Eighteen, for the first time

One night after self-study, we went for a walk hand in hand on the big playground and somehow talked about something other than hugging and kissing. It was dark and no one could see the expression on each other's faces. We were coy, but we pretended to talk openly about things that were hazy to us. That day, we talked very late, until back to the dormitory, my heart is still pounding. My little heart seems to have buried the seeds of curiosity, desperately want to sprout the soil. I think, beam son perhaps also so, just he is shy, will not say. The next day, I had lunch with him as usual. Sitting face to face, we are a little embarrassed, coincidentally laugh out loud, and at the same time asked each other how. After a moment of silence, is the heart of the eye. A thought occurred to me and I whispered, "On my 18th birthday, let's spend the night together. I want you to help me with My Bar Mitzvah." His face flushed, red from ear to forehead. I looked at him, heart warm, to the arrival of the 18-year-old full of holy feeling.

Three months before the college entrance examination, my 18th birthday. I took a serious bath at home, put on the new clothes, call Liang Zi, asked if he was ready. He was panting so hard that he stuttered a little. I arrived at the meeting place, Liang Zi was already waiting for me, he is also a new clothes. He looked at me, and I looked at him, smiling unnaturally. None of us said a word. We put our pocket money together and spread it out one by one. Everything looked very serious. Liang Zi nervously buried his head in the money, I looked at his forehead perspiration, the heart suddenly like electric shock general, accelerated jump up. With the money in one hand and me in the other, we slipped into a hotel like thieves. His hands were sweating and my palms were wet. When I checked in, I hid with my back to the counter for fear that the waiter would see on my ID that I was just over 18. Finally successfully paid the money, took the room card, into the temporary belongs to the two of us in the room. As soon as enters the room, the beam son rushes into the toilet, then spreads“Splashes splashes” the sound of water, is impinging on my eardrum very forcefully. I sat on the edge of the bed, involuntarily pinching the collar, heart like a small rabbit like jumping. My face burned with the thought of what was about to happen. ... But ten minutes later, we checked out. Things did not go as we had expected . Beam out of the bathroom when crying, I do not know what happened, rushed over. He held me tightly in his arms and said incoherently, “Smoke, let's go back... I don't want to hurt you... we... We still have to take the college entrance examination...”

He had his back to me, and I dressed in silence behind him. Dressed, we left the hotel. My 18-year-old Bar Mitzvah came to a dramatic end. Later, we are still holding hands in the playground, walking, laughing, but who no longer mention those things. Many years later, I suddenly remembered the back of Liang Zi in the hotel. The back that I watched silently when I put on my clothes, from that moment on, it was no longer the back of a boy, but the back of a man ーー the beam started from the moment waiting for me to put on my clothes, he was acting out his commitment to me and his responsibilities as an 18-year-old man.