Grandpas Gift

Part One

FINALLY! Emerson exhaled as his eyes darted over his inbox, the email he had anticipated more then any other in his life had finally arrived! Without even clicking on the email Emerson knew by its subject - Welcome to Soar-Us Entertainment! - that he was about to get his big break in life. For years Emerson had ground away at life: he always struggled to hold down a job for more than six-month periods and his evenings were usually spent telling jokes on stage to ‘crowds’ of less then ten people. Life was not always kind to him nor was Emerson always kind to life. in fact, Emerson often used to proclaim to his small circle of friends that he was almost certainly cursed and nothing good would ever come to him. He swore that his life was meant nothing more then to be a tragedy - he never found a girl who understood him, and he believed his life was going to be a waste of good human organs.

Emerson, though very creative and of a brilliant mind, had many shortcomings when it came to applying himself and this would always cause him to somehow destroy whatever good managed to come into his life. Today though, his good news wasn’t just good news: indeed, if this wasn’t to be some cruel sick joke the words, Welcome to Soar-Us Entertainment meant many things to Emerson, but most of all it meant that he was about to taste success. Soar-Us Entertainment - the prestigious, world recognized talent agency, were known for their professionalism and ability to make 87 percent of the talent they scouted into millionaires within the space of two years of signing with the company.

With his fingers shaking and his breath filled with excitement Emerson begun to read through the email. Soar-Us Entertainment wanted him to do a comedy special that they would pay him the sum of twenty thousand dollars for, and Emerson could not believe his eyes! It was nine long years since he first performed on stage at the Wharf Hotel, a small hotel down by the dock that would only usually be inhabited by a handful of sailors. Thursday night was one of the more popular nights at the pub - stand-up comedy night. This is where Emerson first stepped into the world of comedy and found himself quite popular for the first time in his life. Emerson had tried many things in life: he loved football but was never blessed with talent, and he was never great in the academic department or a high achiever in school. What Emerson was blessed with was a quick-witted mind and creative sense of humor. He had the ability to stun his audiences and leave them in hysterics with his “who gives a shit” approach to life. Crowds always had and always would love Emerson Wentworth with a microphone in his hand but Emerson would never see it this way - he would always become highly critical of himself, and became overly analytical to the point where he would find a negative in any and every situation in life, especially when it came to himself. On this occasion, however, Emerson struggled to find any negativity. His break had arrived and he wanted to waste no time in putting together his most entertaining sixty minutes of humor.

There were no real methods to Emerson’s madness when it came to scribbling down material: he believed that comedy the best comedy you see in front of you in everyday life and the best way to relate this to people was to watch and take notes on what unfolds in front of you. Every time Emerson left his home to go out into the world, he would take with him a thick leather diary that had been given to him by his grandfather when he turned thirteen years old. No thirteen-year-old boy would be exactly thrilled to receive a leather diary as a birthday present, and with Emerson such a practical gift wasn’t to thrill him either: he absolutely hated receiving such a gift at thirteen years of age, so much so he put it in a box with all his childhood toys and left it in his parents shed to gather dust for the next eight years. By that time, Emerson’s parents were moving out of the childhood home in which he grew up and passed on the box to their now twenty-one-year-old son. The old, thick, 1000-page leather diary, after sitting in a box for eight years was finally put to use. Emerson began to take the diary everywhere with him and was rarely seen without it. When he was in public he would watch life unfold in front of him and when humor presented itself, he would pull out his leather diary that he called his little black book and write down what he saw happen in front of him. The little black book became filled over the years with what would be the life blood of Emerson’s hopes and dreams in life, all his jokes, what worked and what didn’t, what age-groups seemed to suit what types of material, and so-forth. Where Emerson lacked structure and detail is his everyday life, he made up for it in the little black book. Every letter, every word and every joke was neatly written out, and every joke had a rating out of five. Over the nine years of doing comedy, Emerson had filled up 974 pages of old leather diary his Grandfather had given him some seventeen years prior. The book meant more than life to Emerson. In his somewhat characteristic negative moods he would often become very critical but no matter how down and out Emerson felt, he would never say anything negative about his little black book - that old leather diary represented everything to Emerson.

