DELUSIONS OF A MAD WOMAN

DELUSIONS OF A MAD WOMAN (one man act/stage play)

Stage opens to a woman laying across a large cushioned leather chair and ottoman at the foot of her bed. She is dressed in her lingerie... a turquoise thong and athletic bra,, sipping coffee; her hair tousled as if she had just had sex. She sits writing, smiling and sipping her coffee by the dim light of her desk lamp on the desk across the room.

"Jimmy Smits lays across my bed, partly clad in the king size white rose laden sheet crumpled on top of it. The smile on his face as he rests under furling scent of rosemary oil that I rubbed deep into his otherwise sex scented flesh and The Rock throws me another angry but detached frown." She pauses, then continues, again reading out loud as she writes, "...you see, he ...didn't care. He said I was grown and that he wasn't gonna be my BIG BROTHER." She continued, "He wasn't playing the role a BIG BROTHER plays; a watcher on my side." "Jimmy Smits is laying there because he was... and is, conscientious. Jimmy puts his emotions where they can be seen, as if they were being read from a book. The bare butt scenes and threats of frontal exposure were not a thrill... but rather, something he had to digest before he could roll over and expose his secrets." He was, and I'm glad. Where glad approaches me, The Rock was usually satisfied except, and unless, it was gratification on the tip of another man. His gratification was in the touch of another... violently enough... the touch of another man. She thought about her last manuscript.

She sighs deeply, glances up and around the room then at her bed. She writes again as she speaks... "I have got to get a change going on, something going right again. Jimmy, Jimmy Smits could pretty well be about to be hung over something like this. It has happened before." She nods her head.

She puts the pen down on her tablet and looks across the room at the blank television screen. Then thinking out loud, "I hope he reads that e-mail tomorrow. The Rock would never respond on his own. He had to have his friends do his work... those two big guys."

She stands up to get the remote control from the desk top, then clicks the television on. The light shadows dance around the exterior of the low lit room as she flicks from channel to channel in search of a familiar face. Then she utters, "Not til tomorrow morning. I should pack up and go back out west." She flips the television off and puts the remote down in one frustrated move. She turns to go back over to her chair and writing pad. She sips the last of her coffee and picks up the pen to write. "Jimmy sleeps away the time," uttering... "and I don't know if I have that much left. Tomorrow is a long time away," She glances at the clock and reads out loud... 3:25 a.m. She sighs and picks up her cup again before remembering it is empty. She grasps the pen again writing, "Jamie is sweet... really sweet and gentle... Like I always wanted a man to be." She closes her eyes and smiles, saying "And he kisses nice too. Yep, he's... he must have to be the one." He's tall and tan... a knee short of being olive tan; that's it, he's Red Tan. Not like The Rock at all. He was always GOLD... But that's not a bad color to have to be either. Gold was nice... Red Tan, gold tan and olive tan." She looks at her own arm extended in front of her, then remembers a friend's comment before saying out loud, "...and I just ain't gonna evuh be black enuf for none of em!" She sighs then says, "I'll have to keep getting by being red tan or gold. Whatever the seasons put on me, I can't get any way except what I am." She curls her legs up under her and tucks into the deep cushioned leather chair becoming barely visible except from the front of the seat. After almost one minute of silence, she pops her head up again... slips her legs our, feet onto the floor and stands, saying "I need another drink!" Then steps off to the kitchen of her apartment to brew another cup of coffee. As she passes the door of the bedroom, she glances at the clock and reads the time out loud, "3:30 A.M." She leaves the room for one minute before returning with a steaming cup. While out of the room singing of country song, WE DANCED is heard, her voice with the radio

She returns to the leather chair and places the cup on a tray at the foot of her bed. She picks up her pen and moves the tray to the floor, the stands to put the pad and pen on the desk. She reaches over and turns off the desk lamp then walks over to the bed. Climbing on top of the sheets and grabbing a pillow (barely visible by the moonlight streaming thru her window) she lays lengthwise in bed. The says, "I don't know what's wrong... I can't be satisfied with this... can't sleep so pardon me for a while. She reaches to the side of the bed and pulls out a vibrator (large black massager) tucks up against the object in her hand and flips the switch on. For several minutes a muffled buzzing is heard with interspersed sighing," "Ahh umph... Ohhh and just... jhuust... ahhhg." Then the noise stops.

She says out loud, "Dang it... Smits has got to get this act together." She sighs, "He's got to learn to meet me at least half way. She rolls onto her back in the dark and shuts her eyes. (silhouette by moonlight is visible in the dark) After a moment, she giggles out loud saying, "...there ya go." She thinks about her coffee... throws her legs over the object in bed and stands up on the floor again. She goes to sit in the leather chair, pen and pad in hand.

She sighs a long frustrated sigh then writes as she speaks out loud, sounding each word as she went along, "Jimmy has a lot of catching up to do. This thing has got to get done and he is the perfect role model for it. I should have know the likeness of The Rock wouldn't do... ego. Too much ego and no skill in the "love scene" close up with a woman. She settles down to writing, "This ache needs to get gone and not in trying to reach back for old flames." She leans away from her notes and smiles to herself, "Oops!" she speaks the word out loud, giggles and follows with, "Oh okay", leaning over to write "Jimmy can score one down- many more to go!" Then chuckles... saying "I knew he was good! She sits back into her chair and sips long into her coffee. "Machiatto... Nothing better." She smiles and says, I guess the difference in trying to place the two of them is macho bravo for the guys and the other is laid back. This one is going to work, from my imagination's point of view and for live stage... this one will work." Both of them are "ugleh" in my mom's book and as far as my cousins can see... but I ain't ever been trying to placate their their needs. Writing for stage can't be based on closed mindedness like that. Cast what can work, what can make the grad; and I pick what I like... MACHIATTO TALL... MACHIATTO strong! I'm not a fan for espresso... and too much milk turns me off. Give me MACHIATTO TAN for my story... " she pauses to think and continues. "There is a negative though, a negative because we... All Knowwwww ain't nobody perfect. I'd tell Jimmy... I'd tell him right off. Them dark circles are your worst attribute. But that's what ya call a shortfall other than that, you're beautiful to me." She thinks a little more and says with a straight face, "And if he asks, which he won't, I tell him. "The Rock had a shortfall too. His shortfall, gorgeous and arousing as he is, ain't really his own fault. He got a big problem though, men... friend men agree his ego is something he could do without." She stops talking and stops writing her manuscript. Daylight is showing through the window. She glances over at the clock and smiles in a sigh of relief. It is 9:30 A.M. She pulls the covers up on the bed and goes to sit at her desk reaching for the remote control. She flips the television on and reads, "Channel 34." Then smiling, "NYPD." She sits back and sips the cup of coffee. As the cast scrolls across the television screen she catches glimpse of the name Jimmy Smits, and releases a sigh of relief, "He's back on the job... Best man I can get, BEST MAN!"