Gratitude

At one point in time I had a brief obsession with Veggie Grill. I couldn't get enough of their cheeseburgers and i'd go a few times a week to get a cheeseburger kids meal with sweet potato fries. The closest location I had access to is just off of Sunset Blvd in Los Angeles. Living in Los Angeles it is very unlikely that on a daily commute I do not pass at least...5 homeless people. Whether I am driving through downtown, catching a glimpse of Skid Row or walking Hollywood Boulevard, I am bound to come across someone, or many, who are less fortunate than myself.

On this trip to Veggie Grill, I picked up my food and decided to sit in my car to eat as I couldn't wait until I got home. As I began to eat, parked on the corner of Sunset & Ivar, I noticed an older woman sitting on her blanket and saying hello to everyone who walked past her. She didn't seem to be high or drunk, just simply sitting as the day passes. I watched a couple hand in hand, a kid on his skateboard and few others walk past her and completely ignore her simple hello. I admit I am often skeptical that if I were to give a homeless person money if they were to buy drugs or alcohol instead of food or essentials. I wondered what I could do to help this woman in more than just giving her a few dollars.

I often have a blanket or two kept in my trunk which I sometimes I question as to why, but I was about to find out. I had a pink fuzzy blanket that I bought for my room that I decided I no longer wanted so I kept it in my trunk to one day take to a thrift store. I put down my food, got out the car and asked her if she wanted a blanket. With this bright, pleasing look on her face she said "Yes!" with delight. I imagine her face beaming because someone finally acknowledge her. I pulled out this blanket and began to walk over to her and she jumped up in excitement and said to me, "Did you know pink was my favorite color? You must be an angel sent to me. Thank you!" With a warm heart I was more than happy to put that smile on her face. She asked to hug me and with no hesitation to that way she dressed, maybe smelled, no judgements whatsoever - we shared a moment that I cannot forget. I then got into my car and went about my day but not without a moment of tearful gratitude.

A few days later I returned with some friends for another food trip. I saw her sitting in the same spot this time without the blanket or any of the belongings she had before. I walked over and as she was sitting I asked her where her blanket was. She let me know that she was staying in a shelter down the street and her belongings were there but she could not stay there throughout the day and she would return after 6pm. She even offered to show me, but I believed her. In this moment I noticed I was standing over her. I didn't want her to feel that I was "superior" so I sat down with her and asked her her name and about her life. Marlene, Mrs. Marlene is what she asked me to call her. She had to be in her 50s, maybe older but I know to not ask a woman her age! When she was in her 20s, she modeled in New York and Los Angeles. After sometime in Los Angeles she found herself around the wrong crowd and began indulging in drugs that eventually lead her to where she was presently, living homeless in Hollywood. She was sober, she was happy and she was trying to better her life because she learned she was becoming a grandmother to her first grand daughter and wanted to be in her life.

After a brief conversation I asked if she was hungry and she said yes, for me to get whatever I wanted to buy her. So I did. I said my goodbyes and that I would see her the next time I stopped by. I didn't let her see the tears falling from my face as I walked away. That was the last time I saw Mrs. Marlene. Every single time I drive past that Veggie Grill I make a conscious effort to look for her. Sadly, and happily, I haven't seen her since that day. Sadly because I wanted to know more about her and help her to the best of my abilities but happily because deep down I hoped she was sober and found a way to be with her grand daughter. From then on, I make sure to have an extra blanket in my trunk and give them out to whom I see fit with the same feeling I had when giving to Mrs. Marlene, gratitude.