Do You Remember Me?

I walked into the shop with my husband. You served us and you looked familiar to me. You asked me many questions, and you gave me that 'I know you from somewhere' look. I recognized you, though I didn't want to say who I was or ask who you were.

You see, over twenty+ years ago, I had a friend who had dark curls, I could never tell whether they were brown or black! He wore a tiny black jacket and he had a cute little mole at the top of his lip. He also loved his sunglasses. He was into Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Black Sabbath. I was into that too, on top of the many other types of music I used to and still listen to.

That friend had a heart of gold; you know, the kind that melts any woman to the ground. He looked after me when I slept in the park, refusing to leave me there alone at a time when I had nowhere to go, and yes, I still remember falling asleep on his shoulder!

I was in a sad place back then. I was unsure of myself, insecure, unhappy and in a really bad place. Even after I met my then-boyfriend who was also your friend, there was always a streak of insecurity in me. I did stick with that relationship for some time, even after you left; though my relationship was fraught with many severe problems, some of which would bring tears to your eyes, especially what happened to me afterwards. That is a time I don't want to talk about yet.

You recognised my accent, and you started talking to me as soon as I walked in. You had your eye on me, even as I left the shop with my husband. I still have thousands of questions as you never told me who you were. You looked shocked and quizzical, and more puzzled when you saw that I was with someone.

"Do you remember me?"

Maybe this is a question I will keep asking myself

You still have those eyes I loved so much. I always said that you looked like Robert Plant back in those days twenty-plus years ago. I'd recognise those eyes anywhere.

I always missed you, even though you left. I understand; like me, you had to go on a journey to find yourself.

Sadly my journey was very difficult and traumatic.

However, I want you to know in the midst of that long trauma that I went through, I found happiness.

I married a wonderful man in 1999, who has been through much trauma with me. This man loves me with all his heart and he always makes me smile, despite his own problems.

I left Yorkshire altogether in early 2003. Before I left, I moved from Leeds, West Yorkshire around early 1998 and moved to Scarborough with the aim of starting a new life and healing from trauma. I went through a lot during this move and I became really ill because of what happened there. However, that is a story for another day. I returned to Leeds briefly to sort out other issues, though this was very brief and I returned back to Scarborough.

Living in Yorkshire put blocks in the way of my healing, and after our landlord passed away; I made the move to Bournemouth, Dorset, the U.K. with my husband. I still had a mountain to climb when I moved here, and it was a very painful journey of trauma, loss and more pain for quite some time. However, I did therapy to help me through it, and I changed my life completely.

I love Bournemouth very much. I have overcome many things here; even things I was told I'd never overcome!

I look after myself well, I am strong, very independent, and confident with a high level of self-esteem. I have started a career in writing, I am much happier and more secure than I have ever been.

I know with certainty that I am lovable, worthy, valued, and beautiful and that my life is worth living in every way. There isn't a single person left in this world who can tell me otherwise.

I don't blame you for being shocked and quizzical. I was a little shocked myself. I have changed a lot over the years, and since it has been so long since you saw me last; I expect that you're going to be unsure and nervous in case you got the wrong person.

I am too!

My only wish is this.

If you remember me; please tell me. I have been searching for you for a very long time, and I am not mad at you for leaving. We had to go on a journey to find ourselves again. My heart is still full of friendship and fondness, and I have spoken about you a lot over the years. Please put the sunshine back in my life and tell me:

Do You Remember Me?