How To Reconcile With Your Husband After Separation (I Want To Reconcile With My Husband)

Reconciliation is not easy. It is probably one of the hardest decisions to make. Why? The pain of the separation is fresh, you may have started extensive processes like separating assets, moving out of a shared living space or even dating again. If the divorce isn't final, reconciliation is a real possibility. How do you know if you are doing the right thing? Does he even deserve your consideration? Those are very important and relevant questions you need to answer, but not an actual step in the decision process. What can you do to make your choices clearer? There is nothing that can really make it easier, but clarity is possible. There are four steps one can do to decide whether they want their husband back. The most important and pertinent step is the List.

Sounds simple enough? In a way it is too simple. You will create a black and white, pros and cons list of why you should take him back or not. The list by itself can not make the choice for your, but it will help you see what you are losing by taking him back and what you are gaining by not. Many times we read it the other way around. A pros and con list has to start by asking the right questions and by bringing the most essential information to the forefront. This isn't about love anymore, this is about quality of life. Your quality of life.

What questions must you ask to make this list relevant and useful? Look at the things you don't miss first. The quirks, eccentricities that you can do without. Separate them into three categories; annoyances, compromises and serious concerns. Let's break those three down. Start by listing the following;

Things that Annoyed Me - These are the lighter things that you don't like; the way he chews with his mouth open, spits when he laughs, snores, etc. You know these are all the things you said you could overlook. Certainly not deal breakers, but they are things that he took when he left and you probably don't miss.

Things that Concerned Me - Time to up the ante. This category consist of behaviors that by themselves aren't deal breakers, but as a whole contribute to a feeling of concern and lack of trust. Include lying, unaccountable time, lack of consideration, and lack of communication on this list. Also add choices you made for his benefit. Choices like not finishing school or not starting your business. You need to discuss and resolve these concerns before he steps back into your life.

Things that Compromised my Health or Safety - Serious concerns that you may need to bring in a third-party, like a counselor. If he participated in unsafe sexual behavior or if he was ever violent or impulsive you have to ask yourself if he is worth possibly putting yourself in a bad predicament again.

This is just the first part of the list, the second part of the list is the positive side. Most people don't need help categorizing those issues and emotions. The pro side is always easier to create and your partner proudly wears those qualities like a badge.

3 Proven Steps to Reconcile With Your Husband

When faced with the reality that the marriage you put so much effort into has hit the rocks despite the fact that you loved your separated husband and remain willing to do everything to see things work out again, chances are that all your thoughts are right now centered on "steps to reconciling with your husband".

Whatever you may have heard or know about fixing a broken marriage, the easy-way approach does not work with relationship issues because these issues are emotional in nature and the reactions associated with them are instinctive and often run contrary to logic and common sense.

If you are thinking of how to reconcile with your husband and you are really serious about it then you cannot afford to act based on your instincts as most people do.

Consider the following steps right away:-

Step 1 - Never let your emotions direct your actions

The first thing you need to do is to step away from the situation you are passing through in order to get a better perspective. At this point, you just cannot afford not to think straight! Displaying emotions of resentment or fear, desperation or anger may well ensure that you chances of reconciliation are permanently lost.

Step 2 - Steer clear of laying blame

When you are faced with a situation of this nature, it is important not to lose focus of what your end goal is - to reconcile with your husband. If your idea of fixing your marriage is to blame or criticize your husband then reconciliation may be a long way from you.

Surely there will be appropriate times to for discussing what happened but for now, you want to reconcile first. Also, you may have discovered through critical self-examination that you too are responsible for some of the things that went wrong in your marriage. Part of the process of reconciling with your husband is to own up to your own faults and take steps to remedy them.

Step 3 - Take your thinking to a higher level and change yourself first

It is often said that the changes we desire in others are made possible a lot faster by the changes we make to ourselves and this is ever so true in resolving conflict is relationships. If you want to see your marriage renewed, make a conscious effort to get yourself above all petty thoughts and bitter struggles. Concentrate on changing yourself and getting a new outlook on life. Finding your inner peace brings about renewed confidence and a radiance that people cannot help but notice, possibly even your separated husband.

Remember, keep a clear head and think straight. Reconciliation in any relationship is not easy and is best handled by following step-by-step advice and guidance which have been tested and proven to work in different circumstances over time.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages, then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done…

There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying… Visit Save The Marriage to find out more. All my best to you and your spouse!