ticket from LAX to Kansas City for that weekend, he’d get me a hotel to stay at, he’d even go as far as getting me an Uber from Orange County to LAX, & then another to get me back home once I flew back to California. He said he’d cover EVERYTHING.

At this point I was in SHOCK that this man who I was so mean to years ago was willing to do all of this just to see me. Regardless of my hesitation, I said yes with some stipulations. . . Before he booked anything I REPEATEDLY stressed the fact that I was NOT trying to rekindle a serious relationship with him & that I had ZERO interest at all in being intimate with him. He said “I completely agree & understand. That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” With him & I on the same page about zero expectations, I was onboard & gave him the go ahead to book everything. & sure enough he booked everything that same day. He even sent me travel money for food at the airport.

Friday July 17th, 2020: I arrive in Kansas City & I’m greeted with a HUGE hug from Ken. He was so exited to see me & so grateful I came. As Ken does, he opened the car door for me being the gentlemen he is. Once inside the car he presents me with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers & a super sweet handwritten card. On the drive to Topeka where he stop for dinner. Once on the road again, I start looking up attractions around us, ya know, things for us to do together.

First we stop at this little flea market on route & I find a necklace I really like & insists on buying it for me. Then before hitting the road again we go into a nearby convenient store to grab a few snacks & drinks & again, he insists on paying.

We get back in the car & we’re driving along & he puts his hand on my knee. This was my first red flag that his intentions may not be as innocent as promised but I just kinda shrugged it off. As we continue toward Topeka he starts asking me mild relationship-type questions. Again, mild red flags went off in my head but I still didn’t think too much of it.

So along the way to his apartment from the airport he ends up getting pulled over by the police for not moving over for a stopped emergency vehicle. While we were pulled over he was like “Shut up & don’t talk!” I’m shocked & confused & then say “Why can’t I talk if the cop is all the way in his car? He can’t even hear me.” Ken doesn’t say a word. Then while waiting for the cop to come back I went to eat my Cheez-It’s & he practically yells at me to put them down & tells me to put my hands on the dashboard. So in the end the officer gives him a ticket & I kid you not, the entire rest of the drive (which is like another 45 minutes) this dude is just complaining about cops & why they were picking on him and targeting him & BLAH BLAH BLAH. He just couldn’t focus on anything else. & a couple times I said something like “It’s not a big deal, just don’t let it ruin your day.” & he got all angry & defensive & basically told me to stop trying to tell him how to feel.

So we eventually arrive in Topeka & we go to his apartment & guess what, more flowers & another cute card with a handwritten note saying “I’ve missed you.” & things if that sort. At first we were just hanging out & after a while I ask when we were going stop at the hotel to drop off my bags & check in. He explains all the hotels in the area are closed due to COVID-19 & says I’m welcome to sleep in his bed & that he’ll take the couch. SPOILER ALERT: That was a lie.

I was a little set back but I accepted his new proposal, I mean, why would he lie. . . As we continue to hangout at his apartment watching TV he starts to sit really close to me & put his arm around me. At this point the previous red flags start to resurface & I get a feeling his intentions aren’t as innocent as he led me on to believe. But I try to just shrug it off. He asks me if I want a back rub, I explain I’m hesitate because of my broken spine & he proceeds to insist repeatedly. I eventually say yes.

As he’s giving me this back rub on the couch, he undies my bra. I ask him to reconnect it as it was making me uneasy. He insists it’s to give me a better massage so I just let it slide. From behind he then wraps his arms around my neck & shoulders & kisses the back of my deck. I stand up, reconnect my bra & thank him for the massage.

I then asked him if we could go get some pizza & go to a park so I could flow with my leviwand & teach him a few easy moves. He agrees, we go pick up pizza, go to the park & flow for a bit. While at the park he started asking me mild sexual related questions. I just try to avoid answering & changing the subjects but he keeps bringing them up. After avoiding his questions for several minutes I ask if we can go back to the apartment so I can sleep as I was legitimately getting tired. I’d only slept like 2 hours the night before & I just wanted to get some sleep.

We arrive back at the apartment & we’re just sitting on the couch together for a while. Out of nowhere he leans in & kisses me. Not like a little peck, like, tongue & all. Like, totally out of nowhere. I move away after several seconds & nervously laugh. He leans back in for more & I turn away & just repeat myself & say that I’m tired & want to go lay down. He asked if he can come lay in bed with me til I fall asleep. I was uneasy with that, but I reluctantly agreed. So we’re laying in bed together, he says as soon as I’m asleep he’ll move to the couch in the living room to sleep.

