Hard Decisions Require Empathy

We have experienced perhaps the most surreal experience of our lives in the last two weeks. It may have more lasting effects than "60 days at home," and that is why many of us almost laugh when we call Zoom! Someone we haven’t seen in a while and we admit how strange it is to be feeling right now. As we are invited to this intimate world via videoconferencing, I have been inside more people's houses and apartments than I ever thought possible.

We are only two weeks in and we are still struggling to comprehend the consequences for many, both financially and emotionally.

Our business lives are filled with difficult decisions that can have a lasting impact on our businesses. We don't have a compass to help us navigate the way we want to go. It's akin to choosing a fork in a road filled with dense fog, and without anyone to help us.

We have to make changes in our personal lives to be productive. This is often done with others sharing our homes, who may have their own ideas about how to best use our space and our time. What are our favorite foods? Where can we shop? What is safe? Is it safe for my parents to do? Can I travel to Winter, or plan a Winter wedding?

Who the fuck knows.

You should also know that everyone is exactly in this mind space. This is what makes it so surreal. My mind is constantly racing with all the things that are ahead, and all the weekly decisions I have to make. It makes it difficult to relax at night. Many of you may be in a similar situation. If you are feeling really down, please reach out to a trusted mentor, friend, or family member. We will all make it through this together and there is always tomorrow, no matter what that may bring. In past economic hardships, I lost friends who couldn't see the light at end of the tunnel.

The moment demands decisiveness from all sides, whether it is for founders of startups or executives who are faced with making difficult decisions with incomplete information.

How to deal with customers

What to do about your expenses

What to say to investors / board members

What happens when you fund raise?

Do I have to make employees redundant or take a furlough?

do I qualify for government assistance?

You don't understand the gravity of the situation if your head doesn't spin.

Each of these decisions could easily be a blog post on its own, but today I want you to know more about yourself as you navigate through complexity and make decisions that will affect the lives and livelihoods of others. ....

Empathy.

It seems obvious that I shouldn’t have to mention that. However, I have heard many snide comments over the past two weeks about cuts, renegotiations and changing terms. While I realize that many people will be unable to cope with stressful times, it is important to pause and consider your actions and words and the impact they have on others (or if they are the right ones).

To paraphrase a friend and CEO with whom we work,

"Yeah, I understand I have to make cuts due to changing demand, but I want this to be done with a scalpel, not an axe."

He did a detailed analysis of his customer base to determine which customers would be affected. He created a program to offer payment holidays to customers who work in "hit" industries such as entertainment and travel. He identified industries that were likely to see strong demand and presented a case for protecting as many jobs as possible. He requested that he wait a few weeks to get market signals before making any changes. It was the thoughtful response from an empathic leader.

Your decisions should be rational, logical, and financially sound. Consider:

Is there a fundamental shift in the demand for my product that has lasted?

What is my cash runway for the future if there's no recovery in demand?

Is there an alternative way to raise money or strengthen my balance sheet?

If so, what cost must we reduce to allow our company to weather the current storm?

You may have to make unavoidable decisions such as letting go of employees, suppliers or offices, or reducing bonuses and working hours. Here is where empathy comes in to play. It's easy to try to shield yourself from the intense emotions that can result from losing a job, a supplier or the loss of a customer. Do not try to protect yourself. Take control of the situation and be present during times of crisis. Empathy is a great way to show empathy when you are faced with difficult decisions.

You can let employees go or furlough them one-on-one or have senior staff members divide employees up and do it 1-1. Or 2-1 if HR is needed. But my point is that every employee affected deserves a private meeting. They deserve compassion, because regardless of your stress levels, your actions will make their stress levels worse.

They don't have to hear you saying in an antiseptic manner, "Look, there is no other choice." This is your job or it's all gone. That may be true but lacks empathy. You should say, "Sadly, we have made the decision that your job will be eliminated." "I'm sorry this will affect your life and I don’t take lightly how much it must be to me." This doesn't change what happened, but it is the right thing to do.

You are free to use your own words or phrases, but it is important that you acknowledge the pain, cost, and consequences of your actions, even if there was no other option. Let the other person speak. Let them express themselves. They might need to cry, or yell at your face -- whatever. You don't have to tell them that they didn't do what you asked or that they weren't doing enough. Let them speak. This doesn't mean that anything will change. It's a time to relax, allow others to vent, and then politely move on.

Financial empathy can be as important as emotional. It is important to ensure that your company makes sound financial decisions. I don't advocate being too cautious about money. If you run out of money, everyone loses their job and all investors lose their money. If there are things that you can do to help people get through government assistance, or severance and medical benefits, you should. You should ask your company to assist with resume writing, job searching, and contacting other companies to inform them that you were redundancies.

The March 2020 month has been difficult for our country and the world. But, the sad truth is that this is only one of many heartbreaking stories and situations around the globe. You are more important than ever in times like these for your family, friends, colleagues, employees, and business partners.

Reach out if you feel we can help each other. I promise that I will make the effort.