Float, Little Creature

Breathe. Stop shaking. You're calm.

Though her mother couldn't tell, for lack of observation more so than Flo's unimpressive facade, she was far from calm. Of course, her mother had no reason to suspect. She busied herself among the various flower arrangements, occasionally leaning in to take a sniff at one with no discernible discrimination. Flo barely noticed they were at a florist.

"Are lilies too obvious?"

Flo didn't respond.

"Flo!"

She spun around to face her mother.

"Hmm?"

Her mother frowned. "I said are lilies too... God, you're sweating, honey."

Flo wiped her forehead aggressively with her sleeve. "Am I?"

Her mother glided over and placed the back of her palm against her now faintly pink forehead.

"Do you feel ill? I think you're a little warm."

Though it would do Flo no good if her mother inferred nerves from the sweat, it still bothered her how little she could read her own daughter. Flo gently brushed her mother's hand away.

"Yeah, I feel a little warm. I might wait outside."

"Okay, darling. Have you been drinking water?

When? Flo thought to herself, with no tap or water bottle in sight.

"I'll drink water when we get home."

"No, I think you should get some water now, there's a shop across the road. Remember we're seeing the Lee's after this?"

A huge knot tightened in Flo's chest at the mention of the Lee's. Luckily her mother continued, oblivious.

"Oh, you know what? I won't be long here, save the money. I'll just tell them you're ill when we get there, they'll set you up somewhere with a glass of water and some Panadol."

"Uhhh no! Don't rush, I'll go to the shops now." Flo headed for the door before her mother could argue.

Breathe. Stop shaking. You're calm.

One step at a time, she made her way to the convenience store. The cold air inside didn't help with her shivering; she tucked her arms together tightly to stop the uncontrollable movement. For a long moment she forgot entirely what she was doing there. When she remembered, she realised she had made her way to the cold water section on autopilot. She then continued to stand there staring, wondering what kind of water she should buy when she was startled by her mother.

"Mum!" Flo snapped.

"Flo? Goodness, you're a million miles away! What are you doing? Oh, you're definitely ill. I'll let Megan know we'll be late, I'm taking you home first. You really didn't need to come at all, I didn't think you were that close to Damien in school."

Her mother had already grabbed a bottle of water and collected a packet of paracetamol off the shelf without even stopping on her way to the counter.

"I'm fine!" Flo piped up, trying not to sound overly eager, because that too would be hard to explain. "Really, I'm here now, I feel like I should show my face."

Her mother thanked the server, then gave Flo a stern look.

"Thanks," Flo murmured, taking the purchased items off her mother and obediently taking the unnecessary medication.

"You're right, they'll appreciate it I'm sure."

And with that, her mother marched out to her parked car with her nervous wreck of a daughter in tow. Flo buckled herself in and noticed the quaint bouquet her mother had picked laying in the backseat. Her mother truly had impeccable taste. In fact, her mother possessed almost every womanly quality Flo lacked: elegance, grace, modesty, warmth. It was difficult not to resent the woman, except that Kimi had never erred in a meaningful way in her 20 years as Flo's mother. Any resentment Flo directed at her mother was, as she was painfully aware, a projection of her own inadequacies.

The drive to the West side of town was pleasant at this time of day, few cars busied the roads and the river could be seen for most of it. Flo tried her best to seem engaged by the scenery as she spent the entire drive digging her nails into her palms. Perhaps she shouldn't have come after all. She didn't know a heart could beat so hard and fast.

By the time her mother parked neatly in front of the Lee's residence, Flo was convinced she was going to throw up. Her mother placed a delicate hand on her daughter's shoulder, gave her a reassuring (or possibly pitying) nod, and exited the car, bouquet in hand. Flo took a deep, shaky breath, and followed her dignified mother to the front door.

The friendly tap-tap on the wood seemed jarring and abrupt, as though Kimi would warn Flo before knocking. Within moments, Mrs Lee opened the door to say some type of greeting, to which Kimi no doubt responded to with warm condolence. Flo was sure of it. But she hadn't heard a single word. What she absolutely wasn't expecting was Sam paused on their way down the staircase, making direct eye-contact with her. Nothing else in the world existed.

Breathe. Stop shaking. You're... hopeless.