As we’re laying there he makes this comment. . . He says to me “You make me feel so relaxed & comfortable. I’m so glad you’re here with me. Do you feel the same way?” I’m at a loss for words so I just nod to agree with him & quickly roll over away from him onto my back. From there, I QUICKLY knock out as I’m literally running on just 2 hours of sleep from the previous night. I was out cold in just minutes after that.

Saturday July 18th, 2020: I wake up & he’s still in the bed next to me sleeping. I was legitimately SHOCKED. So I start to get up which wakes him up. The first thing he says is “I’m sorry if you felt that I tried to pressure you into sex last night, I just wasn’t sure what you wanted cause you kept going back & forth on what you are saying.” (Which again is untrue, I was very clear prior to my arrival & I thought my actions made it clear I was uneasy with his advancements, BUT I GUESS NOT). I quickly state I’m going to go take a shower & he asks “Can I shower with you?” I immediately respond “I don’t think that’s appropriate, I’m just gonna take a quick shower.” At this time he decides to go out & get some milk for breakfast. So I take a long shower while he’s gone. During my shower I start to realize the situation I’ve put myself in & begin to contemplate leaving.

When he returns he suggests we watch another movie. I’m thinking. . . I just wanna go out & explore Kansas & do stuff; I can watch Netflix anywhere. So instead of agreeing to stay in & watch a movie I get on my phone & start looking up local activities we can go out & do like kayaking, swimming at the local lake, different museums, shooting at a gun range, bowling, & a few other ideas. I start throwing out all these ideas to him & again he just suggests staying in & watching a movie. I eventually just cave in & agree. We pick a movie & immediately he starts snuggling up to me & putting his hands on my leg. After a few minutes I go out for a cigarette & start messaging my friends asking for advice & for help leaving this horribly awkward situation.

My friends end up helping me book a hotel nearby & help me come up with a few ideas on how to get this dude out of the house long enough for me to pack up my bags & leave to the hotel. After being outside alone for like 15-20 minutes plotting my escape plan, I go back inside. Again, he immediately cuddles up next to me & grabs my hand. This is where I send my friends a text saying “I HAVE TO ESCAPE!”

I initiated my plan of escape shortly after. I start to complain of a stomach ache & ask if he’s go get me Pepto-Bismol to ease my pretend stomach ache. He just says “We can go later, I’m enjoying snuggling with you.” At this point I’m getting kinda pissed & worried & frustrated. So a few more minutes go by & I go to the bathroom & come back out acting all embarrassed claiming my period started. I rush over to my bag & as obviously as I can, I grab a fresh pair of underwear & rush back to the bathroom & pretend to change my clothes. I come back out of the bathroom & claim I want to take another shower cause I feel disgusting & I beg him to go get tampons for me.

He responds “Is that why you didn’t wanna have sex with me last night? You were worried about your period starting during sex?” I quickly respond “No, I didn’t know I was gonna start my period today. & I just didn’t want to have sex. But I NEED tampons, can you PLEASE go get some?” (& this next part I have on video but he then goes on this 3-5 minute rant about everything I’ve done that has bothered him since my arrival in Kansas.) He goes on to say that on the hour plus long drive from the airport to his apartment how I was being indecisive about what I wanted to do. He said I was going back & fourth on whether or not I wanted to be sexual with him (which is untrue by the way). He said I just kept listing off different things to go out & do rather than wanting to spend “intimate time” with him. He then said “You just kept talking & talking & obviously I just wanted to have time with you.” Uhh, you mean you wanted me to shut the fuck up & just have sex with you. . . GOT IT.

After this I say to him “I’ll just go to the store myself across the street & get tampons. I feel gross.” He insists on driving me. I make up the excuse that I don’t wanna make a mess in his car on accident, again, which was impossible as I was pretending to have gotten my period. He repeatedly insists that he takes me. I again ask if I can just shower & he goes for me for tampons. He again refuses. I just throw my hands up & say I’ll just walk. I pack up my electronics & chargers & such into my small backpack & grab my leviwand too. I tell him I’ll be back in 15-20 minutes. As I’m packing up my backpack to pretend to go to the store he sits down on the floor next to me & says “Do you think when you get back I can have some early birthday sex?” I explain I’m not comfortable having sex while on my period. He responds “Can I at least have an early birthday blowjob?” At this point I’d already packed what I could get away with taking without arising suspicion so I just agree. “Sure, Ken. That’s fine. I don’t see why not.” He says “Promise?”

