Host Clubs and Rental Partners

I'm not necessarily going to focus on a specific anime this time, but expand upon a concept, and it's part in Japanese culture.

I recently watched through Ouran High School Host Club after remembering that I had never actually finished it, and while the series was far from what I would normally enjoy, it covered a major topic in Japan right now. Marriage rates are dropping, and there are more single working women there than ever before. Younger people have stopped following as much of the expectation of finding someone who will simply fit the tag of being a good spouse, and are instead working on themselves.

People need people though. While normally I would celebrate independence, self-sufficience, and breaking the societal norm, they need companionship, and a sense of connection. In order to avoid the pressure of marriage from family, we instead see a rise in host clubs, or even rental partners. Paying for the attention and affection of others, without the expectation and commitment. Almost like a version of some dating apps out there, that focus on the pet names and gentle touches, rather than simply expectations of sex.

And that's where the anime kicks in, because one of the core themes that exists is a failure at communication. Because we have these superficial transactional relationships that exist in a host club, the characters are almost completely inept when it comes to actually speaking to each other earnestly. If it isn't playing a role, fulfilling a theme, and advertising oneself as a product, these characters don't know how to genuinely share time and thoughts together. One of the major things that they don't understand, is the idea of intimate bonding. Sharing true vulnerability, because their everyday interactions are expected to only stay surface level. They then fail themselves, because there isn't even the introspection of characters learning their own wants and needs, even before the lack of communication in sharing those with the other members.

Unfortunately, with the culture of host clubs, it means that both sides wind up failing at actually developing healthy relationships. The customer may get a sense of companionship, but they also know that they're buying a product, rather than actually investing in learning a complex person. Likewise, even married people may seek out these services, because finding someone who would simply be a good spouse, doesn't mean they make for a good connection. It lacks actual substance, and rather than solving a problem, is like treating only a single symptom. What we wind up with is people constantly chasing different wavering whimsies, rather than taking the time to enjoy small intimate moments and build solid connection.

It creates a culture where no one knows how to develop real deep compassion and relationships. Especially in a space where companionship is transactional, it makes for an imbalance of power that can encourage a feeling of wanting to pressure the host for whatever one can get away with. People who exist this way are likely to wind up stunted, in many ways. Unable to know how to find what they truly want, they can't share it with others, but expect them to simply know and perform the way they need deep down. What's worse is that with the societal pressure to just perform the actions of marriage and family, that also doesn't encourage actually having the proper skills to tend to interpersonal relationships. This may well reflect on a lot of the culture around late nights for salarymen only becoming later after the obligatory overtime and work drinks.

What's worse is we see this type of rental online date becoming popular in the west as well. Hopefully it doesn't stick.