Daniel's Dilemma

“Hell found me.” Daniel says calmly staring down into his glass of bourbon sitting across from me. “Why did I say yes?”

“Is that truly how you feel about all of this?” I ask him with the same calm continence.

“It isn’t as though you are a Vampire. It is a privilege to be chosen to become one of them and not a Vampire or Drastida…if they chose to go that route again.” I try to reassure him chuckling slightly under my breath.

“Privilege?” shaking his head he closes his eyes and inhales strongly. “It’s a privilege to be a dropnutem?” He looks me straight in the eyes.

“Are you unhappy? Do you hate me that much?” I ask him, staring back into his eyes. I try desperately to control my emotions and keep from having an outburst.

“Of course, not Sebastian!” He replies in an almost hushed voice looking around the room to see if anyone was eavesdropping on our conversation.

I bite down on my lower lip hard, a bad habit that I picked up from Tadanya. I bow my head and get up to leave.

“Sebastian…wait…you know that that’s not what I meant…I love you.” He tells me standing up he places his glass down on the coffee table in front of him and rounds it to stand behind me.

“Ehh, Daniel. It wasn’t forced on you to become one of us. You were offered just like the rest of us. This was your decision…maybe it wasn’t your choice to become a dropnutem but that is just the way that it happened. The roll of the dice.” Turning around to face him I grab him by the shoulders. “This has been your life for the last ten years. Why are you still struggling with this? And why have you never told me how you truly felt? I am your temporary mate yes, but I am your first. We should be able to confide in each other.”

His eyes soften just a little as he looks at me then I start to see how shameful he now feels. I slowly let go of him and back away slowly. He immediately grabs hold of me wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his head on my chest sideways.

“I’m sorry Sebastian. I didn’t mean to make you feel insignificant.” He exhales slowly before continuing, “Of course I know that for males it is a drop of a dime of whether we are a dropnutem or a nutem. Please do not be angry with me. I really do love you and care for you, and I know that you feel the same way about me.” Lifting his head, a small smile appears on his beautiful peach colored face. His short curly locs fall backwards off his face as he looks up at me.

Placing my hand to his head I gently caress his hair and smile back with a small laugh. I can never stay angry at him for too long. And I cannot begin to understand how he feels. But I have a feeling that he is not the only dropnutem that feels this way.

2

“Daniel! Can we talk?” I hear a familiar voice call from behind me. I just stepped out of Sebastian’s bedroom that I share while we are mated to each other. Turning around I see that it’s Master Lucian. His expression is one of concern. It’s obvious that he is one of the people that were in the family/meeting room that heard our conversation.

“Of course, Master Lucian. What is it that you wish to discuss?” I answer him bowing slightly with one arm across my stomach and the other behind my back as is routine for us butlers when greeting one of the Masters or Mistresses.

“Follow me to my office.” He orders me before turning around to head in the direction of his private office.

All their offices are shielded around the clock to keep others of our species from listening in on anything and everything that takes place behind their doors.

Upon entering his office, I ask him instantly if there is anything that he needs such as food or a drink.

“No need. You like bourbon, don’t you?” He asks me, grabbing the glass container filled with bourbon and pour it into two short square glasses.

I nod passively.

He walks over to me and hands me one of the glasses then gestures for me to take a seat on the black leather couch a distance from his desk while he sits in one of the two black leather chairs opposite the couch.

“It must be hard. To be a dropnutem it takes a lot of will.” He speaks to me kindly looking me up and down before staring out of the large window to his left. “I remember the first time that Ahriman entered me. I was still human amid transforming.” He continues, looking down with a smirk on his face, “Can you imagine? How it felt…. agonizing…yet unbearably pleasurable at the same time? Hmph, no other dropnutem has ever had to go through that. It was sweet torture being transformed in that manner. Haha…” he laughs a little and a pained look starts to form on his smooth ivory porcelain face.

“Do you hate him for that?” I ask him without thinking. Before I can catch myself, he replies swiftly looking up at me.

“Just as much as I love him.” He pauses tilting his head to the side a little bit. “But that same night, Harimah’s touch…it put me at ease...."