𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓐𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓪 (unable to earn money)

Dear Angelina,

My mind was fractured, my heart impaired and my body repudiated me. Earning money felt impossible, I wasn’t prepared for this life neither did it feel as though it was ready for me, Angelina.

But…

“There is no better excess in the world than the excess of gratitude.” — Jean de La Bruyère

In a moments pause, you took your eyes away from your own life, you had two boys but you did not mind caring for someone who wasn’t your flesh and blood.

There I was, the daughter of your friend. You saw her floundering with a child who only had one good ear, and could not earn money to help her with the bills.

‘It wasn’t about the bills’ a whisper in my ear, a lesson I learnt later

The audiologist told me that the problem was too deep within my ear canal, inside my cochlea, for them to fix. I stay away from places with too much background noise, but that would mean I would stay away from everywhere; because social anxiety was my friend. But you were a friend beyond the walls of my room, the place where I was hidden within the gloom.

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Do you remember me? I am sorry, I had to ask my mom for your name because I needed it, just in case you happened to stumble across this.

I am alright, but I am in tears. I hope you’re okay, and your boys too. I don’t know if you know everything about my story, but here goes a little:

I must have had some trauma stored deep inside my psyche, something was told to me that made me think of myself as a dunce. Angelina, I thought I had a curse on me. A mind block, a thick veil over my Hippocampus, a sick game being played — I could not hold anything in memory for too long.

Reality would slip away from me daily.

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I remember a report card given to my mother by a teacher. I can’t remember her exact words but it was clear that she didn’t want to teach me. I annoyed her with my inability to learn, I made her hate her job… I’m sure.

This is why I could not earn money. But all of that didn’t matter to you, your children needed help in other ways and you went and got it for them, that same place was where you guided my mother. She took your advice and she gave that to me, we followed everything and money was on the way.

I can’t thank you enough, for the time that money lasted it meant so much; and even more so when it was gone. Because it made me feel worthy of an income, it made me feel accepted even though I had little to give. This would lead to every other decision I made, even signing up to Vocal.

I started to trust people after this, you were the hand that guided me to my husband too. It’s all too complicated for me to explain, but I see now that it’s because of you why I have someone that I could talk to today, now that you’re far away.

Wherever you are in this world, I hope it’s a place that makes you happy.

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Perhaps that teacher was there to help me too. Maybe her words weren’t brusque or curt, maybe it was an alert. But it was one we never answered to. As I write this letter, you’re healing my inner child, this was a realization that I came by now that I am writing to you.

Thank you.

Did you know I would wake up in the morning to go to the library, to read, to learn… even when I felt I wasn’t smart enough to cross the road? You made that happen.

I was trying to help myself, but even then you were helping me. I picked up one of the big books, there were a lot of pages. I still have the picture of it, I could send it to you if you ask.

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I started exercising too, I fell off for a while, but I got back to it. I can walk without being too tired. I went to the doctors too. Thank you…

If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t know I had h-pylori, you gave me strength even though you didn’t live at home with me. I was in so much pain, but I went and I took all the pills. How is your health?

You gave me strength to be there for my mother, yes we were working out together. We were each other's cheerleader, anyone that knows me knows I didn’t have the best relationship with my mom, but you started the mending for us.

You made me realize that my mom just wanted the best for me, she wanted me to have friends that would stick by me; she wanted me to feel good about myself and to have something to show for it, it wasn’t about the bills, she just wanted me to have the choice to help but only if it didn’t mean I would be left in need.

Thank you sevenfold.

With love

Peace

Hope

And gratitude

Caitlin Charlton

A/N: Thank you so much for giving this piece a chance to read, If you got this far. ♥️🙏

If the font showed up in the title, it was not my idea. I saw someone do it here, I don’t remember who. But if you are one of those individuals, all credit goes to you. I just thought it would look good for this challenge. But here is where I copied it Fancy letters