Dry Spell

Olivia Parker was sick of solo living. She tried a few dating sites but it was the same people over and over. Who didn't have mommy issues, daddy issues, abandonment issues, childhood traumas, narcissism, alcoholism… oh the list was endless. She even met someone who lied to her and failed to mention he was living under house arrest. She took a year off and decided to discover who Olivia was and find the love of herself again. She traveled, went to concerts, took up new crafting projects and learned how to bake. But the one thing she missed was someone to share all of that with. "Once more and that's it!” Olivia said to herself as she set up a new profile.

She made sure she was super thorough and listed as many details as possible in an effort to be up front. One thing Olivia found out, the more you write, the less guys read it and the more they just click on a pretty face. Most of the time, they don’t even have anything in common or check off any of your well laid out boxes. After 2 weeks of scrolling, swiping in various different directions and reading endless profiles, she found a potential match. "Agape1983. Not quite an original screen name but he's good looking I suppose." Olivia was surprised to read actual biographical content. Comparatively speaking, some of the previous people she scrolled past were pictures of men holding a fish and their super deep bio stated, "I like to fish." Agape had more to offer and to read which was quite refreshing. By the end of the bio, Olivia was interested in at least starting communication and he responded right away much to her surprise.

After a long conversation, Olivia found out his name was Kyle Masters, he was 38 years old, grew up one town over from Olivia, works as a software engineer and did not like to fish. On the surface Kyle was everything Olivia was looking for. “How does Tuscan Grille inside the Metropolitan Hotel at 8pm on Saturday sound?” asked Kyle. “I’ll make the reservations for us if that’s ok.” “That sounds great,” Olivia replied. “I haven’t been there in ages.” “See you then,” Kyle concluded.

Tuscan Grille is known for their quality food but in a casually formal atmosphere. While jeans and T-shirts aren’t looked upon fondly, getting a little dressier is more desired. Knowing this and wanting to make a good impression, Olivia slowly forms a pile of things she declared the “no pile.” In an effort to look just right, she decided to Facetime her best friend, Maren. After 10 wardrobe changes and a bottle of merlot later, Olivia finds this adorable red dress in her closet. “I finally have a reason to wear this,” Olivia thought to herself and Maren agreed it was the cutest thing in her closet.

Over the course of the following 3 days, Olivia and Kyle begin to have good conversations. He seems sincere, kind and funny with a decent job he seems to love. He seems mentally stable which is a nice change of pace for once. All the red flags seem to be flying at half-mast on this one. Saturday morning Olivia did her normal routine. Up by 9am, 1 hour run, took the dog for a walk, showered and ran normal errands. One thing that she noticed, there was little conversation from Kyle. Olivia checked her phone all day Saturday waiting to hear from him but there was nothing there. Not wanting to come across as needy or annoying, she let it go and went about her day. 6:30 comes and she is getting dressed for the night. Red dress, strappy heels, hair curled, light make up and she was ready to go. She arrived at the Tuscan Grille at 7:50pm but there was no sign of Kyle. Olivia started to wonder if he lost interest. “What if he stood me up? Is he even coming?” Olivia wondered to herself. She walked up to the host desk and asked,

“Hello. I’m meeting someone here; I don’t know if they’ve arrived yet.” "Do you have a reservation?”, asks the host. “Oh yes. Masters… 2.”, replies Olivia while scanning the room of anyone who could be sitting alone. As the host scans the reservation page, “… No the other party hasn’t arrived yet but if you’d like to be seated, I can send them your way once they arrive.” Olivia nods. “The waiter will be with you shortly.” “Thank you,” Olivia said pleasantly but with a hint of concern.

Once seated, she takes out her phone and checks to see if there were any messages from Kyle but there were none. As she’s scanning her phone, her waiter arrives and asks if she would like a drink now or wait for the other party to arrive. “Glass of merlot please.”, Olivia responds kindly. She puts the phone in her purse and begins browsing the menu when HE showed up.

