I can’t catch a break

I Can’t Catch a Break

I sit there; hands gripping the steering wheel tighter by the second. A volcanic eruption of anger shoots through my nervous system. I’m losing patience for the cars in front of me moving in funeral procession style. The driver behind me honks the horn of a tan colored 2016 Toyota Camry. I menacingly look in my rearview mirror to identify the unfortunate soul. A blond woman appearing to be in her mid to late twenties sits pouting. I think to myself “she must know that I can’t move any more forward than she can.” She is attractive, however today her idiotic sense of reasoning has morphed her into a troll.

A police vehicle rolls freely along the left shoulder of the road. “How nice it would be to be able to do the same” I thought. On a good day thirty minutes is all it takes, yet here I remain; languishing in stand still traffic. I will surely be late for English class. Thoughts on what the obstruction could be run through my mind rapidly. Could it be an accident? Is it just the fault of inquisitive drivers slowing down to catch a glimpse of a cop issuing someone a ticket? Is it due to the bottleneck effect that conjoining roads create? Whatever the case may be is ultimately turning what was supposed to be a simple commute into a bitch of a morning.

Birds pass by boasting as they glide overhead. The bastards are showing off their ability to alleviate themselves of having to travel by road. I fume with envy at their mode of transportation. Seconds quickly turn into minutes, but not in my favor. I turn on the radio to find some relief from my now boiling frustration. Sade is singing about a smooth operator. My thoughts drift momentarily toward operating smoothly with her. In an instant, I’m honked out of my daydream by the troll. She is reminding me to move along just as the vehicles in from of me have.

The procession seems to come to an end as traffic starts to move freely. At this point, I don’t know whether to rejoice or give the powers that governs the universe a piece of my mind for testing me in such a fashion. I let out a deep sigh of relief instead. The exit that once appeared so far away is now within reach. My troubles are far from over however, as red light after red light crucifies my already wounded chances of arriving on time. Every derogatory word I know escapes my lips. “I can’t catch a break” I thought. I finally accept the fact that I’ll be at least fifteen minutes late to a job interview of all things.