How Does My Best Friend Not Hate me?

My name is Danielle. I am 20 years old but this story goes all the way back to when I was in my Sophomore in high school. Well I guess that was only 4 years ago but after living through the year 2020, it feels like forever ago.

The most dreadful day of the year has arrived. The day that every kid despises. The day that ends the most lovable season of summer. The first day of school. I was not looking forward to a long year of homework, essays, test and mean teachers that yell at you for having to go to the bathroom. Although I wanted to hibernate until the end of the school year I got myself out of bed and started getting ready. After about 45 minutes I ran downstairs hugged my mom goodbye and jumped into my friends car. Hannah, she was a senior at the time so she drove me to and from school everyday. Before we knew it we were pulling into the parking lot of our least favorite place. Late as always we grabbed out bags and ran to the doors before the bell rang.

After receiving the typical "have a good first day" text from my mom I started walking to my first class. I had study hall first period which was not the worst. I can just do my homework from the night before in the mornings. Who does homework at home anyway? Not me thats for sure. I didn't have many friends in that class so I popped my earbuds in and watched some Netflix. Second and third period were the same, didn't have any of my friends in those classes so I just figured I would keep to myself. The day went on and now it was time for lunch. I had many friends in my lunch period. It was great! It even made me think this year wasn't going to be so bad after all. Right after lunch I walk into my next period class. Social Studies. Right away I notice that there is a new kid. He's tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. So weird exactly my type. But not at the time. I noticed he was new but didn't really look at him twice. He was just another peer who has Social Studies 7th period. That class felt like it took forever. Even though I had a lot of friends in that class, history has never been my favorite topic. As the bell rings I walk into my next period class. Geometry, Another least favorite. My teacher calls my name off the seating chart and I look up from my phone to see that the new kid is sitting next to me. Just like before I didn't think too deep into it. I went back on my phone and watched the clock move slowly. before I knew it the first day of school was over and I was back in the car with Hannah jamming to our favorite songs.

The school year went on and nothing out of the ordinary happened. It was actually going pretty well. Except this one little thing. Remember that new kid I told you about. I absolutely cannot stand him. He's so annoying and loud and goofs around with his friends and even made the teacher o mad that she gave us assign seats in social studies. The thought of him made me want to pull my hair out. I couldn't seem to get away from him. At the beginning of the year I decided to switch around my schedule and with my luck, he was in almost every one of my classes. It was like being in class with a toddler every second of everyday. Oh and heres the icing on the cake. One afternoon after a long day Hannah and I are driving home having a great time listening to music, talking about boys and deciding if we should get Starbucks or not. Which was basically an everyday dilemma, we pull into our neighborhood. A bus was in front of us dropping kids off which seems like every two seconds. When the bus pulled up to its next stop you're never gonna believe who got off. Yep thats right, the new kid. In my neighborhood. Three streets away from my house. A six minute walk if even. How did I never notice this before. Now I really cant get away from him even if I tried.

One the last day of school my best friend Jenna came up to me and said "hey I'm having a couple people over my house tonight you should come over." Thats sounds pretty fun but I wonder who's all going. I told her I would come and asked who's going. she named off the normal group of friends we always hang out with and then said "and Jay is bringing his friend i think his names...Luke" Nope absolutely not I'm not going. She begged me to come. "You don't even have to talk to him, just act like he's not there." Somehow she finally got me to agree and after school I got ready and headed to Jenna's. Everything was fine we were all having fun, swimming and playing beer pong. (don't tell my mom please) Jennas house was the house we all went to. If we were going to Jennas, we knew we were gonna have a fun time. As the night went on everyone started leaving. It was down to Jay, Luke, Jenna and I. It was fine I guess. Just a little bit awkward. The boys finally left and now I get to enjoy a whole summer without the new kid. Wait whats his name...oh ya Luke.

A couple days later I'm hanging out with my mom when I get a text from Jenna. " Wanna hangout." Of course I wanna hangout she my best friend we cant go one day without each other. She has gotten her license recently so she picked me up and we went on our way. About an hour passes and she suggest that we pick up some other friends. Again I ask who she she says "Jay and Luke" At first I declined by saying " I just really want to hangout with you tonight. We can have a girls night." But after seeing the disappointment in her face I decided to say fine. We made our way to Luke's house to pick them up. Luke finally come outside and says "why don't we just stay at my house and swim." We agreed and walked inside. Swimming and listening to music and having fun I thought maybe these two boys aren't so bad after all. Still having a little hatred for Luke, I let loose and had a good time.

For the first month of summer us four became best friends. We were together everyday. I developed a friendship with Luke and realized he wasn't so annoying and immature after all. Sitting by the fire roasting marshmallows, Jenna pulls me aside. She says "Danielle I think I have feelings for luke." I said "no way you should totally go for it I see the way he looks at you." After that night Jenna and Luke had admitted their feelings to each other and were officially in the "talking stage" as us teens like to call it. Nothing had really changed except our other friend Taylor started hanging out with us. Instead of it being us four it was now us five together almost everyday. It was great. Truly what felt like the best summer ever. All until this one day. I was in my room getting ready for the day when I see my ex boyfriend post a picture with his new girlfriend. You could say I still had feelings for this boy. I mean he was my first real boyfriend and we were together for over a year when he decided to end the relationship with no warning. I saw the picture and tears immediately started streaming down my face. I called Jenna so upset and she said " we are on our way to pick you up" She always knew how to feel better but this time I just wanted to lay in bed and cry until I had no tears left. All of a sudden I hear someone open my bed room door. Luke? "Get out I don't want to go anywhere" I said. "Get up you're coming with us" he said. He proceeded to drag me out of bed. "Everyone is in the car waiting we are gonna take you somewhere fun." "Nope" I said. He grabbed my face looked in my eyes and said " you are so beautiful inside and out and anyone who cant open up their eyes and see that is not worth your tears" My heart skipped a beat. In that moment I realized, I have feelings for luke.

