February 14th — a day to hide under the covers?

Ok so I know it sounds like I’m being a misery but if you’re not in love and you don’t have a significant other who brings light to your life, this day only serves to remind us we are once again not part of the celebrations doesn’t it?

And even if you do have someone special in your life the expectations on this day are huge and we want to receive a special declaration of love

It’s hard to ignore the mountain of overpriced red roses and colourful bouquets next to teddy bears holding balloons ‘for the one I love’ on display just inside the entrance to your local supermarket

Giant cards filled with poems.

Candlelit dinners, proposals, diamonds, perfume.

Town Centre shop window displays, adorned with red and pink hearts. Cupid with his arrow upon a fluffy cloud. And just in case visitors from outer space still aren’t sure as to what time of year it is, giant, shiny letters spelling out the words L O V E and V A L E N T I N E should be the final clue they need

It’s all there to promote love and romance and hopes for a happy ever after, But what if all it serves to do is highlight a lack. Of love, of being loved?

I have been guilty in the past of getting annoyed on Valentine’s day and loudly stating to my son who lived with me at the time ‘I refuse to buy my own perfume!’ sounding more like a moody teenager than my 50 something self! It’s a ridiculous thing to get cross about, isn’t it? yet every year February 14th highlights more than any other day the lack of a lover in my otherwise happy, busy, fulfilling life. As well as the lack of perfume left in the bottle!

It is maybe an outdated view, but breaking news, I didn’t burn my bra! I am independent, strong and I’m not afraid to speak my mind! But it doesn’t stop me from wanting a door being held open for me and a special someone to buy me a fragrance!

I’m happy by and large with my lot, so why does it affect me? and countless other singletons I’m sure. Could it be that all my other insecurities come back to haunt me? I’m overweight for a start, berating myself that it’s why I can’t meet anyone. My article ‘is it possible write yourself thin’ highlights just what I feel on a daily basis

“One thing you can’t hide is when you’re crippled inside.” — John Lennon

I also can’t help but think of the lonely people, those who are recently bereft of a loved one, of a relationship; having spent days in the same clothes, forgetting to eat, sobbing late into the night and then finding the courage to venture out after weeks of hiding themselves away. What do they feel? When they hear the words of love, seeing people laugh, hugging? Swept away in the moment of feeling that delicious delirious love hormone, oxytocin

“Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting — it’s us.” ― Alana Stewart

Does it really matter? if others are being given gifts of love and I’m not? Feeling envy towards the lover being gathered up into their partner’s arms Annoyance that others are fortunate, more deserving even, of the very thing I don’t have

Social media, TV, radio, there is no escape on this special day

Even those in relationships don’t always want to celebrate the day though. Try as they might to give a valid reason as to why they haven’t forked out a week’s wages on a bunch of flowers and a heart-shaped box of chocolates to show their love — stating ‘We tell each other every day so what’s the difference?’ and ‘it’s a waste of money, a gimmick designed to line the retailer’s pockets’ is met with a disapproving look, usually from those of us still cross at not being given perfume!

So should we instead just embrace February 14th? Be happy for those feeling the love and let it go? Try to see past the fact we are not invited to the party

Inspiration and motivation may come from others, but true inspiration comes from within. Catherine Pulsifer

We can only be inspired as much as we allow ourselves to be.

“Every time we have a thought, we make a chemical. If we have good thoughts, we make chemicals that make us feel good. And if we have negative thoughts, we make chemicals that make us feel exactly the way we are thinking.” — Joe Dispenza

It occurred to me as I was writing this article that actually it would be far more beneficial to the soul if I embraced Valentine’s day. Fancy that! I did shudder a bit, but it makes sense given that I agree with Joe that we create our environment from the thoughts we have, as Andy Murphy explains in his article.

If we take inspiration from others happiness then it’s possible we can manifest it for ourselves and maybe next Valentine’s Day we won’t be alone under the covers!