Destiny on the Bus

Ever since I got out of prison, I just wanted to help people. People who were wrongly sentenced to prison.

I was accused of drug trafficking when I was 19. I was just in the right place at the wrong time.

While I waited to leave, I realized something must be done. I wasn’t hurting anyone so why am I here? From a mistake that’s costing 3 years of my life?

But how do you get someone to listen to you when you’re an ex-convict? I can’t vote, most places won’t hire me, and I’m a college drop out. Plus, people are judgmental as fuck.

The best I can do is a grocery store job right now.

6 months have passed since I got out. I continue to ponder how I can help the ones who were wrongly convicted. I’ve thought about becoming a lawyer, and applied to a community college near my home. But making tuition with minimum wage at a grocery store? Or a scholarship for someone like me?

Pffft. I wish. I dreamed anyway.

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I went to visit my mom’s home just outside of the city. Mom made Japanese curry, which always made me feel at home. She knows I’ve been a bit moody lately.

“I got you something!” she sang. I suspiciously glanced at her, she’s not the type to get overly excited. I reached into a bag filled with purple tissue papers and sparkles. I wasn’t expecting a book with the loud decor.

“The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy” I read aloud.

“This book literally just changed my life. My friend Ivan just suggested this to me 4 months ago, and I feel like I’ve truly been reborn.”

“How so?”

“Here’s the thing. You can have literally anything you want. This book was like a slap in my face. In a good way though! I realized I’ve been playing the victim my whole life. I was holding myself back and I didn’t even realize it at the time. I made so many excuses for what I didn’t do in my life. I feel awake for the first time in my life.” she exclaimed.

It wasn’t until then that I realized how happy her energy felt. Something I haven’t experienced in a long time.

I recall a time my mom and I talked about manifestation. It sounded kind of like that. A concept I nerded out on when I was younger, then somehow forgot. How could I have forgotten?

After picking my mom’s brain for 2 hours, I walked to the town bus stop to get home. I was 10 seconds late for the first bus and ended up having half an hour to kill. I grabbed a few drinks at the pub and flipped through the first few chapters before I stumbled on the bus.

I closed my eyes as I leaned to the back of the chair. Head beating loudly, flushed cheeks, breathing slowly, and a million and a half thoughts. Have I been manifesting all the bad things to happen to me for 23 years?

It’s 8 pm, so there’s no one on the bus. Thank god. I felt like I was breaking through a wall, but also felt incredibly confused. Could life really be that simple?

So I said an affirmation, something the book suggested.

“I’m a lawyer that helps wrongly convicted people to be free from mistakes,” I drunkenly said to myself. I forgot how confident Tequila makes me and actually believed it.

I dropped my book on the ground and picked it back up. Somehow I picked up another book too?

I rubbed this black moleskin notebook that seemed to magically appear in my hands, though I definitely felt it on my fingertips. A black band that kept the mysterious notebook closed and what looks like a yellow envelope shoved inside.

Curious and intrigued, I opened the book. Nothing on the first page. Weird. I flip to the envelope next.

I pull off the sticker that was taping it shut. Then, I was struck with a weird pang of sobriety. Are my eyes deceiving me? Am I that drunk or is this actually happening?

A wad of cash and a note inside.

“If you spend this $20,000 poorly, you’ll be back where you started. If you spend this money wisely, you’ll grow richer in finance, health, and happiness.”

I feel like I’m being pranked at this point. No one besides the bus driver is on the bus. I was thinking about giving it to the driver - until I saw what was scribbled on the page the envelope was stuck in.

“This is not an accident.”