Funniest Moments

I think over the years I have made friends with the funniest bunch of people. All of us probably won't ever choose comedy as a career, but I promise you, almost every conversation has me in tears from laughing so hard and vice versa. Even conversations out of context are funny and add just a different layer to all the relationships I have.

Just for fun, I wanted to share some of the funniest out of context moments of conversations with some of my friends, who have consented to letting me use some of our conversations for this piece.

Enjoy!

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Friend 2: You know what they say.

Me: What?

Friend 2: When something something something people, something something Friend 3.

Me: WHAT????

Friend 2: Idunno

Me: IM WHEEZING

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Me: So are we doing a full Marvel Marathon or can we skip some things

Friend 1: I mean Incredible Hulk we can definitely skip, but we have to watch the Spiderman stuff since it is canon

Me:.....

Friend 1: What?

Me: I hate Spiderman...

Friend 1:....what..? I've talked about Spiderman so many times!

Me: I know

Friend 1: Why have you never said you didn't like him??

Me: Idunno

Friend 1: (Proceeds to have a slight breakdown)

Me: (Laughs hysterically)

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Friend 1: Are you entering [insert contest]?

Me: No, I have to pay to enter.

Friend 1: Ugh, they never let us poor people win anything.

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Me: Should I have my drink?

Friend 2: Sure

Me: Ugh but I gotta get up

Friend 2: You have free will, just scoot on the floor and there you go

Me: (Laughs)

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Friend 1: Our first president was a general

Me: Who can sing very well if I might add!

Friend 1: BRUH STOP

Me: LMFAOO THIS IS HOW I COPE!

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Me: What if we started a podcast?

Friend 1: Who would even watch us dude?

Me: Idunno, but the more important question is, what do we call it?

Friend 1: Mmmmm…The Manic, Panic, Antics

Me: There's only two of us though

Friend 1: Don't forget the voice in our head!

Me: YOU'RE SO RIGHT!

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Friend 2: What to do, what to do

Me: Hmm?

Friend 2: To skibidi toilet or to sigma

Me: WHAT?! (Dies of laugher)

Friend 2: Yeah.

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Friend 1: I've mcfallen

Me: Huh

Friend 1: Brother I am done for

Me: Don't tell me you're pregnant

Friend 1: Ew no

Me: Okay good

Friend 1: LOL

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Friend 1: I look really cute today

Me: Ya ya ya! Gay for you! Not really though...we are just friends.

Friend 1: LOL! It's the potential that counts

Me: Yessirrr

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Friend 2: I found out my supervisor still doesn't have renters insurance

Me: Oh? Welp

Friend 2: Soooo arson? (Realized what they said) Also if anyone is outside my room, IT IS A JOKE!

Me: BAHAHAHAHA

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Friend 1: And then, one day I wanna take you to Miami! There's some cool places I wanna take you to! I loved it there!

Me: Yeah umm...I've been to Miami before...

Friend 1: ....what? You’ve never told me this! (Proceeds to cry)

Me: (Laughs hysterically)

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Me: What if...

Friend 1: What?

Me: I jump?

Friend 1: Do a flip when you do it

Me: BROTHER

Friend 1: IM KIDDING

Me: (Can't breathe)

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Friend 2: You should get your cat the cat backpack

Me: Y'know I have thought about it, not sure if she would like it though

Friend 2: Well, tell her to pussy up. Oh wait no, Meow Meow, MEOW

Me: (Completely loses it dying of laughter)

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Friend 1: Okayyyyyyy he kinda cute

Me: HE WAS SO SMOOTH WITH IT

Friend 1: OOP

Me: HOLY I DONT THINK IM READY FOR THAT RIGHT NOW IM NOT EMOTIONALLY GOOD TODAY OR TOMORROW...I'll see if he can do Friday tho...Maybe...No...I'm panicking at the disco

Friend 1: LOL

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Friend 1: Dude, so many people want to do a podcast with me

Me: HUH?? NO I HAVE BEEN BEGGING! WHO IS SO MANY PEOPLE?

Friend 1: (Lists off 2 people)

Me: You had me thinking it was a group of people! Two people other than me?

Friend 1: If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me to do a podcast with them, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird its happened three times right?

Me: ...I've had enough.

