Destination: Unknown

When we think of relationships we tend to reflect on the love or style of relationship that we were exposed to as children. I grew up in a fairly loveless marriage, and didn't really know what it meant to really, truly love another person. Its a sad reflection on my life, of course, but I believe it to be 100% true. But it has moulded me into the person I am today, and now that I've found love, I can't let it go even when it pains me.

As teenagers, when we are going through the throws of hormones and we see the glimmers of love and lust, we assume that we know what it actually means to be in it. But we really don't know anything, even as a 27 year old, I can't say that I know the full extent of it but I know what I knew then, and it wasn't this. Love is the most painful experience we will ever experience, but we go back, time and time again, ad infinatum. It's the only form of torture we will, willingly subject ourselves to.

Our heart breaks and hangs on every word that our partner says and regardless of what is going on in our own minds and lives, the only thing that will bring pause and a sense of peace is the poetry that slips out of the experiences with our partners. There's a reason some of the most profound, funny and almost-spiritual experiences we ever remember are with those who we share a deep emotional, spiritual and physical bond with.

When you find that person who you click with, who you can talk with or sit in silence with and enjoy the moment with for hours with, its the closest thing we have to a meeting with god. We can sit in complete silence and yet feel like everything that you need to be said has been received without a single utterance ever needing to be mentioned. But relationships only work when you work on them. Your partner is the project that you hope, you will never finish.

Love is and act of service to another person, the most painful service you will ever put yourself in, time after time, for no clear or obvious reason. I'm personally a religious man, but I view my devotion to my girlfriend and my ability to work with her on life as an act of devotion to god, because in some respects, she is god. Its a bit dramatic, but she's the thing that gives me peace when there is war, gives me laughter when there is silence and warmth when there is snow.

Even the most arrogant and self-obsessed man will be brought to his knees by his partner, either by their or his own actions. Our partners will be the ones to bump us up when we're down and humble us when we get too full of ourselves. It will be a turbulent relationship that you will be glad you have, because its a journey with no clear destination, and the flight that you will never want to land.

I admit, I'm a smartass who feels like he has answers to most questions people raise. I'm an academic, but there is nothing like being caught off guard by our partners and being stun-locked by those who know us best. Not knowing or needing to know an answer has never been more freeing for someone like me and my relationship with my partner is confusing but I've never been more at ease with not knowing than I am right now.