I Am A Sioux Person

I grew up in the Black Hills of South Dakota, near some fairly large Sioux reservations. It was not at all uncommon to see Native people when we went to the big city of Rapid to buy groceries or go to a movie. I was well aware of the racism towards the Native people. when you would pass them in the store people would make rude comments both to them and about them. In my family we were taught that all humans deserve dignity and respect. My parents did not participate in the cruel game. My father taught me that there is something you can learn from every person you meet because every one of them knows something you don't so be quiet and listen to everyone.

I was a little girl with very dark hair and brown eyes and my skin just did not burn in the sun. I knew some things. I knew that the Black Hills were sacred to the Sioux. My grandmother taught me the Sioux name of my home. PaHaSaPa, which means beautiful black hills. I knew why they had called them the black hills. If you have ever been driving across say Nebraska or Eastern South Dakota and you start to see the hills in the distance because they are covered in pine trees they do indeed look black. What I din't know was that I was Sioux. And it wasn't just because someone forgot to tell me, it was because people told me the opposite.

My first experience that made me ask questions was in first grade. A Native boy moved to our school. His hair was very black and very long. One day when we came in from recess and everyone was using the bathroom before we went back to class and a group of boys was dragging him out of the boys bathroom and they threw him into the girls bathroom. I don't remember what all they said but it had to do with telling him he was a girl and belonged in the other bathroom. Im not sure if it had anything to do with him being Native, any child in first grade can take things quite literally so the young man really thought they were confused so he pulled his jeans down to show them his manhood. I am a person who has no tolerance for meanness. So little me jumped into the middle of it and got them to leave him alone. Then I explained to him that they weren't confused, just mean. We both got sent to the principles office, the boys that humiliated him did not. We were both duly warned that we shouldn't cause any more trouble. And the rest of the time I went to that school they called him "Buck" and me "Squaw".

I had questions. I asked my mother if I was a Squaw. She told me no they were just mean and no we were not Indians. We were French Canadian. I had no idea what that might mean but I didn't think about it too much, I was in first grade and my mom left quite soon after this conversation.

This turned out to not be an unusual occurrence. Over the years it would happen that people would ask me if I was a Native Person. Sometimes they would ask what tribe I was as if the fact that I was Native was a given. One such occasion was when was having lunch with a couple I had just met, she was Navaho. She asked me what tribe I was from. By this point I was nearly 20. I had my suspicions that I was in fact a Sioux. So I told her I thought I was Sioux but my mother said I wasn't. She said no you definitely are. She pointed out my forehead and my nose and said she was quite sure I was Sioux. I was not surprized. I had grown up seeing Sioux people often, I did look like them. My brother looked like them.

So I am not going to share all of these experiences but let's just leave it at they happened often. by the time I was an adult with 4 kids of my own I assumed I was Sioux but couldn't prove it. I approached my mom again. Laws had changed and registered members of tribes were entitled to health insurance. So I explained to her that I had called the tribe and if she and my aunt would go out to the reservation and register her grandkids would have health insurance for life. I couldn't go it. For one I was living on the west coast with 4 kids. But also I was one generation too far removed. She refused, and repeated that we are not Sioux. She sent me a stock family histrory of the Trueaxe family from france. It is in fact a family name from France. It is also a name given to the Sioux. Not because they where from France obviously but because they needed good christian names.