Friend 1: (Dies of laughter)

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Friend 2: When words fail….mmm skibidi toilet

Me: WHAT?? (Is currently dying of laughter)

Friend 2: Words are hard! So skibidi toilet.

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Friend 1: Orange?

Me: No

Friend 1: Red?

Me: Yeah

Friend 1: Yellow?

Me: No

Friend 1: Blue?

Me: Yes

Friend 1: Purple

Me: Definitely not

Friend 1: What do you meann??

Me: I hate purple

Friend 1:....what?

Me: Yeah no I hate purple!

Friend 1: I've had it! First Spiderman, then Miami, NOW THIS??? WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME THESE THINGS???

Me: You've never asked!! I let you talk about your stuff!! You like Spiderman, so I would listen to you talk about him. You enjoyed Miami, I let you talk about that. Purple is your favorite color, and you like getting things in the color! None of those things I like, but you're my buddy and I support your yapping!

Friend 1: AND NOW IM CRYING

Me: Brother (laughs hysterically)

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Me: What if we move to Canada?

Friend 1: Oop- I'm sure [boyfriend] would be more than thrilled

Me: I will be your maid!

Friend 1: BROTHER

Me: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME HOMELESS????

Friend 1: LMFAOOOO

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Me: Yeah you tan that skin with lights

Friend 1: HEYYY STALKER IM WHEEZING

Me: I HAVE TO DO IT ONCE SINCE YOU HAVE DONE IT LIKE FIVE SEPARATE TIMES

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Me: I'm veiling right now. Like last year.

Friend 2: Oh?

Me: Some cultures and religions do it differently, but for me it's a sometimes thing. It's just a form of protection until the holiday.

Friend 2: It’s only for your hair right?

Me: Yeah

Friend 2: So, since you just need to cover your hair, can't you use a tinfoil hat?

Me: WHAT?!

Friend 2: I meannn!! It still gets the job done no?

Me: (Dies of laughter)

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Me: Zooming in on that picture I see

Friend 2: Yeah, I just wanted to see how it was colored

Me: Ooo

Friend 2: Well, the drawing itself wasn't particularly good. Well, it was drawn by a child. Well, I don't know if they're a child just young. Well, they're younger, I don't actually know how old they are. Just young enough where you can tell.

Me: That progression was hysterical!

Friend 2: Skibidi

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Friend 3: And the headset I sent is 25 beans

Me: My next paycheck or paycheck after I might get it

Friend 2: ^^^^^^^^

Me: But for now I wanna see how it is without it cuz remember I gotta buy the games dude. $40 a month is a lot and I don't make that much brother

Friend 2: Exactly. I'm thinking specifically for them to spend the absolute LEAST

Me: Yeah and I gotta budget...EHHHHH...

(A bit later)

Me: BROTHER SENT ME $11 FOR THE HEADSET LMFAOOOOOO

Friend 3: Merry Christmas, GET IT

Friend 2: He just called you poor

Me: IM WHEEZING I KNOW

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Friend 2: I had the most weirdest dream ever

Me: What was it about?

Friend 2: Went to H-Mart with friends, but I was trying to find this specific drink and I could not for the life of me find it. I asked a worker for help and they said due to the tariffs that they stopped carrying all Asian products.

Me: Huh?

Friend 2: Yeah! It went from H-Mart to Walmart and I was pissed.

Me: STOP (Wheezing)

Friend 2: THEN! I asked my friend to just drive us back to campus and there was this black cat in the car. I asked if it was theirs and they said no, so I pick the cat up and put it outside the car. We were stationary when I kicked the cat out so it was fine.

Me: (Laughs)

Friend 2: But when I picked this cat up, it scratched me on both of my thumbs and I panicked. I told my friend I need to go to the hospital to get tested for rabies and she said no. I'm panicking more and call my mom and tell her what happened and to come get me to take me to the hospital and she said "I'm doing my taxes right now, the agent is at the house I can't leave" and I panicked more. Eventually she does come pick me up and take me and I tell her to tell the people at the hospital that I need to be tested for rabies. I see a nurse testing someone else for rabies and I tell her I've been scratched by a random cat and need to be tested and she looked at me and said, "Mmm, no". TF YOU MEAN NO?!!

Me: (Tears are flowing from laughter)

Friend 2: Then I woke up. My class was canceled and I can't go back to sleep.

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Thank you for reading! <3