Good Reasons
Generational Gaps
According to vocabdictionary.com, a "good reason" means "a justification or explanation that is considered acceptable or valid." A further understanding: "A good reason is a logical basis or a righteous motive for making a decision or taking action. It implies that the reasoning is sound and can be universally accepted as appropriate."
Well, just call me a Boomer and paint me purple, will ya???
A recent misunderstanding with a grandchild (between 20 and 30 years old) led me to wonder if this was "trending" now in our world? I can't be the only one who is or has faced bewildering frustrations, can I?
I mean, I am a Boomer. I've always been "cool" "hip" "groovy," even!~In my generation there were sit-ins, peace signs, make love/not war signs, for goodness sakes.
But even if I nano-thought that my grandparents were out-of-touch or off-base in their old-fashioned ways, I never, in a million years would have dreamed of verbalizing that. Come on, that would have been right on up there with saying the Lord's Name in vain.
But there is absolutely no hesitancy in telling an elder to "blank-off" in today's world. And yes, it infuriates me, hurts me, and disappoints me. It's a very sad moral state.
This came to my attention several years ago when one of my grandchildren jokingly said, "OK, Boomer" to me. Apparently it was a "meme" common to their generation.
According to an MSN article, "there's a cultural gap. The "Okay, Boomer" meme, initially a dismissive retort to perceived out-of-touch opinions, evolved into a shorthand for a certain brand of generational disconnect. It encapsulates a frustration with what some see as a lack of empathy or understanding regarding contemporary issues like mental health, social justice, and environmental activism."
I don't see this trend as a cultural gap at all. Let's call it out for what it is, folks. It's called ageism. It's just as nasty as all those other isms out there, ok?
According to an article in Psychology Today, " Baby boomers are the focus of this antipathy and are commonly seen as in physical and cognitive decline and as no longer relevant."
I knew my children that quite naturally and normally, thought me to be somewhat "irrelevant," but it crushed me for my grandchildren to feel this way, too. Like the song from Mike and the Mechanics says, "every generation blames the one before..." But Boomers are double-whammed.
And by the way, for my grandkids, I just want to clarify: when I make a decision, *number 1: I don't need your permission and *number 2: if you don't want to believe the best in me (my motives,) then that's on you...because *number 3 I always have good reasons for my decisions that don't necessarily need your approval. I have no need to be "universally" appropriate. My values are intact.
But if you want to come at me with a right attitude, then we can have a great sit down and discuss my rationales if it will help your soul. I will support your greater understanding and growth and I will be open to learn, too. Remember: I love you no matter what you think about me!
From googling (not intentionally) AI said:
To understand how Boomers viewed their grandparents, consider the following points:
*Often saw them as wise and experienced figures in the family.
*Valued their stories and life lessons, viewing them as a link to the past.
*Appreciated their traditional values and strong work ethic.
*Viewed them as caregivers who provided emotional support and stability.
*Recognized their role in shaping family traditions and cultural heritage.
*Sometimes felt a generational gap in perspectives on modern issues.
(Maybe this is the way Boomers would like to be seen and treated, too! I know I would.)
About the Creator
Shirley Belk
Mother, Nana, Sister, Cousin, & Aunt who recently retired. RN (Nursing Instructor) who loves to write stories to heal herself and reflect on all the silver linings she has been blessed with :)
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Comments (8)
Preach Shirley! The respect for elders seems to be sorely lacking these days! You seem like you would be a Kool g-ma! 🫶🏾💕
I appreciate how you use research and references alongside personal experience. It grounds the discussion in context while maintaining a conversational tone.
This really resonated with me. Respect across generations shouldn’t be optional! Thanks for sharing.
Let me preface my comment by saying I may go off on a few tangents, but mostly I’m expanding on ideas from your essay. Certain terms like “traditional values” and “work ethic” sparked thoughts I’d like to share. Issues such as mental health, social justice, and environmental activism were brought forward by younger boomers (born 1955–1964) in the 1980s and 1990s. We started those conversations and raised awareness about many important topics. Today’s grandparents are younger in perception, more educated, and more aware than those of 50 years ago. As for “traditional values,” many from the 1940s and 50s carried prejudice and reinforced social hierarchies that relegated people to second-class status. Those values weren’t healthy, so it makes sense that educated youth challenge them. Most young people I see have a strong work ethic. Of course, every generation has some who don’t want to work, but that doesn’t mean they lack worth. Even those who struggle deserve love and value, and that’s where my views align with today’s youth: everyone deserves dignity. Some values should remain, like respecting elders—but even that should expand to respecting all people. We shouldn’t belittle others just because we disagree. Elders deserve consideration because our bodies slow down, but age doesn’t automatically make someone wiser. Honesty is a value I hold firmly. One lie leads to another, then to cheating, and eventually to crime or violence. The bottom line is that values evolve. As we become more educated, we recognize that gender, ethnicity, or wealth should never determine someone’s worth. That’s why I encourage all generations to question “traditional values.” Doing so makes society healthier and more compassionate. Like today’s youth, I’ve always questioned values. I remove the word “traditional” because it implies one group’s values are superior to another’s. Many people now identify as agnostic or atheist. I wonder if this reflects eroded values—or higher ones. Many have distanced themselves from religion because Christianity is often misused as a tool for division. I once heard a man say, “Empathy is a made-up word.” My thought was: all words are made up. Yet the Bible’s core teaching is to love all as God loves us. When that principle is ignored, it’s no surprise youth turn away. What I see in them instead is a commitment to equality, compassion, and ensuring everyone has love and a safe place to sleep. Shirley, thank you for your thoughtful essay. I enjoy responses like yours because they open dialogue, and we all learn from good communication. Blessings to you, and I hope you are doing well.
I'm a Millenial and I do feel that way about the Boomers sometimes. But I've never said that to them though. All I know is that, my generation and the ones after me have learned to question everything. Some Boomers aren't open to being questioned or explaining themselves. But I'm glad that you are open to it. But if they still don't agree, then it's agree to disagree, I guess. So there won't be any disrespect involved
Yayayayay! Respect. Elders are wise. The youngun’s don’t know it but they need our experience, expertise and wisdom. I love your story and it is RIGHT ON!!💕🤗👏❣️
This is very interesting, Shirley. There are several points here I want to touch on. But maybe being the boomer Caregiver I need to go away and get my mom up out of bed and make her breakfast. But I have highlighted a few points I want to try on. I will be coming back probably within the hour to comment further.
Well said Shirley. I want to blame the Internet. My kids are constantly spewing "facts" they learned from some YouTube video that prove I'm out of touch. However, I think my generation started it. I remember when my kids were young reading parenting articles that basically said "Don't trust your parents with your kids! Their ideas are outdated and dangerous!" I remember thinking how ridiculous that we would just disregard the wisdom of our parents because we've learned a few things they didn't know. The idiocy, of course, is that "we" didn't figure out those things. The boomers who were in the prime of their careers helped discover how we could more safely raise our children and then my generation claimed the knowledge as our own. In the process, we taught our children to have implicit bias against the older generation because we joked we were lucky to survive our parents dangerous ideas. On behalf of my arrogant generation, I am sorry we ruined your grandchildren.