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How To Deal With In-Laws Living With You (I Hate When My Mother In Law Visits)

I truly feel bad that you're even in a position where you have to be looking for the answer to how to deal with in-laws living with you. I can say that with complete honesty and empathy because I have been exactly where you are now, and not too long ago I might add. If you're saying I hate when my mother in law visits, then this might be the most important thing you've ever read.

By Logan JacobPublished 3 years ago 6 min read

There is a distinct set of rules to follow when you are expecting a visit from your husband's OTHER favorite gal. Yes, these rules take effort, but well worth it! Let's begin.

1. Before Your Mother In Law Comes for a Visit, Make the Bed with Her Linens and Put Her Towels in the Bathroom

If your mother in law enjoys storing her own linens, pillows, blankets, comforters and towels at your house for use when she visits, make sure you have them ready and put them out upon

arrival. Although you might get the impression that she thinks your things are simply not good enough for her, more likely it's just that she is used to what she is used to, no reflection on you. After all, we like our stuff too, right?! Simply condense them nicely in some shrink-wrap material and place them in a box under the bed upon her departure.

2. Put up the Household Items Your Mother In Law Brings Over

If your mother in law loves to bring things over to improve your home, such as curtains, little rugs to put in front of the sink, rags for doing the dishes, potters for your plants, towels for the bathroom and other things of this nature, before she comes, put them out and about. When she leaves, simply take them down and store them in a box labeled, "My Favorite House-hold items" and store them in an out of the way place such as your basement or garage. If she gives you Christmas decorations, put them on your tree. There is nothing bothersome about Christmas decorations! And it's one less thing you have to remember to do during the holiday season.

Enjoy them!

3. Empty the Fridge Before Your Mother In Law Comes to Visit

Your mother in law may arrive with a giant cooler replete with her favorite foods such as Wonder Bread Hot Dog Buns and Oscar Meyer Dogs, Tupperwares full of Sloppy Joes, macaroni salad, and of course, a Ziploc of iceberg lettuce with jars of her very own homemade dressing. If there's no room in your refrigerator, she may jostle your stuff to the side, perhaps even knocking it to the floor. So, rather than witness your tofu stir-fry strewn all over the tiles, make sure you keep a shelf or two wide open for your mother in law and her provisions. Don't take it personally - she's just not used to the kinds of things that you eat, is all!

4. Agree with Your Mother In Law About What a Disaster Your Home Is

Do everything you can to make your house as neat as possible before a visit - you might even consider hiring a cleaning service! In the process of neatening up, however, you might pick a room in which to deposit the extraneous

clutter so the rest of your dwelling appears sparse and orderly. Inevitably, this will be the area that your mother in law finds first, promptly informing you what a complete catastrophe your home is. (Unfortunately, she does have a point

there!) Thus, utilize the technique of preemptive apologizing-beat Mom to the punch and tell her you are going to sign up for one of those home-improvement shows on HGTV such as "Before and After," "Designers' Challenge" and "What's With That House?"

5. Better to Order Out When Your Mother In Law Comes to Visit!

Certainly do not bother creating a meal, as your mother in law will most likely not be accustomed to your type of food. The

amount of effort you put into producing it will be inversely proportionate to her reaction. For example, you may spend two days preparing a wonderful feast: penne with pesto, pine-nuts and sun-dried tomatoes, green salad with

caramelized walnuts, pear and gorgonzola cheese, spicy black bean dip with onions and garlic, tabouli salad with garbanzo beans and avocado. As you proudly announce, "Dinner is served!" the doorbell may simultaneously ring to

the tune of DOMINO'S. So save yourself the trouble and order a couple of large pepperoni pies, or simply take Mom out to the local diner.

Dealing With In-Laws During Special Occasions

Marriage comes with it the challenge to deal with your in-laws. Whether you're newly married or have been married for several years already, there's always an adjustment period when it comes to establishing relationships with the parents and siblings of your other half.

For some people, it takes them longer to be able to feel at ease in the presence of their in-laws. They may feel intimidated or shy particularly for those who think their partner's parents or sibling do not like them. For the others, however, it may take only a short period of time. This is often the case among people who are extroverts and who can easily establish rapport with their partner's family.

Special occasions are one of those times when families get together and as such, presents a challenge for spouses particularly the wives to be in one place with their in-laws. But these events should not make you fearful or stressful because you can take steps to be in good terms with your in-laws.

A good way to enjoy the occasion with the parents or siblings of your spouse is to offer some help. If you're skilled in cooking or grilling, you can do that to lessen their burden. You can also offer to set the table, wash the dishes afterwards or perhaps do some errands in preparation for the party. This gesture will surely endear you to them particularly if done on a consistent basis. Your help will be much appreciated and don't get tired of it, if possible. Do it as a labor of love.

Show your interest on your mother-in-law's cooking as well. The wives can do this but for husbands who love to cook, you can also do this. Your presence in the kitchen may not be needed but if you can just observe how your partner's mom cooks her recipes, she will be flattered.

Don't consider yourself a guest. This means you have to clean up after yourself once you're done eating. Show that you're a responsible adult who knows how to do household chores. Instead of giving your hosts more work, try to do the simple tasks yourself. These include washing the dishes and doing the laundry if you're staying for a few days at your in-laws' place.

Try to take part in family games and conversations. This will make you a little more at ease than feeling like an outsider. Just remember not to push yourself but try to contribute to the conversation when you can and most especially when asked about your opinion. In short, you need to be a sport by being a team player. Then you'll eventually find out that doing so makes being part of the family a lot faster.

Finally, make sure you handle your family. It can be a big circus when several families get together so you have to know how to handle your children's issues that may arise. Be humble and avoid showing your dominant side. If you're having a hard time, request your spouse to help you deal with the in-laws while you handle the kids.

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