At this point I get FUCKING PISSED & since I know that I’m about to leave & NEVER COME BACK I blurt out “NO, I don’t promise. You should NEVER ask a woman to promise sexual favors. I’m not a prostitute.” I get super serious with him & say “You know what pissed me off? I bet if I sucked you dick right now you’d be down to go out & do whatever activity I wanted.” He says “No, that’s not true.” I reply “Yeah, it is. All you’re focusing on is sex, nothing else.” At this point I think he could tell I was pissed so he got up & I just said “I’ll be right back, see you in 15-20 minutes.”

Again, this dude just wants to solidify this plan he’s tried to force me into & says “Okay, so you’re gonna go to the store, come back & shower, & then we can spend intimate time together?” I replied “Yep, that’s the plan.” Meanwhile I’m thinking FUCK NO THAT ISN’T THE FUCKING PLAN YOU FUCKING PIG! & I leave with just my backpack of electronics, my wallet, & my leviwand.

I end up leaving my large duffle bag at his apartment with all my clothes & toiletries because I didn’t see a way to take it with me & not make it look like I was bailing out. So all my clothes are just. . . there with Ken at his apartment. Awesome, right?

So I walk to the nearest gas station, grab a few snacks & things & I get an Uber to the motel across town my friends so kindly got for me. Once I check in at the motel & get to my room I have a total mental breakdown. I get so angry & sad & frustrated that this guy who used to be so attentive, romantic, accommodating, & considerate has changed so much to now be this dude that deceived me into flying half way across the country just to be manipulative & who turned out to be the type of dude to try to guilt trip me into having sex with him.

Ken assured me. . . He PROMISED me before flying out to Kansas that there were zero expectations on this trip. I was VERY clear that I DID NOT want to rekindle a relationship with him or sleep with him. & he agreed. But the second I got here he pulled a total 180 on me & turned into this complete fucking pig.

Here’s where the story gets interesting. . .

After having to literally sneak away & ditch Ken, I walked around the motel for a while just flowing with my leviwand talking to various people that were clearly on meth or other hard drugs. Which is fine, as an ex-user myself I can sympathize with them & I rather enjoy their company, as strange as that is. Later on in the night I met this black man named Chris.

We hung out for a bit & turns out that Chris is a crack dealer around the motel. As we’re talking he tells me about how he’s also a barber. I get super excited because I desperately need a buzzing & I ask him if he has clippers on him & if he’d be willing to do my hair for me & sure enough, HE TOTALLY DID! He comes back to my room & buzzed my hair & did a super dope fade. I was very pleased!

Later on he leaves & I’m in my room by myself with the door wide open. Outside I hear a people arguing outside & see Chris shouted back & forth with this other black dude. At one point Chris pulls out a gun & points it at the dude who quickly gets in a car & leaves.

A while later Chris comes back to my room & we are just hanging out & I ask if I can hold his gun. I had never held a pistol before so he kindly teaches me how to load & upload the clip & how to empty the chamber.

So later on in the night he says “Can I smoke in here?” I reply “Yeah, sure, it’s a smoking room so go ahead.” You won’t believe what happens next. I SHIT YOU NOT. . . This dude whips out a fucking pookie to smoke meth & I’m like. . . “Okay, just blow the smoke away from me.”

Since I’m SUPER confident in my 6+ years of sobriety from meth & heroin I’m totally comfortable being around people using & doesn’t bother me or tempt me at all. After 6+ years clean, my sobriety from those things is so deeply engraved into who I am as a person I was fine, it was just unexpected is all.

I explain to Chris that I leave in the morning to Kansas City for fly back to California & he’s like “I’m going that way anyway, I can drive you, I don’t mind.”

At this point I’m just stoked that this random motel crack dealer is being so freaking nice to me & so chill & not weird or flirty at all. I mean, he gave me a dope as hair cut for free & literally wanted nothing from me. He never made any sexual advancements toward me or made any sexual comments toward me. He was just all around kind & generous. & then even offered to take me to my airport which is like over an hour away which would have cost over $180 for an Uber. Chris did it for FREE.

Sunday July 19th, 2020: The next morning Chris ends up driving me from the motel in Topeka to Kansas City & drops me off at a restaurant about 1 nike from the airport so I can get some food & he heads on his way. After getting a bite to eat I then head to the airport & hop on my flight back to LAX.

All in all, I have to say that yeah, the first 1/2 of my trip was fucking hell dealing with creepy ass Ken & then having to abandon my stuff. But ya know, meeting Chris on the second 1/2 of my trip at this shady motel in Topeka, Kansas defiantly make the trip a lot better. Who would have known that a crack dealing barber staying at a motel was 100x nicer than the guy I flew out there to see?

I wouldn’t do this trip again, not in a million years, but it had a pleasant ending. . . I’ll give it that. A REALLY shitty beginning but an entertaining ending.