How To Treat A Cheating Husband (Steps To Save Your Marriage After An Affair)

To know that your spouse is having an extra marital affair should not ideally come as a surprise in today's time and age. There was a time when men were accepted to be genetically polygamous. Not any more - research has revealed that even women can look for 'greener pastures' and decide to leave their husbands of many decades. Of course, divorce is not the inevitable next step in an extra marital affair. It could also be some innocent flirting. Whatever be the final outcome of such dangerous liaisons, the crux of the matter still remains that there are some cracks in the marriage which needs to be fixed. Therefore you need to get your plans ready to save your marriage as soon as you see the first cracks, or the situation might go out of hand.

We are excluding any 'one night stands' from this discussion since they remain usually at that stage. If they go beyond, it is time to take note of such developments to save your marriage. At the outset it must be remembered that no body can fulfill all the dreams, demands and aspirations of another person, however close and committed they may be. Over and above fulfilling our basic needs, all of us are looking for something else in our partner which satisfies our other senses. For example, many of us need support, understanding, intellectual trigger and cooperation for our creative pursuits. We need emotional stimulation and partnership in a host of other activities, many of which may not appeal to the spouse. Becoming aware of such needs of your spouse is essential to save your marriage.

Of course there could also be significant vacuum in other areas of basic needs, including sex - which is considered to be one of the most important factors in keeping a marriage going. So, to save your marriage, not only should you accept such realities but also give a closer look at your own shortcomings. Look for vacuums in your marriage where the other person has simply walked in and occupied an important position in the psyche of your spouse. There are two ways you can view the situation: you accept that a breakup is inevitable no matter what efforts you make to save your marriage, since you are not equipped to fill-in many of the 'vacuum areas'; or, confront the situation gracefully by accepting the reality and then make attempts to save your marriage.

Since there are plenty of ways you can approach the problem of a third person in the marriage, let us talk about some of the common events. Suppose the third person is a friend. However angry and hurt you might be about this cruel betrayal, keeping the goal to save your marriage in mind, you need to politely confront the person and ask him to move out. Be prepared to face initial resentment and mud slinging, but you stick to your point and chances are that your spouse takes the developments positively and respects your attempts to save your marriage. But remember never to broach this topic with your spouse ever again in future, after you have been successful in your efforts to save your marriage.

What should you do in case you do not know the intruder? To handle this development with as much grace as possible, you need to have a frank and candid discussion with your spouse. Know what his plans are? If your spouse is expressive and communicative enough, get to know why he fell in love with this person. Was it due to some of your shortcomings or was it a momentary lack of reasoning? If it is the former, to save your marriage, you need to take immediate and visible steps to rectify the shortcomings as much as possible. But if it is the latter, you do not have to worry too much to save your marriage, as your spouse would see sense as soon after the initial charm wears off.

To save your marriage when your spouse is having an extra marital affair is undoubtedly tough, but with time, tenacity, patience, understanding and a lot of love you could emerge as the winner in the race.

5 Ways Logic Rules the Day to Save Your Marriage From His Cheating Ways

While your cheating heart might tell on you, the man in your life might have a different tale to tell. Chances are that if you've caught him cheating you're mulling over whether or not to be the dutiful wife who stands by her man or become the vengeful wife who is bent on revenge or, at the very least, leaving him high and dry.

The problem is that you can make the wrong decision for all the right reasons when you allow emotion to rule the day instead of reason. Logic is your friend - especially when your heart is breaking.

What this means is that you need to avoid making any major decisions until you've had time to process the information and decide what's what in your relationship. Here are five reasons that logic should be used to determine the fate of your marriage after he cheats and not the beat of your broken heart.

1) Logic understands that good people do bad things. No one is perfect and yet we sometimes expect our spouses to be. Your husband is human. Logically you understand that even though somewhere in the back of your mind you expect him to be Superman without the cape and tights when a pickle jar is in distress and Clark Kent without the clumsiness whenever you need a friendly ear. Logic realizes that you're going to get something between Al Bundy and Homer Simpson.

2) Emotion would have you kick him to the curb or beg him to stay right away. Reason has you asking for a little time to process everything before you make any decisions. Your immediate reaction might be tears, jealousy, hurt, or deep down rage. In time you might feel something else entirely but if you react on the emotions you initially felt then you're going to have to work hard to turn back the clock and make nice.

3) Logic allows you to really examine the situation to see if you can afford to leave a cheating husband, how your children will be affected by your leaving, and whether or not you can really put your feelings behind you in an attempt to make things work. Not everyone can and that's OK. You have to do what will ultimately be best for you. Using reason will help you figure out what that is.

4) Logic understands that good people make mistakes and that they often feel a deep sense of remorse over those mistakes. You won't stop loving him the moment you find out what he's done. You will be hurt. The pain will be deep but you can't just turn off the emotional bond the two of you share. If you still love him you can work things out no matter how angry, hurt, or sad you might be.

5) With logic you can forgive him for cheating though you should never forget. You'll always be a little wary and protective of your heart with him but you can move forward after he's been caught cheating. You can only do that though if you allow logic and reason to play major roles in the process.

Specific things you do and say can compel your spouse to love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again - Learn More Here

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages, then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done…