How Does A Man Live Meaningfully?

I think one of the interesting things about being human is that each of us can decide what we value, what we value, and what we attribute meaning. What is meaningful to me may have no value to you and vice versa. Each of us can choose.

I would seriously encourage you to buy a copy of "The Search for the Meaning of Man" by Viktor Frankl. Frankl was a neurologist and psychiatrist who, along with his parents, brother and wife, was imprisoned by the Nazis during World War II.

Before being captured and sent to Auschwitz, Frankl completed his residency at a Vienna psychiatric hospital where he worked exclusively with suicide patients.

He developed an existential analysis called logotherapy, which was remarkably effective in treating those patients for whom no other method was useful. Logotherapy is based on three ideas:

Life has meaning in all circumstances, even the most miserable.

• Our main motivation to live is our will to find meaning in life.

What's the most important lesson you've learned from being a taxi driver?

I ruined my life completely and I can fail my 12th standard again. I feel guilty and suicidal. What should I do?

Can you be disciplined while enjoying life to the fullest?

Why is life so mundane?

What's the stupidest thing you've ever done because of your neglected/forgotten stuff?

• We have the freedom to find meaning in what we do and what we experience, or at least in the posture we take when faced with a situation of immutable suffering.

In "Man's Search for Meaning" Frankl discusses logotherapy and postulates that we can discover meaning in three different ways:

(1) creating a work or making a writing

(2) experiencing something or finding someone

(3) Because of the attitude we take toward inevitable suffering.

It further states that:

"... anything may be stolen from one guy except the last of human freedoms: the ability to choose one's attitude in any set of circumstances."

I can't, nor can anyone else tell you what is meaningful to you, only you can decide for yourself. I can tell you that this book helped me define what was meaningful to me. It helped me ask myself challenging questions and clarify what I found most valuable in my life. Frankl puts it this way:

"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is but should recognize that he is the one being asked. In a word, every man is questioned by life; and he can only respond to life by answering for his own life; To life, he can only respond by being responsible."

One of my favourite lines in the book sounded completely to me:

"Love is the only way to capture another human being at the deepest core of their personality. No one can be fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. Through his love, he is able to see the essential traits and characteristics in the loved one; and even more, see what is potential in it, what is not yet updated but should be updated. In addition, by his love, the loving person allows the loved one to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what can be and what should become, he makes these potentialities a reality."

This single paragraph helped me tremendously. It helped me realize and define a fundamental personal value: I want to be a loving person. The kind of person who genuinely cares about others. Whoever looks beyond the external and finds or attempts to find the heart and humanity in another and, in doing so, recognizes the inherent value of each and encourages each to his full potential.

THAT's meaningful to me, it's part of what I want in my life.

Another idea that helped me define another personal value was this:

"Don't aim for success. The more you write it down and make it a target, the more you'll miss it. Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must follow, and it only does so as the unwanted side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's giving to a person other than oneself.

Happiness must happen, and the same goes for success: you must let it happen without worrying about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and to continue to carry yourself out as far as you know best. Then you will live to see that in the long term, in the long term, I tell you, success will follow you, precisely because you had forgotten to think about it."

I could go on and on, but I will abstain. This answer is already much longer than I intended. To summarize, we each have to define meaning on our own terms. I found reading Frankl's work to be an extremely useful tool for doing it for myself and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to clarify meaning and purpose in their own life. Best of luck to you!