How to be a Heartbreaker

High school sucks. At least for most people it does. Secondary 4 was probably my worst year.

We all know what it’s like to not fit in. I was one of the only black girls in my entire school. I had friends...or at least I thought I did. When I was younger, from secondary one through three, I had a clique. We were all outsiders together so that made high school so much easier. Unfortunately by the time I reached secondary 4, that entire clique had been dismantled. My best friend had been hospitalized unfortunately, two of my closest friends had moved away, I dated one of the members and when we broke up, the friendship was over, some found new friends, others had graduated, and before I knew it, it was just me. So what kept me going? Well that’s easy. The whole reason I was looking forward to high school was to be grown. What do grown women have that little girls don’t? Boyfriends. That’s right.

So throughout all of high school I was on the hunt for the one. I always had my eyes on somebody, but it was never reciprocated. I figured it was probably because I was black. I was always caught up on some guy and talking about them to the few friends that I had whether it was at their house during sleepovers or in class. I would find excuses to text them and when my heart was broken by them it felt like the whole world was ending. I was always the one having my heart broken until the day that I finally heard that song.

Yes, that’s the one. How to be a Heartbreaker. My days of having my heartbroken were finally over.

 “Rule number one is that you gotta have fun, then baby when you’re done, you gotta be the first to run.”

My days of being obsessive and high strung were over. If I was talking to a guy, it was for shits and giggles.

“Rule number two, never get attached to somebody you can lose.”

I would no longer allow myself to get emotionally invested in anyone. As said in One Tree Hill: “People always leave”, and besides, high school was almost over anyway so I’d never be seeing most of those people ever again.

“Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek, but never on your sleeve, unless you want to taste defeat.”

My days of confessing my love to boys who did not give two shits about me were over. Thank God.

So when that boy broke up with his girlfriend and came back crawling to me, the answer was no because I was already over him. This was my self love anthem before “Thank you, Next”.

Surprisingly though, once I was over and done with that boy, I managed to find the one. He didn’t go to my high school and thought I was the most beautiful girl in the world. It was love at first sight. I think what made me even more attractive was the confidence I found by quitting the heartbroken life and becoming the heartbreaker. It was the best summer of my life. I did crush some hearts along the way but they led me to him. We were 16 when we met, on our way to our last year of high school (different ones might I add) and we were living the kind of summer romance you only see in movies. After the summer, when I went back to high school for my last year, I wasn’t phased by anyone especially not some silly boy because I had my man.

Now, almost 6 years later, we’re still together and even have a baby together. How’s that for a happy ending?