Everything Happens For A Reason

The day of the accident is a day that will never be forgotten. Five years later I still cant get her off my mind. She was everything. She was my first date, my first kiss, my last love. Death is a grim truth. We are mere mortals pretending to live forever. Patience is a virtue but god I miss you. Here I am patiently waiting for god to strike me down. Here I am waiting to see your face again. I wake up empty. I go to the same job that took every minute I had with you and cut it in half. I just don't have the courage to end it. God please give me the courage.

I sit in this empty bar. The same empty little bar we filled with love. The same empty little bar we shared our first dance. That table right there. James was here still written in big bold letters. God you used to laugh so hard. You were so full of life. The looks you would give me when my jokes crossed a line. We knew every bartender and waitress by name. Now they hardly even look at me. I see them. They want to tell me it will all be ok, but will it? As the drinks flow through me like blood in my veins. reality slowly fades away.

Another night in this place. God please let tonight be the night. Who would have guessed drinking yourself to death to so long. One shot in and I can almost smell your perfume. That infectious laugh. Slowly turning I realize its not you. She sits down at the bar. Long blonde hair perfectly falling down her back. Her soft pail skin perfectly kissed by the sun. I was so lost in her beauty I didn't even notice she was looking this way.

Slowly walking towards me she extends her hand. "Hey I'm Meg." she says.

" I'm James, what brings you here tonight? I've never seen you around." I ask her as my hand slowly grabs hers. She wears the same perfume you used to wear. God I miss you.

" I'm new to the area. I just moved here from Portland. This is just such a quiet little spot I had to stop in." Meg exclaims as she lets out a soft hushed laugh.

That laugh she reminds me so much of you. What am I doing? I need to go home. I swore I would never forget you. She quickly changes the subject bouncing with joy, " Are you the James was here James"! Meg says with a big smile across her face.

My eyes drawn down toward the table top. "Yes, that would be me as well." I wrote that what seems like a lifetime ago. Back when our life seemed like it would last forever.

"Well can I sit with you?" She asks, as if she was leaving me any room to say anything other than yes. How do I respond? I'm sorry Meg I'm still madly in love with my girlfriend who died five years ago.

"Sure." I say, as I stand to pull up a chair. "Portland huh? What brings you all the way to New York?" I ask. Humoring her company with small talk.

"I just needed a fresh start. Portland is a beautiful place but it just didn't feel like home anymore. I actually had no plan when I left. Just a series of highways and well here I am! You know what they say everything happens for a reason." Meg says letting out a semi sarcastic laugh. "What about you? What brings you to such a lively place on a Tuesday?" Meg asks with the same mischievous almost backhanded smile you used to give me.

What should I tell her? Honestly. How do I tell her; well meg I'm sitting here in this lonely little bar feeling sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for my loss. I just don't seem to have the strength to move on with my loss. She gently grabs my hand, like a mother holding her newborn child. "It's ok, we can talk about something else. What's your middle name?" She says with a big bright smile.

As the words begin to process I let out a hushed laugh. "Michael, my middle name is Michael, and yours?"

"Alaina! How was that for an ice breaker? Meg asks, as she presses her lips against her glass of merlot. Her glass stained with the dark red lipstick she wears.

The minutes of conversation turn into hours. I can feel a deep emotional connection as if this girl understands me down to my soul. I don't have to speak a single word of you she just simply understands my pain. Color slowly seems to be pulling back into my life with every minute that passes. Each word spoken slowly rewriting the novel that is my life. A connection is made. One by one this empty little bar become emptier, until we are the last occupied table. I'm so lost but not the way I was lost when I first walked in tonight. For at least this moment, I'm lost in the future.

Meg finishes her glass of merlot and places her glass the table. "Can I see you again?" She asks.

Lost in her words I realize in a city with so many lights and people. So many lives going on around us. Here we are two lost souls. Bound on a journey without a destination together for the time being. "I would like that very much." I tell Meg.

Meg reaches across the table and grabs my phone. "Call me sometime." She says as she hands back my phone.

We stand up from the table, the last two patrons in the quiet little bar, and make your way to the door. We walk through the door her hand in mine. I hail a cab and open the door as she steps inside. She looks at me with eyes so full of life and color as the lights from the building radiates off her skin. I bend down towards her and give her a single kiss on the cheek. "You know its true I think."

With a look of confusion on her face Meg asks, "what's true?"

As I close the door to the cab I say to her. "Everything happens for a reason."