Did COVID Curb Cultural Curiosity?

Imagine a world where an elderly ‘black’ man could walk up to a ‘white’ thirty-something-year-old woman in a supermarket and start whispering to her. Even more, what if his conversation went something like this,

“You better guard your children closer, or I am going to take them home with me.”

Insert creepy laugh here.

The mother takes a double-take and realizes it’s the same elderly man who had eyed them in the parking lot. It appears that this chance meeting is him actually stalking them, hiding out behind the display of bananas for just the right moment to deliver his message. Unexpected and surprised by his forwardness, the ‘white’ woman may react in several ways;

1. She can’t think of a response because his suggestion was so vile.
2. She asks the old ‘black man’ for clarity
3. She yells for store security and continues to scream aloud until they arrive
4. She decides to just ignore him and walk away, throwing a racial epithet over her shoulder as she leaves

It is hard to imagine what a ‘white woman’ would say if approached by an old ‘black’ man about taking her children away as pets because, in my experience, this rarely happens. What does happen is the opposite scenario, where mostly elderly 'white' people make inappropriate comments and gestures to 'black' families

It's something I call “residuals.” This is the thought process and actions of people who feel they have the right to poke, prod, pry, and quiz random ‘black’ people they encounter in public about their life, marriage status, and employment prospects.

The scenario above is real. It happened to me often before the COVID pandemic. I had l grown accustomed to the stares, the whispering, the forwardness of some people, but what I still grapple with is the “what gives you the right” factor. I live in a southern city where ‘black’ people are not an anomaly, but apparently, those who look like me are. We seem to create dissonance in the mind of some other trying to understand who and what we are.

Enter here random Caucasian woman/man who decides it would be best for them to run up to my children, hug them without permission or touch their heads and smile.

“Oh, they are so cute. Did you make that hats? I like your scarf? Where are you from? Do they have a father?"

Some of their antics are seemingly harmless, but every now and then, we get a bold enough, bare-faced enough, unbelievably disrespectful person who decides it's a perfect day to cross the line.

In particular, one man approached us in Walmart as I stood minding my business, reading the labels on the pasta sauce. I looked up as it seemed I was blocking his way, but he came closer as I moved to the side.

“Can’t you find something else to do?”

"Excuse me?" I replied, confused at his question.

He turned his attention to my children, standing by my side then back to me. His eyes told the story of his disapproval.

"They are expensive, you know." He continued uninvited.

"What is it to you?" I replied, annoyed.

"Why don't you read a book or something," he shot back, insinuating that my time would be better spent reading books than making babies.

"Read a book, that's funny because not only do I read them, I write them as well."

He was shocked at my reply and embarrassed at his forwardness. Before I could give him a piece of my mind, he began making his way down the aisle. I didn't want to pursue him, so I let him go.

Sadly, the COVID pandemic has changed a lot of things for a lot of people. Many condolences to those who have lost love ones this past year. Sending love and light to those who struggle in this time to find their bearings. This global change has pushed humanity to dig deep and discover another aspect of our being may we emerge stronger and better.

In just one year, many things have changed, and to think there was a time not so long ago that people felt comfortable touching random strangers. To be clear, I am aware of the value and healing prosperities of human touch, but truthfully, I have to admit the pandemic did help us in a lot of ways. One being it re-established healthy boundaries between our random admirers and us.