How Do You Know You’re In Love?

Falling in love is such a pleasurable thing, the tell-tale signs are not easily missed because they take over your life for as long as the feeling lasts. They permeate every activity, they define your actions and appear to take on a vibrant life of their own. There is no greater feeling than being in love, because that is strongly connected to our feeling of self-worth, desirability and acceptance, which makes it one of the happiest moment’s of a person’s life. When we are in love, the world seems to take on a glow all of its own, and we are likely to view things and people through more positive lens.

The most obvious signs of love in the air are most evident in six major forms of behaviour, especially the first three:

1. Constant Loving Thoughts

When we are in love, we cannot stop thinking about that person. We spend a lot of time imagining what we did with them (like that first kiss, or the way we met) and that is relived over and over; fantasising about spending time with them, and constantly wondering what they are doing, while smiling to ourselves like Cheshire cats who got the cream! It is really difficult not to think about the loved one mainly because they make us feel happy; they make us want to shout out loudly from the rooftops, to tell the world how we feel, and they give us a quiet sense of satisfaction and self reinforcement in being loved, desired and wanted.

2. Increased Communication and Interest

This is a time when the desire to communicate with the loved one is strongest. We tend to become more expressive and open. There will be lots of phone calls, visits and/or texts/emails between the parties. There will be dialogue around the most insignificant things. There will also be playfulness, teasing, expressions of endearment, tons of questions, and plans about sharing activities. In fact, it will be non-stop communication around the things that matter, coupled with an insatiable mutual interest in the lives of both parties. Everything, no matter how trivial, will assume importance and significance to maintain that connection and dialogue. This is because the very act of communicating is both enjoyable and self-reinforcing, hence both parties try to get even more of it.

3. Increased Affection


Nature brings people together through attraction and touch. One of the most significant signs of being in love is the desire to touch the other person. Hugging, holding hands, embracing, kissing and being close together become routine, especially in the early stages of any relationship. When we are attracted to someone we really have the strongest desire to be very intimate with them, especially to make love and to spend as much time with them as possible. This is called mutual 'chemistry', when the attraction is so powerful that the parties constantly want to touch each other and share their space.

4. Desire to Please

Love gives us a strong desire to please. At such times we would go to the ends of the earth for the person we love. Nothing seems too difficult or challenging because we are trying to impress, to be given the seal of approval. In fact, we would even take up hobbies we do not like, if the other person is doing them, just to show how much we care about them and to gain their approval! When we love someone we want to make them notice us and to keep that loving feeling going as long as possible. This is where we are at our most compliant and amenable. It also explains why many people can be taken advantage of during these heady, vulnerable times.

5. Desire to Share


One of the surest tell-tale signs of love is the strong desire to share whatever we have with the loved one: whether it be our encouragement, time, money, knowledge or space. We become unduly generous with what we have when we love someone else because that becomes a key part of proving our love to them. The act of sharing in a relationship brings out the protective and caring instincts. Sharing brings people even closer together because it also leads to a gradual understanding of each other's worth while emphasising the values they both have, which is an important pointer to their future together.

6. Feeling Extra Happy


This is such an obvious sign of love, it can be safely assumed that where there is no feeling of heady happiness there really is no love. If one is feeling unhappy in a new, or established, relationship that is a sure sign that the love is going because love gives a unique feeling all of its own. We feel almost invincible when we are in love: joyous, contented and reinforced with a new positive perspective on the world. A genuine feeling of happiness goes hand in hand with love which is why relationships that end without mutual agreement is often so painful because the happiness is replaced by pain and loss.

These six signs are pervasive in all feelings of love because the acts of sharing, touching, communicating, pleasing and thinking simply demonstrate mutual respect for each other. When these elements are reduced, or they disappear, one can safely say that the love has gone and the relationship is likely to be over, too.

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