Dream not yet a Reality...

My first initial thought when I saw this challenge was, this one isn’t for me. I didn’t think or know how I could have shown a piece of kindness or inclusivity in the world. I mean I do think of myself as a naturally kind person overall. Am I kind out of fear of what may happen to me? Or am I genuinely the type of person to show kindness? When I think of Martin Luther King Jr., I don’t think I could ever be on that level of patience and kindness. I show everyone the same respect that I receive. However, how do I show inclusivity when I’m the one that always feels left out? As an African American woman, I would say that I am pretty lucky compared to all the horror stories that you hear happening to the black community. I always felt that I was the realistic version of MLK’s dream.

I work as a veterinarian assistant in an upper-class demographic. Literally Steve Harvey and rapper T.I. stays down the street. Needless to say, I’m the only black person that works at the clinic. I started working in the kennel about 3 years ago. I’ve worked my way up to be an assistant to the veterinarians. A lot of our clients haven’t seen me there before because I use to work in the back. Even with the different things that was happening in our country, I never felt out of place. However, this recent experience has changed my thought process of being the only black person there. I never thought that I would have to represent my culture.

I was calling the patient’s name to come into the room. I looked up to see if anyone reacted to the name I was calling. This lady seemed very hesitant and even walked in the door that I was holding open sideways. I didn’t think much of it at first, I just thought this was a weird dog lady. Before I could shut the door behind me, she made me pause. She had asked me to take it very slow for her dog was afraid of me. Meanwhile, the dog had his tongue out while wagging his tail. She had stated that I must be new and that she’s never seen me there. She went on to say that he had been abused by a person that wasn’t Caucasian and that I should stay away. I felt so uneasy and scared of the woman and not the tongue out, tail wagging dog that apparently didn’t like me. I step over the table trying to keep my distance to get to the computer. With every question I was asking this lady about the dog’s history, I was fighting back tears. I’m sure she heard it in my voice. I couldn’t ask all the generic questions before having to excuse myself to get the doctor.

Once I stepped out of the room, one of the doctors saw my face and knew instantly something was wrong. I just burst in tears trying to explain what had just happened. Since I’ve never been the one to cry at work, I had an audience now. Majority of them were trying to comfort me, saying that some dogs depending on their experiences are scared of black people, men, people with ball caps, and sometimes even with beards. I was fully aware of this information. They insured me the client meant nothing by it. I felt like only a certain few understood what I was saying. My friend said she would do the room for me so that I didn’t have to face that lady again.

Now the doctor that I was working with that day, I would say is my favorite. Like she came to my 30th birthday party, we’ve gotten our nails done together and her daughter looks up to me. When my friend came out of the room she was upset. She said that the doctor was comforting the racist client while I was crying in the back. Stating keywords to me like I was being dramatic and there was no need for her to apologize to me because everyone else knew that she wasn’t a racist. This hurt me to the core, how could she down play my feelings! However, I had to figure out how to address the situation without it being escalated. Turns out the few that did understand what I was saying went to the owner of the clinic. Now there I sat with the spot light on me and having to explain my side of the story. I chose kindness and understanding. I understood that they didn’t understand that you can be offensive without using offensive words. I explained that it wasn’t what she said it was how she walked into the room, how she sat on the other side of the bench, it was how she answered my simple question as if I couldn’t possibly understand what a luxating patella was. She made me feel like I wasn’t supposed to be there. I also made it known that I didn’t expect them to do anything about the client. I will face different people like that again in my lifetime. My response to those type of people will get better. I ended the conversation with I’ll talk to the doctor since I do consider her a friend. I was so nervous talking to her but I knew I needed to. I have to say that she took the time to actually hear how I was feeling and not the events of the story she took from my initial version of what happened. She apologized and I’m very confident in saying I think she learned as much as I did from this experience.

With the idea of Martin Luther King Jr., I chose not to fly off the handle and be that “stereotype” angry black woman. I gather my thoughts and approached the situation in a mature professional manner. This year I would show kindness, patience, and show those around me that you don’t have to have the loudest voice in the room to be heard. I know I gained some of my coworker’s respect by the way I approached the situation. Every day that passes, is a day that we are turning his dream into reality.