Don't spoil your man

　　A colleague must travel for a week because of work, I saw her very nervous, shared with her my own business trip experience, I did not expect her back to me: I am not worried about the business trip, but in worry about my husband.

　　It turns out that her husband is basically the one who takes care of everything from opening his eyes to closing them every day, and she was afraid that her husband wouldn't be able to handle these things when she was away on business.

　　I was surprised to hear that, I said that he was married to you before, can not take care of himself?

　　She thought about it, and then told me that it should not be. I then reminded her that men are a bit "bad". If you do something that is good for you, you will try to reach it; but if you do something that is not good for you, you will try not to do it. Once you make men feel that they do not need to do which things, is never more than one thing to do.

　　However, I must also say something to help our men.

　　This lazy mentality is not exclusive to men, only that the social and cultural climate is more likely to give men the opportunity to be lazy. Especially if a family only when the man is working to earn money, women are very easy to do the family's big and small things, and even men and women will feel that such a division of labor is the right thing to do.

　　Even if you enjoy doing these things, I do not encourage you to continue to do so. You know, there will be times when a man loses his job. If he gets fired and stays home, you may think how he won't help with anything. However, you are also responsible for a large part of the reason why the situation has turned out to be like this.

　　Think a little further, if a man retires one day, what value will he be to you back at home?

　　Assuming that the greatest value he has always brought is money, then once he is not able to provide that value, you may feel that your husband is really useless.

　　In Japan, there have been more and more men being divorced, especially middle-aged and older men. The reason is no other than that women feel that the man is no longer able to bring value to them, and instead of serving such a drag, they might as well live with their girlfriends.

　　So, men should not think that the older they are the more valuable, only when you can provide more value, will be like old wine like the older the more fragrant.

　　If you are performing average, then I suggest that you continue to create new value and make your wife feel good about having you.

　　Earlier, I read an article that said it's hard to change people after middle age, they can only make the best of what they have. So, before you step into middle age, you really need to think about what kind of value this man can bring to you. Seriously, everything can be trained, it depends on what method is used.

　　If your husband never cooks, then you can't start out expecting him to cook a good meal, otherwise you'll be disappointed and your husband will be frustrated.

　　You have to train him step by step, let him start by helping, so that he can build up his confidence, and then slowly give him something to do.

　　Here is just taking cooking as an example, not that you must train your own husband to do it. You can start with something that your husband is more interested in and may want to do, the probability of success will be higher.

　　There is a salesman effect in psychology that says that if you stop and listen to a salesman, you have a higher probability of being successfully sold by him. This is also true when applied to marriage. You are more likely to succeed if you ask your husband to help with a little of what he likes first, and then slowly add other things.

　　I have a male friend who is obsessed with handheld games and doll collecting, and his wife often lets him take the kids along to play these things. In this way, she not only has a little more free time, her husband also enjoys it.

　　So, don't spoil the man, let him do more, he will have a sense of value, you will be more relaxed, but also feel that the husband is very useful, how good it is.