Dating For The First Time At 25

Many people would be surprised when I tell them that I have never dated any human beings before, and I am 25 years old. Many people would question the reasons behind this decision, as they find me to be well qualified to date, I am a graduate student in a prestigious school, my look is just fine if I am allowed to say so, and I have a deep understanding of love and romance.

All the above reasons weren’t enough to make me change my mind and go on love adventures and explore the dating world.

Throughout my whole life, I had to sacrifice a lot to get to where I am today, I am not sure if I made a mistake by putting my love life aside, but I am sure that my hard work has paid off.

I come from a very modest family, I grew up as an orphan all my life, so I had to work hard in parallel to my studies to support myself financially, and to succeed at school. I know that focusing on studies is hard, but trust me it is worth it. It is worth it because with your education you gain other people respect and you increase your chances of having a decent job especially if you majored in a field that you are passionate about.

Having all the financial responsibilities wasn’t the main reason that prevented me from dating, the main reason was my mental health. I suffered from major depression since my teen years, I didn’t know at the time that I was struggling with depression, but the symptoms were strong enough to leave me paralyzed sometimes, and it was getting worse with years.

I wish I got help earlier, I am sure this would have changed many things in my life. I wish I took my mental health more seriously because that was as important as my physical health and other aspects of my well being.

Furthermore, I needed time to understand myself, I needed time to make peace with my emotions and love myself before even thinking of loving another person. My emotions weren’t mature enough and I was scared to get hurt.

Having a soul mate is such an amazing feeling, having someone who cares about you and loves you as an integral part of themselves is another dimension of happiness. I haven’t got the chance to enjoy this feeling before, but I know how lovely and intense it can be.

I used to write love poems and imagine my perfect partner, it was a cute activity that I always enjoyed doing, except that my partner never showed up or maybe it was me who was pushing people away without noticing that my love was around me. Sometimes we get so busy in life and we become so blind that we ignore precious things without noticing.

Even though I never dated myself, my friends did and had many experiences they shared with me, as I was always there to listen to them and to the drama caused by their relationships. These are the things I learned from them about love:

Love can be equal to obsession.

Love is precious, but mutual love is even more priceless.

Love is a two ways street and if someone pushes more than the other, the bond may break down leading to serious consequences

Dating can take time before knowing what works best for you and choosing the wrong guy/girl can make your life a romantic horror movie.

Friendship is very important and no matter what happens we shouldn’t give up on our friends for our lovers, nor the opposite, and finding a balance is the key.

There is no right time or the right place to start dating and simply we need to go with the flow.

Love can affect mental health just like any other life event.

Past mistakes can keep hunting us, we have no power over getting hurt, but standing the pain is our choice.

Boundaries and privacy are very important in relationships, and social media has never been a character-defining tool. What our hearts hold is so much bigger than anything else.

Several societal and moral issues such as domestic violence, abuse, society’s vapidness, stalking women should be taken seriously and that we can never romanticize these issues.

Forgiveness can be given sometimes, yet forgetness is almost impossible.

The past of a person and their childhood can leave a lot of scars on their older self, which can either make them or break them.

Love can be dangerous, and unpredictable. It can have a plot, a story behind it and it is much more than a simple word. I learned the essence of the complexity of love and the lengths that some can go for it.

I understand that dates are a useful way of getting to know someone and finding out what you might have in common so it shouldn’t be too hard for me to date, even though first dates are a bit nerve-racking, and having the first date at 25 will be more intense.

I think I took enough time to reflect on my love life and I decided to give my heart the chance to fall deeply in love, to explore other people's lives and to enjoy myself during the process because I only live once.

It is never too late to start dating, and I am happy that I took all the time needed to work on my issues before bringing them to my future relationship, and I am in a point in my life where I feel I know myself and I am deeply in love with everything about me. I feel I am ready to give and receive love at this phase of my life, and I think I shouldn’t prevent myself from the privilege of dating another person.

The question I am asking my self now is: will I ever find my true love?