Flicking around his office and rummaging through the mountains of old documents laying around the place, Emerson scurried over the room to find his little black book. Usually, Emerson would never let it leave his sight but every now and then his absent mind would cause him to forget where he had last left it, and in a panic he would turn his apartment upside down until it was found and he could be at ease again. Throwing paper onto the floor and opening up draws Emerson, started to feel a not so unfamiliar feeling: the feeling that no matter what happened for him in life, that something would always go wrong. He began cursing to himself and labeling himself as an idiot. The longer time the time he went without the book being found, the deeper Emerson’s frustration grew. He turned his small apartment upside down, but it was to no avail.

Emerson eventually succumbed to the reality he had lost his little black book.

Part Two

I hear all these parents these days talking about how proud they are of their kids for graduating primary school - like I’m sure my parents were proud of me for finishing primary school too, but when I was twenty-one years old - delivering pizza and smoking marijuana, my parents didn’t say we are proud of you for finishing primary school, they said “It’s time for you to move out - you’re costing us way to much money, and we want to be free to walk around the house naked!

Emily couldn’t help herself any longer - she burst out into laughter. These days, a smile on Emily’s face had become a rare sight. For a young lady, Emily was not only naturally beautiful, her inner beauty far out-did that of her looks. For some people in life beauty is everything, and having shiny long brown hair to go along with her mesmerizing brown eyes with naturally long lashes and European olive skin, there was no doubt that Emily was one of the most unique beauties that any person could lay eyes on. Most girls would love to look like Emily but for her, beauty had been nothing but a curse. Men would often become so hypnotized by Emily’s beauty they would look past her witty intelligence and her giant heart, which always had room to empathize with any person going through a tough time in life. Emily was an angel on earth, although so far in life she had only experienced hell on earth.

Earlier that day, after walking into her home to find her partner of five years sleeping with his tennis doubles partner, Emily packed a small bag of her most personal belongings, walked to the end of the street and hailed a taxi to her mothers home. In a short time, a taxi stopped, and Emily got into the back seat of the car to find this mysterious thick black diary sitting there. Curiosity got the better of her, and she opened the book up and began to read through it. The old thick black diary was almost like a Bible of humour to Emily, and despite an emotional rollercoaster of a day, she was found herself highly amused by the book’s contents.

With pages and pages of writing, it was clear to Emily that this book had some meaning for someone, and she was determined to find the owner of this little black book and meet the person behind the comedy written in its pages. Flicking through the book, there were no names to give her any idea of whom this book belonged to but there was a ten-digit phone number written in the back of the book. After deliberating over whether to just tell the driver of the taxi that someone had left behind their book or to call the number herself, Emily couldn’t resist dialing the number. After ringing out once, the second time Emily dialed, she received an answer on the other end. “Hello private number”, a frustrated Emerson answered in response to the call. Emily hesitantly responded “hello, sorry to ring you, but I found this black book in the back of a taxi and this number was written in the book”.

A deflated Emerson suddenly filled up with air, and with excitement yelped out: “You have my black book? You won’t understand this, random stranger, but I love you right now”. Emily laughed and replied back to Emerson “Well I don’t know if I love you, but I do love the jokes written in your book”. Emerson went on to explain to Emily how he had been doing comedy for years and he was finally about to get his big payday but had lost his black book. Quickly taking a liking to Emerson’s frank humor, Emily told him that the only way she would return to him his prized possession would be if he promised to take her along to his big gig as his special guest. Emerson, a bit taken aback, agreed that if Emily returned to him his book that he, in turn, would happily take her along with him to his comedy special.

The next day Emily returned to Emerson his little black book, and after thanking her profusely, and pouring over his beloved book once more, Emerson accepted Soar-Us Entertainment’s offer and was paid twenty thousand dollars for his special. Emerson Wentworth, a once no hoper, would finally change the way the stars aligned in life. His little black book had not only brought about his wealth and fame, it also brought to him the love of his life. Pondering to himself Emerson thought, maybe Grandpas present wasn’t so bad after all.