Forgiving my Father

Like many others my father was not always the father I needed him to be, but the Lord has been taking me down road that are leading me to forgive him. Not just for my Father's sake, but for mine. Jesus says in Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you." Unforgiveness also plants roots of bitterness that hurt no one but myself.

God also started to show me my Father in a more human light. See for years my family had declared him the root of all our issues and demonized him. However, the more I looked into the past and asked God why certain things happened, and asked where he was in these situations the more I saw that my Dad was just as scared and confused as we were. He was trying, but was robbed of the skills he needed to handle life because of generational curses and lack of a father in his life. Theses realizations lead to this revelation and poem titled Forgiving my Father.

Father,

I forgive you. I now see you with new eyes. Your demons torment you, and tormented me to multiply, It was not you. I do not hate you like I once did. My anger has turned to sorrow. You to where once free, then sin trapped you. Satan came for your only pride, then strangled it till you almost died. He kept you alive to try and kill us to. I Blamed you, but now I see, you're a victim to. I love you. Forever I thought I could leave you, but now I want to save you. I can't come home yet. My heart isn't strong enough yet, but my sprit believes I can one day. Father, I promise you, When I finally do, I'm coming as a sword to slaughter your demons to. God is with me. He wants you, and sees you. I placed myself higher than you, I thought myself different, but Satan plays tricks. He's fueled by hate, He planted that seed in you, then me. It was allowed to rise in us, and strangle ourselves and others we love. But this is my declaration. To end the hate and abuse, and love you. Love set me Free, and it will set you Free to.

I know choosing to forgive our parents can feel like the most unrealistic task, but it is the most necessary. I know many people wait for years for an apology, or even and acknowledgement of the pain your parents put you through. However, you can not wait on someone else to start your healing journey with Jesus. You can not control what other people say or do, so the best thing to do is make the first move. Take the steps to start to forgive your father. You may never get an apology or an acknowledgment of your sufferings, but that doesn't mean you are unseen.

God still sees you and hears you. God never wanted you to be hurt by your father, that was never his intention. Satan just sucks and has his hands and his little buddies in everything on this earth, including your father. When we start to see our parents not on a pedestal and see them as human who were just trying their best, or that are living out of their own wounds, we do not diminish the pain of what happened or justify what happened. We start to see the why it happened, and see the real enemy. When we stop and realize that our "evil" dads were once innocent babies, and had demons and other things influencing their lives, we can see the enemy is not the person but the demons that have hurt them.

So now I pray. I pray that my father finds freedom, and that he calls on the name of the Lord and is saved. That he will learn his identity in Christ and becomes the man he was designed to be. I pray for whoever reads this, that the wounds on your heart start to heal, and that you don't shelter your heart from God the Father because your image of Father was distorted. I pray that you have the strength to start to forgive your father for what he has done, and that you are able to see your identity in Christ more clearly because of it. I pray that you have eyes to see people as they where before the hurt and pain, and that you will see with eyes of mercy, grace, and love. I pray that your soul be made whole and all cracks come together as you seek Jesus. I bless you in the name of Jesus and I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.