"Dad, I'm sorry, I'm ashamed of my divorce."

Dear daughter:

Last night, Dad received your text message.

You said you were divorced.

You also said, I'm sorry, because the divorce embarrassed me.

Silly boy, you didn't embarrass me or embarrass our family.

Dad is very distressed, because he always thought my baby daughter was very happy, but he didn't expect my daughter to learn to report good news instead of bad news.

Dad is also very guilty, guilty that he didn't help my daughter to take care of it and didn't pay close attention to your marital status.

My daughter, who has made me grow up, has seen all the ugliness in the world in just a few years and tasted all the hardships that I have never eaten in the past twenty years.

Dad couldn't sleep all night, so he got up in the middle of the night to write this letter to you.

01

What is marriage?

Mr Qian Zhongshu once wrote in Fortress Besieged:

"Marriage is a besieged city. People outside the city want to come in and people in the city want to go out."

Love, fertility, life, responsibility, getting along with two people, combining two families ...

"Marriage" is a grand subject, which contains too many meanings.

But dad's biggest feeling after more than 30 years of marriage is-

The essential meaning of marriage should be that when two people are together, they must live better than when they are alone.

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If your partner can't protect you from the wind and rain, instead, he is the wind and rain, so why get married?

Young people always think that love is everything, so long as they love each other, everything is not a problem.

However, when affection always cools down, it will fade.

Love again strong, after all, still want to return to the daily necessities, trivial things.

When you really start to face these problems, the problems will be exposed.

Sometimes, the true value of marriage is not reflected in what is right and wrong, but in the tiny details.

When the weather cools down, someone can remind you to add clothes;

When you come home from overtime at night, you can see a lamp waiting for you in the living room.

When you have something to tell, someone listens to you ...

There are people who accompany you, help you, be happy for your happiness and be sad for your sadness.

If these are not available, then two people will not be together for long.

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In the movie "In the Mood for Love", Su Lizhen played by Maggie Cheung said this after learning that her husband was derailed:

"I never thought that marriage could be so complicated. I thought it was enough to do it by myself.

But when two people are together, it is not enough to do well by themselves. "

The best state of marriage is not to consume each other, but to be close; Instead of fighting alone, we should grow together.

The words that Mr. Jin Shijie said in "The Left is King" represent the sincerity of parents all over the world:

My daughter should think about getting married with someone she likes.

Hold your head high, especially hard-pressed, and look forward to it, as if you have won.

With me, she can only be happy, but nothing else.

It's the same with dad.

I gave birth to you, raised you, and supported you to get married, not to let you taste all the human suffering.

Not to let you continue the incense, but to let you experience your own happiness.

Now, if you choose divorce, as your father, you will stand with you unconditionally.

02

Marriage is for happiness, so is divorce.

Up to now, too many people have demonized divorce.

Traditionally, people think that divorce means marriage failure, life failure and loneliness.

Divorced women, in particular, have to bear more prejudice and discrimination.

Indeed, I have to admit that divorce is a great blow and harm to a person.

Marriage is no child's play. If you are divorced, you need to be responsible for your children, divide your property and face the uncertainty of your life.

But dad wants to tell you that if you can bear all this,

Or it is a kind of relief for you, which can make you return to the embrace of happiness, then your mother and I will support you.

A low-quality marriage is not as good as a high-quality single.

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Do you remember the great-aunt who came to our house before?

When your great-uncle was young, he cheated by gambling and stole money from his family to raise a woman outside.

My uncle and aunt raised their four children by setting up a food stall.

Later, my great-uncle had a little wife outside, and he had to divorce my great-uncle and great-uncle, but my great-uncle didn't agree with me.

In this way, two people are carrying a long-dead marriage.

Until my great-uncle died in another country, two people didn't welcome reconciliation.

In fact, with my aunt's skill and ability, and plenty of youth, I pursue my new happiness.

When she spent time with her uncle, she also exhausted her youth and life.

It's not worth it.

Marriage is like a pair of shoes, only you know whether it fits or not.

A proper marriage is good, but a failed marriage is like a pair of inappropriate shoes.

Grinding you to pieces will make you unable to walk. You can't move forward without giving up.

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I'm not talking about the benefits of divorce, I just want to tell you-

Marriage, or divorce, is actually just a change of lifestyle, without right or wrong, without praise or criticism.

People's life is so short that they just want to be happy.

Marriage is for happiness, so divorce is also for happiness.

All destinations are in the name of love.

03

Marriage is optional, but not required.

Some time ago, Dad saw a very interesting conversation on the Internet.

The daughter asked her mother, "Can you not get married?"

Mom said, "If fireworks are flying outside and the neighbors' food tastes overflowing,

The family travels hand in hand on the street, so you can resist crying. "

The daughter asks.

The smell of rice overflowed. Who made the rice? Who washes the dishes? Who cleans the house? Who put the children to sleep?

Travel hand in hand? Have you bought the school district room? Who helps with homework? Is the child obedient?

I'm out shopping and eating, and I'm going home to play games and read novels with the cake I just bought.

It's hard for a young couple who meet unkempt face and look tired and carry their children to play outside.

This reversal surprised dad.

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Times are really different. Dad has many friends around him. He doesn't let his children fall in love when he goes to school.

When the graduation time comes, I urge someone to get married, as if getting married is like a task.

Many children are forced to get along with their parents, or they are unhappy when they are married.

Dad didn't want to see such a scene, so I didn't intervene in your marriage affairs.

Marriage is optional, not required.

Love is necessary, but love is not.

For all people, marriage and love are just a part of life.

If you are happy enough at the moment, don't care why others have things you don't have.

Of course, I hope you won't be knocked down by this little thing. I encourage you to still fear love and marriage.

Just remember to keep your eyes open before choosing a partner next time.

04

The last and most important point.

Dad wants to tell you that you are still young, you have plenty of time, and you should allow yourself to try and make mistakes.

Divorce is just a very small hurdle in your life.

You should be as strong as you were when you were a child, fall down and get up by yourself.

Pat the dirt on your body, then smile and start again.

I really like the writer's late sleep saying:

All the papers in life can be painted and altered, and the painting is too messy. At most, you can deduct points and face points.

Don't say alter, you can even cheat, cheat, peek at the answer from Wang Xiaohua next door, and draw a picture of a tiger after a cat, and you can also score.

There is always enough time, and the bell will not ring until the last moment of life.

Before that, you have plenty of time to learn and change.

In fact, life is the same. Some people have smooth sailing and others have experienced hardships, but no matter what situation they are in, people should not lose their courage to love and live.

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Here, you don't need to play wife, daughter-in-law, and daughter.

We hope that you can be more yourself and live well.

Maximum freedom, self-esteem, self-improvement and self-love.

Well, having said so much, it's time for you to abandon your dad again.

In a word, don't forget that your parents will always be your support, and they always want you to be happy.

Where there is your mother and me, it is your home.

It's dawn. Dad will pick you up.