Flames & Flowers: Feeling Freedom

Prologue: Fleeing // Escape

The fires had persisted for six days before I decided to move on. I was living in constant fear, with nausea in every inch of my body, watching everything I had ever known burst into flame and slowly turn to dust. I am still in fear, and without a home, but at least I am not watching my home burn.

I had found refuge on the hill, and I burrowed into the ground like an animal. I knew that I wasn’t safe, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. On the first day, I still had hope that I would find others who had escaped; but that hope dwindled more & more, until I accepted the reality around me. I wasn’t just watching my home burn... everyone I had ever known was caught in those flames. While watching our crops turn to ash, I realized that my father was probably down there as well, being licked by flames and devoured by the heat.

When I escaped the fire, all I could think of was running; all I could focus on was my bare feet on the ground. I felt like I was in a dream. I was running as fast as I could, while I felt like I was being pulled back into the flames; but really, it was the flames catching up to me, surrounding me with each step.

I don’t remember how I made it out. One moment, the flames were all around me, and the next, I was clambering up the hill –hands, feet & knees bloody from the climb. When I caught my breath and turned to see the devastation that lay behind me, I collapsed. The thought of escaping was gone from my mind, and every other thought came flooding back; but the only one I could grasp was, FAMILY!

I set my feet back to running, and before I knew it, I found myself tumbling down the hillside. My knees were in my chest, then scraping against rock; my face slid on the ground, and my arm was caught behind me. Suddenly, I was on my feet again, racing toward the flames I had just outrun. Then, my legs stopped moving.

I was standing on the edge of the field, or was it the middle? All I knew is that I had descended the hill that surrounded the valley of where my home had always been. All I could see were flames around me, some parts higher than others, where the orange, red & yellow arms eased their way around the walls & roofs of homes I had once known. I tried to take another step, but my body wouldn’t move. I had raced away to escape the flames, and raced back to save my home & my family; but I couldn’t take another step. The fire was creeping closer to where I stood when I saw something strange through the flames. It was a person. Amongst the uncertainty & confusion of that moment, I knew I couldn’t be wrong. It was a person.

I took a breath so I could shout out to him, but my lungs filled with smoke and I choked on the ash all around me. I was about to raise my arms to wave, but I couldn’t move an inch. When I finally found the ability to make myself known to the figure lost in flames, I stopped myself. Why does he look so calm? I thought. What is he holding in his hands? Why isn’t he running? Before I could contemplate those questions any more, an instinctual fear crept throughout my very being, and my body began to run away, again.

My heart was crying out to me, Turn back! Save them! But I couldn’t. I was falling up the hill again, my feet running without my permission. Then, I found myself back on the hill where I had stopped before, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around. I stood there, facing a rock that was buried in the hillside. I rested my forehead on the cool stone to catch my breath, and watched my tears create a puddle in the sand by my feet.

There were too many emotions to hold onto, so I turned to anger. My hand clenched into a fist, and I found myself punching the rock in front of me. My hand was bloody, and screaming with pain, but I just couldn’t stop. I kicked & punched, until my feet fell out from under me. I slid down the stone wall now behind me, huddled into a ball and grasped my knees as if they might start to run again.

I wept. I screamed. I cried –unaware of any danger that might come from that. I cursed into the air, spat at the flames, and cried myself into a sleepless nightmare.

To continue reading Flames & Flowers: Feeling Freedom (Chapters 1 - 10), contact me at [email protected].