How to Know They’re Into You

I’ve enjoyed dating since middle school, and I am now twenty-four and absolutely, magically, head over heels, in love. I had my fair share of dating, whether fwbs, long-term flings, or full-blown relationships. I've learned a lot over the years about male psychology.

Most of us know the essentials to healthy dating, but we're all guilty of getting caught up in the whirlwind of it all, falling victim to overlooking red flags (and green ones, too!) To even have the potential to be in a successful relationship at any age, we must start fresh with each new partner. An open heart, a patient mind, and a mended soul (if not a semi-healed) goes a long way.

I remember years of scouring Google in the dead of night, tossing and turning over anxious thoughts. I got lost in the rabbit hole of Reddit threads. In an effort to have my specific relationship-centric concerns assuaged, my nervous heart was bandaged. In time, I became accustomed to various patterns of behaviors and what they imply. Pause the google searches for a moment, though. Try to recall the basics.

1. Their body position is directed towards you during the conversation.

Body language is 80% of our communication with others, despite most of our focus diverted to our personal word choices with others, especially potential lovers. If your person leans in to talk to you, looks at you like you’re the only one in the room, or sits excitedly erect, they may only have eyes for you. Some other indicators of intimate body language include standing unusually close or continuously glancing at your lips when you converse.

Just the position of their feet says something, and if you have their full attention, their feet will tell you based on which way they’re facing. They may subconsciously bat their eyes. Or they could stare at you a moment too long after you’ve finished talking. Maybe they lick their lips, run their fingers through their hair, stutter, laugh, smile excessively, not make eye contact at all, compliment you, or try to touch you.

2. They use any excuse to touch you in some way.

They might tell you about a piece of fuzz they see in your hair or eyebrow or even on your lip if they’re confident enough. This imaginary piece of fuzz can steam up the interaction between both of you, especially if you’re now engaging in a mild to moderate public display of affection.

If you’re sitting somewhere, they may sit extra close to you without mentioning a thing, to allow your legs or arms to graze one another. It’s also a low-key way for them to gauge your interest without putting too much at stake. If you move your leg or arm, even unknowingly, they may take that as a sign that you aren’t accepting their advances.

3. They look at your entire face when you are speaking to them.

I figured this cute flirting technique out throughout my many hours of googling “how to tell if a guy likes me” and years later have found it to be true. I love staring at every centimeter of my boyfriend's face because I obviously think he's a beautiful creature. When you speak to people with whom you share no romantic attraction or feelings, you typically make brief eye contact followed by normal natural breaks, which we rarely think about.

But when we are talking to someone we are enamored by, our eyes may naturally jump to their lips because we want to kiss them! Sometimes we look at their cute dimples, their freckles, the shape of their nose, or even their forehead wrinkles we find so charming. Makes sense, right? If they’re circling around your face, they are most likely not examining the scar from the pimple you popped last week. They are elated to witness your beauty at such a close distance.

4. They are open-minded to learn about your passion(s).

If your boo is taking extra interest in talking about the thing that whisks you out of bed in the morning, that’s a sure sign they’ve got a fire in their belly for you, too. When I first met my boyfriend, he wasn't vegan. I didn't expect him to go vegan just because he was dating me, and I left my expectations at the door. To my surprise, he started reading literally every article I had ever published, learned about veganism, and decided to try it out for himself. As an amateur bodybuilder, he had experimented with different diets before, and so far, he's loving veganism!

5. They make time for you- no matter what

I have experienced uncertainty when getting to know someone too many times to know that if someone wants to see you, they will. Ladies, avoid the losers who don’t have time for you. If they are lending you every excuse in the book to try their best to keep you on a shoestring, they have made it clear they only wish to see you on their terms. You deserve more than that. I understand every situation is different, but respect is not something that should be auctioned off like you’re a piece of art in a gallery. Boo, if it were, you would be the Mona Lisa!

You are worthy of respect and time, and you should NEVER think otherwise. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t think it’s necessary to see your partner every single day, and quite frankly I believe that’s too often, at any age. (Obviously, this is different when you're married and living under the same roof.) But when trying to decipher whether the feelings are mutual from the one you’re smitten on, know that making time to see you is a clear indication of interest, my friend.

If they like you, they will see you, no matter the circumstance. And it may sound like I’m being stern. I understand every person has a different schedule, and it can be hard to meet face to face. Even a simple phone call or five-minute video chat can do the trick during busy hours of the day to let you know they are thinking of you and care!

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I hope you gained some insight I have accumulated from lots of heartbreak and feelings of love I’ve had the privilege to know to date. No matter what, you are worthy and deserving of love. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you think they like you, they just might! 😊 And if they don’t, don’t fret. There is someone out there hoping to meet someone just like you right now.