Halloween? Barf up Jelly Beans!

There are a few rumors and doubts about me floating around from my childhood. Did he really draw boobs on the blackboard? Did he really put chocolate chip cookies on bread and make a cookie sandwich? Did he really cause a paper fight in class, when there was a substitute teacher present, and made her cry? Did he really bet a kid he wouldn’t pee on the bathroom boiler heater, which caused the entire left wing of the middle school to be evacuated? Did he really barf in a bowl of jelly beans at a school Halloween party? In all honesty, some I can’t remember, but there is one that does stick out in my mind. You see, in our house, we always ate regular food. Nothing fancy, unless it was a birthday, pay-day, holiday or something to celebrate. I loved sweets, but my mom always monitored the amount I could eat. I always wanted more, but when she said enough, she meant it. I always hated that, but one day, in cold October, I had a plan. I would hardly eat nothing for breakfast or lunch that day because I knew the first grade Halloween party was coming up in last period. We could sit in homeroom and eat candy. I loved jelly beans and I know they loved me back because I could hear them calling to me from way down the hall. Oh how I was so excited to walk into my homeroom and see a big bowl of them starring me right in the face. I ignored the other cookies and candies. I wanted jelly beans. We all sat quietly for a spell. “Ok class, you may get some goodies to take back to your seat.” Ms. Bondry, our first grade teacher, said wearily, with her head buried deep in a book. I jumped up and push the weaker kids aside. There was always that one big kid who led the way. I got to the jelly bean bowl and filled my mouth and pockets so quickly, Ms. Bondry didn’t even notice me. Oh glorious day! I went back to my seat and finished the rest of them off, in less then a minute, because I didn’t want the bowl to go empty. I slithered back over to the bowl, as Ms. Bondry’s head was still buried in that book. Must have been a good book because she did not notice me going over to the bowl about nine or ten more times. With no voice saying, “Bobby, that enough”, like at home, I went back one more time to top my stomach off. All of a sudden, I hard a rumbling sound and felt my stomach jerk. I reached the bowl and placed another handful in my mouth. I swallowed. What I thought was just going to be a routine burp turned out to be something much worse. I projectile vomited directly into the bowl of jelly beans. The other kids jumped up from their seats. Some were laughing. Some were ewwwing and some were just plan disgusted. Ms. Bondry jumped from her chair yelling my name. “Bobby!” I fell to the floor holding my stomach and moaning, “Kill me…Somebody kill me!” The pain was excruciating. I started expelling gas loudly. Ms. Bondry dragged me to the in-class bathroom were I expelled every jelly bean, I have ever eaten in my entire young life, that day. From that point on, before every school party, the phrase “Is Bobby going to be there?” was repeated. I felt so low, but it definitely taught me a lesson…Mother is always right.