Emotional

£20,000. That was how much you were worth to this world. No one to remember you but me. You said it would be okay, yet father might have been right. He said this world was terrible yet we pushed him away, we betrayed his trust. I wanted to stop you, but you looked so happy. You looked the best I have ever seen you. I thought it would be okay, but your dead now.

I walk towards my desk, open the drawer, and pull out the little black book I stored there. I open the page and look down at the scribbled words you left me. ‘live your life to the fullest.’ What did you mean by that? How do I live my life? What does it mean to live a life? I want to understand you I want to talk to you, yet your gone now.

RINGGGGGG. I turn around startled by my phone I walk over and pick it up. A picture of me and my friend hugging covered the screen. David always had the biggest smile all the time. He is always happy and never let anything get him down. “Adam! Are you ready for the fun fair!” he screams down the phone as always and I hold my phone a little way from my ear. Today's the day we go to the funfair together. He planned out an entire day for the two of us. I never liked going to these things but today I decided to try it out. It might happen at the fun fair for all I know.

“get ya candy floss” a bulky man behind the stalls was holding some candy floss swinging it around trying to get people attention. The stand was amazing and was coloured in vibrant colours and lights which illuminate the stand. It was honestly such a spectacle. David’s eyes lit up when he saw it. The man at the stand voice was dying, you could tell. He stops every so often to cough and his voice was incredibly scruffy. He looks like he was ready to give up from no one buying his candy. “he’s definitely frustrated” David was looking over my shoulder at the man. He looks at me, nods his head, and drags me over. “two cotton candies please” he looked up at the massive man and his frown turned into an even bigger smile than David. He whipped up the candies in an instance and handed them both to us. David took a massive bite and a smiled covered his face. He ate even faster until the candy was all gone. “that was amazing sir!” he shook his hand and looks at me. “did you not like it, Adam?” he kept looking at me as a ate the candy silently. “Do you not want to scream when you eat it?.” I did not understand what he meant but I gobble down the candy and look up at him. “so, it was so good that you had to eat it silently I see, that makes sense.” well then let's go to the haunted mansion and get our spook on!.”

“welcome to the mansion” a voice was playing from a speaker behind a pumpkin. I look up at the house and it was a massive black house. It was designed to look creepy I assume; it was well done. They paid attention to a lot of the details and it looks fun. I want to see what is inside and it has such an interesting look to it. I look over to David and he stared wide-eyed at the house. “maybe we shouldn’t do this you know.”

“but it looks interesting I want to learn more about it” he looked at me with a look saying am I crazy but he reluctantly agreed to it and we walked in together. The house was interesting and well-made, the costumes were cool, and it was good to looked. After we came out the other side David was on the verge of tears hugging close to me. He looks up at me and shouts “why aren't you scared Adam! Do you not get scared easily or something like come on you like a robot?”

“I'm going home Adam” I ran away before Adam could catch me or say anything. While Adam is very sporty, I am just a lot faster and stronger than him. My teacher said I was ‘blessed from god.’ I kept on sprinting till I got back to my house, no breaths were taking, and I silently walked back to my house. I dint know why I ran back but u just did. I sat on my bed silently. Please. Please, just one. Just one tear.

I sat there with my face completely dry like usual. Why. Why cant I just cry this once. What if I am a robot. What if David is right. What if I have always been one? I jumped off my bed and scrabbled towards my kitchen. It was dirty, dishes were stacked up, eggs were broken in all corners off the room and the fridge door hanging on by a single screw. This was my life. But if I am human, it is fine. This is just a part of living that life.

I grabbed a knife from the sink. I pull up my sleeve and place the knife point on my hand. The blade was cold as it pushed into my skin. There was feeling. I cant be a robot, right? I pushed the knife even further down my arm blood gushed out and covered the knife. I looked at the dark red liquid that covered my arm and the pain that came with. It felt…. Amazing, so many feelings, I finally feel a little a human. I kept slashing at my arms I did my legs I did everywhere. My body was covered in blood. This deep dark red liquid. It feels great, it feels so, so invigorating. I am a human.