Oh no this is not good. how can I have feelings for the guy my best friend is with. I cant. I am just gonna push them deep down and forget they are there. But what if he feels the same? He didn't just say that to say that. I could see it in his eyes he meant it. No I need to stop this is crazy. Jenna has tried with so many guys in the past and they all end up breaking her heart. She really likes luke I cant mess this up for her. I shove those feelings way deep down and try my hardest to forget about them. I get pull myself together and get in the car. They take me to the zoo! We were having so much fun and I had forgot all about my stupid ex boyfriend. Unfortunately because they only thing that was spinning through my head was Luke. How did my feeling do a 180 in two seconds. All because that one thing he said. Well I cant lie I've always thought he was attractive and funny, but I never in a million years thought of him in way other way than annoying and hot. When he looks at me now its a whole different feeling. A I just want you to kiss me feeling. I don't like it. The rest of the day I had this awful feeling in my gut thinking of what would happen if Jenna ever found out. I kept myself calm reminding myself that he probably does not feel the same way and just said that to make me get out of bed.

A couple weeks on me keeping my secret and pushing my feeling down and everything was good. I tried to distance myself from the group for a while until one day we all decided to hangout. We were going to meet up at Taylors then go to dinner. Jenna had cheer so she was going to meet up with us at the restaurant. The four of us were just passing time at Taylors waiting for Jenna to text us and tell us cheer practice was over. I am laying on the couch on my phone when I feel someone lay next to me and bear hug me. "Um what are you doing" I said. Luke said " I just wanted to lay with you." Weird. Taylor gave me a look and I gave her a look back "like girl I don't know either." Part of me wanted to tell him to get off but another part of me didn't. The whole day he was very flirty with me. I didn't know how to respond. Does he know I have a crush on him? Did someone find out and tell him and now he's messing with me? I tried to keep my distance but every time he said something to me I couldn't help but blush. After dinner Jennas drove Luke home like always. I drove the rest of us home. As I step into my house i got a text from Jenna. It said "he finally kisses me!" Oh. My. Gosh. I quickly responded with a simple "I'm so happy for you!" and went to bed with this awful gut feeling. I got about one hour of sleep that night because the guilt was eating me alive.

Luke came over one day alone. Which was kinda out of the ordinary. We always hangout in the group but we each never really hangout one on one. Confused I asked what he was doing here. He said "oh is it that hard for you to hang out with me one on one?" "Oh shut up" I said. This became an almost everyday thing now. We would hangout one on one and I knew I was being a bad friend. I was letting a boy come in between me and my best friend. we promised we would never do that. The worst part was she had no idea. Although nothing was happening between Luke and I we were genuinely hanging out as friends it was still wrong and I knew that. I couldn't help it though. I wanted this kid and the more I tried to avoid it the more I wanted him but I didn't know how he felt towards me until he kissed me. Yep he kissed me. I was in shock. But I didn't resist it. The gut feeling came back. I the worst best friend ever.

I had a talk with Luke. I said if this is going to happen we cant hid it from Jenna. I need to be honest with her and tell her whats going on and you need to stop leading her on. We have already messed everything up we cant make it worse. He agreed but we were both to scared to do it right away so we figured we would wait a little but. Jenna was so happy I don't want to see her upset. especially when its because of something I did. Eventually I think she started to catch on to what was going on. She wasn't texting us at much asking to hangout. She would make up excuses when we would invite her. After a couple weeks of that I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt awful I was making my best friend feel this way. I completely cut things off from Luke and told him to be with her. She the most perfect person in the whole world why wouldn't he want to be with her anyway. He said he couldn't because he doesn't feel the same about her anymore. "I wanna be with you" he said. At this point I was stuck. What do I do? Chose the guy that I hated three months ago. Or chose my best friend and end something potentially great.

I decided to be completely honest with Jenna. I went to her house and laid it all out on the table. As i finished telling her everything I was ready for her to punch me right in the face. Tell me she hated me. Kick me out of her house and never wanna see me again. But thats not what happened at all. she took a breath and said "Danielle I knew what was going on the whole time. Although I wish you would've told me sooner, I'm not mad at you. I just want you to be happy and if he makes you happy then please be with him." What? Really? No punch? No kicking me out? She then started to say "and the reason I haven't been hangout with you guys as much is because I met a new guy and he's great. we've been hanging out a lot and I really like him." I responded with "I'm so happy for you and i just need to apologize again. Im so sorry for everything." "Don't be sorry" she said "If this never happened I wouldn't have met this guy who really like." We hugged it out and spent the rest of the summer having the best time ever!

Back to present time luke and I are still dating. Four years going strong. Jenna and her bf at the time broke up not to long after but now she met an amazing guy who is great! And yes Jenna and luke are friends. We all still hangout all the time. I seriously have the most amazing best friend in the world.