Dear English

To the teacher who made me love English -

In the summer of 2023, I got a tattoo right in the middle of my back that reads "Within and Without", a shortened version of a Great Gatsby quote.

When I started reading it in your High School English class, I'll be honest, I really didn't like it. After the first couple of chapters, I put it down. I came in for class and you asked if anyone liked it so far... and we all said no. This could have been for a multitude of reasons.

1. We all collectively hated required reading.

2. We skimmed through it and didn't actually "read".

3. We didn't understand it.

Now, I can't speak for the rest of Freshman English, but I'm going to go with #3. You started talking about the next chapters, you went into the American Dream and the symbolism of the Green Light at the end of the dock, and then you spent the rest of the class asking us about our dreams, and what our green light would be. I'm sure my answers have changed immensely since I was 14 years old, but my love for English and the way you taught it hasn't. So, I restarted the book from the beginning, and I can tell you, I've never looked at it the same.

Regardless of what book we read - Of Mice and Men, To Kill A Mockingbird, and The Catcher in the Rye (except Animal Farm, I really hated Animal Farm). You found a way to connect to us with every single classic book that they "made" us read. A different personal lesson for every literature classic:

The Catcher in the Rye - you taught me that everyone experiences loneliness and alienation, no one is ever alone in feeling that way.

To Kill A Mockingbird, you paired us with a new person every day and had us learn about them, so that we would never judge a book by it's cover like Boo Radley unfortunately was.

Of Mice and Men, another view point of the American Dream and how isolating it can be when you're a little different - how companionship and loyalty can get you some of the best things in life.

So, as I sat in a bar, my sophomore year of college after a choir concert, laughing and goofing off with my friends, I thought about the Great Gatsby. I thought about what my green light would be, I thought about how money and fame were so little to Gatsby as long as he found love, and I realized that I was in the moment with my friends, and yet, I was looking at it from above. A moment in time that I realized how grateful I was to be simple, loved, and laughing with some of the best people in my life. So much so that when I got home, the quote from Nick's time in the city stuck in my head. When he says:

“I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.”

I was exhausted from college and in love with my new friends. I was questioning every decision about studying music and if it would make me money, and yet every time I sang with people my heart grew. I was within and without, and the way that I never would have been grateful for those small moments without my love of English is the reason I write you this letter today. I thank you for giving me one of my favorite books and favorite authors, but also for giving me a way to connect whatever I was reading to what I needed at that present moment.

I absolutely loved your class, the way you connected with us, and the way you made us love the written language. I've never loved reading more and my pin point was sitting in small corner classroom that overlooked the pine trees and the opening line of The Great Gatsby:

"In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since."