This tall, slightly overweight, loud and pompous looking man walked in and announced his presence to the room and to the host. You couldn’t help but notice him and he made sure of it. As Olivia watched in slight horror with a dash of humor, she took note of his style choice. An all white suit with a bright pink shirt on underneath unbuttoned about halfway down. The suit combined with his demeanor bore a strong resemblance to if Foghorn Leghorn and Don Johnson had a love child. “Thank god that’s not Ky-,” Olivia thought to herself ever so briefly until she heard the host say, “Oh yes. Your other party has arrived. Follow me.” Olivia internally watched in horror as this man who didn’t resemble anything she saw in pictures and not how he described himself at all sit down opposite her at the table. “You must be Olivia,” Kyle stated as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. He had a distinct smell of patchouli, pipe tobacco and bourbon which wasn’t a great combination.

Olivia was lost in wonder as this person sat in front of her could be so vastly different from anything she’d seen or imagined. She attempted to make her best effort to be polite. She made small talk as he glanced through the menu.

“Your glass of merlot, ma’am,” the waiter stated as he placed the glass on the table. “Merlot!? Wine!?” Kyle bellowed out. “Don’t cute little things like you order fruity drinks?” Olivia looked aghast and repulsed a bit but continued to try to be polite. “Take this away sir and get the little lady a Cosmopolitan,” Kyle said dismissively. “And while you’re at it, get me a double shot of 1792 on the rocks.” “As you wish sir.” The waiter says politely as he whisked the merlot away. “I love me some good smooth bourbon,” Kyle states with some grit and growl as if one just stated they loved their truck with a well-placed confederate flag sticker on the back bumper. “Not that you would really know. I’m sure a pretty thing like you hasn’t even had bourbon am I right?” “Actually, I do love a good bourbon, but I was rather looking forward to my wine,” Olivia said curtly. This seemed to finally quiet Kyle’s endless ostentatious banter.

Thoughts swirled in Olivia’s mind of what red flags she missed along the way that would have indicated this is who he really was, but nothing was coming to mind. During the course of dinner, Kyle boasted about himself every chance he had and tried to make himself seem superior to Olivia equally as often which grew old quickly. Of course the more the evening ran on, the more Kyle drank. By the end of dinner, Kyle was intolerable and flat out drunk not that he would ever admit to it. He asked Olivia to secure himself a room upstairs in the hotel instead of trying to get home which any chance to get rid of him, she was more than happy to do. Olivia’s patience for the sloppy behavior was waning fast but she wanted to do the right thing and at least help him get to his room.

Kyle’s suave demeanor, that was restricted only to his mind and ego, tried enticing Olivia to come upstairs and spend the night. “A’ll make it worth yer wh’iall cutie,” slurs Kyle as Olivia is being used a crutch to the elevators. “I think I’ll pass but thanks anyway,” Olivia said curtly. At last they made the not so long walk that seemed twice as far as it really was to the elevator doors and she propped him up against the wall. She checked the time on her watch and that’s when Kyle leaned in for a kiss. Disgusted on every level, Olivia pushed him back into the elevator doors just as they opened which sent Kyle flying backwards into the room service waiter holding food and a glass of merlot. Food and wine went everywhere and soaked through Kyle’s crisp white suit. The irony was not lost on Olivia who is quite satisfied with herself and watched him sit on the floor of the elevator as the doors shut.

The day was long, the night even longer. Olivia has been demeaned and mistreated by someone who was not even close to what they seemed. It was in that moment she made a decision. She made her way to the bar and ordered her drink and as she sipped her merlot, she swore to herself she would never go on a dating site again; she was completely done with dating and men. With one sip left to go, a good-looking man in his mid to late thirties came to the bar to order a drink. He sat next to Olivia who was in her own world reeling about the evening and asked her, “Hi. I’m Mark. Looks like you’ve had a rough day. Want another drink… on me?” Olivia smiled and thought to herself, “Eh, what’s one more time?”