Everything went black.

“Adam, Adam wake up” Evie whispered to me across the room. She was 12 years old currently. She was incredibly short and was shy currently. She sat there under her covers her blue eyes illuminated the dark room we were in. I was knocked out from the loss of blood. This was a dream or something like a flashback. My brain is remembering the past. The past of Evie and father.

“Adam todays the day, let us look around the building. Its massive but we only ever get to go to certain places. So lets explore a little while father’s gone.” She laid there staring at me with a big grin. She was so excited to do this. So excited to disobey fathers rules. But we were never told we were not allowed to explore at night. All the forbidden places are locked so we wont get in anyway. That is what I thought anyway. We both jumped from our beds slipped into our slippers and walked out of our room. We looked left and right sneaking around the building. We did not have a problem the whole time. All the forbidden places we wanted to look at were locked just as I expected so We will not break any rules.

That was before that door appeared. It was a massive door almost triple our size at the time. The door was covered in a wooden pattern of a snake. It was amazing how well crafted it is. The snake wrapped round the door and looked almost inviting. Evie felt the same way as me and walked over. She pulled on the door. It opened. As she pulled a low creaking sound broke the silence as the door scraped across the floor. The door stood open and what stood there was nothing more than a tree. It was a tall black tree which was dead. It had no leaves or greenery in general. It just stood there tall and swinging. Evie walked over to the tree and looked around it. She bent down and picked up the little black book. At the time I did not know what it was but now I know. The book that changed it all. The book that made her human.

Evie read that book everyday. It was a small black book yet it took her so long to read it. The longer she smiled for the bigger her smile would get. She would start to avoid father and go off and do her own thing. She got more disobedient every day and started to act on her own. Me or father did not understand why he was doing this. Then one day father asked me, he said do you know the reason Evie was acting like this. I whispered to him about the book. I told him where we found it and the next look my father gave me was one of terror. He walked out the room almost sprinting. He barged his way into our room and grabbed Evie. He started shouting for hours. By the end of it Evie was crying on the floor. I stood there shocked. I did not know what was going down her eyes. Water was coming out. I did not understand.

I tugged on father’s sleeve and he looked at me and understood at once. He always understood. It was just like always. Father raised us together since we were both babies. He raised us to perfection as he liked to say. He taught us so much and we lived what he said was an amazing life. Father said if we obeyed him nothing bad would ever happen to us ever. He said to always listen to his word. There were some places in the house which were forbidden, places father said we must wait when we are older. The one place father told us we must never go at all was that room. That room we went into.

My son, your sister has made a grave mistake. She has disobeyed me and has become something not even I can undo. As he talked to me his anger faded, all that was left was sadness. He turned back towards Evie and asked how much she has read, when Evie said she is read the book multiple time he just shook his head and looked defeated. I did not understand at the time but the more I thought about father I did not understand his goals. The day after father asked Evie if she would like to travel and live in the outside world alone. Evie agreed in an instance and then he looked at me. He asked me if I would like to join her, I wanted to say no. The more I thought back to that day the more I wondered if my life would have been better. If staying with father was the right choice. I told father I would like to join her to understand what change in her. He stared at me for a couple seconds and tears rolled down his eyes. He turned from us and sent us away without uttering another word.

Evie died a short while after this. It was sudden. She died because something called emotions controlled her. People said she was the nicest person they ever met. They described her as the perfect human. I could never grasp these emotions and now I live alone in this world. Just like a robot. I do not know how to live my life but with this money I got from Evie’s death I live on and find my emotions. Yet I cannot help but to remember Father’s words. Father's beliefs in this world. The phrase I heard him say before we left. The belief that may be right or wrong with no way to tell.

That emotions are the corruption of humanity.