Cooper (part one of three)

C O O P E R

Written by

Angel Garcia

An Experimental Dark Comedy

Part 1

BLEACHED

DANI (O.S.)

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected.”

Graphic One:

“A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare.”

Scene 01

Int. LIBRARY - late night

FADE IN

CHRISTIAN COOPER, a college freshman, was writing in his journal at a table. Being one of the three only students left in the library, he focuses a lot in his journal. It is half full, while the other half is being written at the moment. He is in his own world. His world.

As he continues to write, a young woman approaches the young Christian. Young, a bit tiny, yet very beautiful. She’s carrying a stack of books, mainly based on music and music history.

LIZZIE

(panting)

Hi!

CHRISTIAN

(looks up; smiles)

Hey.

LIZZIE

(sits down)

I see you’re writing. Are you doing an assignment?

CHRISTIAN

No. Actually it’s a book I’m trying to write.

LIZZIE

So, you’re a writer?

CHRISTIAN

You can say that.

LIZZIE

(smiles)

What you mean by that?

CHRISTIAN

I write a lot of stories.

(sighs)

It just never be published.

LIZZIE

Why is that?

CHRISTIAN

Not good enough.

LIZZIE

Says who?

CHRISTIAN

Me.

LIZZIE

How many stories have you written, mister…

CHRISTIAN

Cooper. Christian Cooper.

(thinks)

Maybe at least forty short stories.

LIZZIE

And you mean to tell me you like none of them?

CHRISTIAN

Nope.

LIZZIE

Well, can I read one of them?

CHRISTIAN

Nope.

LIZZIE

Why not?

CHRISTIAN

Because you wouldn’t like it.

LIZZIE

Who else read your stories?

CHRISTIAN

(eyes widened)

Who else?

LIZZIE

(nods)

Yeah.

CHRISTIAN

My father.

LIZZIE

And what did he say?

CHRISTIAN

I rather not say.

LIZZIE

So, you call yourself a writer. But who do you write for? The people, or yourself?

CHRISTIAN

I write until I know it’s ready to be shown.

LIZZIE

I see.

(looks at the journal)

What’s this book about?

CHRISTIAN

Oh this one?

(chuckles)

This one… oh this one is about a guy trying to battle his other personalities/alter egos.

LIZZIE

Like Split?

CHRISTIAN

No. Not like Split. Ya see, it’s all happening in his head- wait, I can’t tell you!

LIZZIE

(laughs)

Really? Why not?

CHRISTIAN

Because you are gonna have to read it yourself.

LIZZIE

How if you won’t let anybody read it?

CHRISTIAN

(smiles)

This is my masterpiece.

(looks back to the journal)

And you are?

LIZZIE

(puts hand out)

I am Lizzie.

They shake hands.

LIZZIE

Well, I’ll see you later. Mr. Cooper.

CHRISTIAN

Until next time, Lizzie.

Lizzie walks off with the books. Christian smiles, and begins to write in his book again. Then, the table begins to shake, and Christian goes from happy to confused. The shaking stopped, and Christian closes his eyes… not as if he knew he was okay. But as if he knew what was going to happen.

LEO (O.S.)

Look at you. You piece of shit. You really think you have a chance with her? She’ll swallow you up and spit you out like the others.

CHRISTIAN

Shut up.

LEO (O.S.)

Aww, are you hurt? Are you?

(chuckles)

Maybe if you would’ve just-

CHRISTIAN

(loudly)

Shut up!

LEO

(yells in Christian’s ear)

MAKE ME!

CUTS TO: Black.

Main Titles

Scene 02

Int. THE STUDIO - the next day

Cuts to:

TREY DRYER, a young rapper, was rapping his new song. He was going in, like if he has a purpose. And truth is, he does have a purpose: to be the best.

DANNY OMEGA, Trey’s best friend/music partner, was jammin as well. He was dancing to the beat, as well as rapping along to it. He was lit, as in half drunk.

Christian walks in the studio, realizing that the beat is fire. He begins to jam too.

CHRISTIAN

(to Danny)

New song?

DANNY

What you think? Fuckin’ asshole.

(continues to dance)

CHRISTIAN

Damn, that’s cold.

DANNY

Nah, this shit right here?

(yells at Trey)

IT’S FUCKIN’ FIRE!

Trey finishes. He comes out of the booth, and celebrates with Danny and Christian.

TREY

Yo, this is gonna be the biggest jawn I’ve ever done bro!

(shakes Danny’s hand)

Ahh, this is it, nigga!

CHRISTIAN

What is it called?

TREY

Bleach.

CHRISTIAN

Why the hell is it called Bleach?

DANNY

Because it is, you fuckin’ asshole.

TREY

Look bro. Once you hear the song, you’ll understand. But this shit right here, trust me- and I mean TRUST ME- it’s gonna be the best thing I’ve ever created.

CHRISTIAN

That’s dope bro.

(sits down)

TREY

What’s the matter with you?

DANNY

You look like you just found out you have herpes or something.

TREY

(confused)

What, nigga?

CHRISTIAN

What?

DANNY

What?

Everyone is silent.

TREY

Anyway, what’s up wit’ you?

CHRISTIAN

I got writer’s block man. And I’m almost done! Like I just need to find the perfect ending!

TREY

(looks at Danny)

Well… uh…

DANNY

(snaps his fingers at Christian)

Give your character a chance to get the toto!

TREY

(looks at Christian; smiles)

Aye!

CHRISTIAN

The main character already had sex.

TREY

Then why the fuck is the story still going?

DANNY

Dumbass.

CHRISTIAN

It’s not about sex man. It’s about-

DANNY

Look man. Just give the main character his biggest desire, and a happy ending.

TREY

Aye! Can’t go wrong with that!

CHRISTIAN

Hmm… a happy ending?

TREY

(nods to the door)

C’mon. Let’s get something to eat.

DANNY

Nah, I’m not really hungry… yet.

CHRISTIAN

What you mean yet?

Danny smiles.

-20 MINUTES LATER-

Trey was chilling… as Danny kept smiling. There was smoke in the air.

TREY

Ya know what I was just thinking about, bro?

DANNY

(chuckles)

What brodie?

TREY

If Zombies are called the undead… doesn’t that mean they alive, bro?

CHRISTIAN

(begins to laugh silently)

Broo, I was thinking about the same thing! Like right, we are alive, man. And- and Zombies are basically dead-

DANNY

Then why the fuck are they called the undead?

(eyes widen)

OHH SHIT!

TREY

(eyes widen)

Yo niggie, everytime I hit this, we become some fucking scientists, niggie.

CHRISTIAN

You know what has me thinking?

DANNY

What?

CHRISTIAN

Big Mouth.

(opens mouth wide; then closes it)

Yeah man! Ain’t that shit like child pornography?

(eyes widen)

HOLY SHIT I LIKE CHILD PORNOGRAPHY!?

TREY

Nah nigga. It’s an adult show man. It just has a lot of jokes that deals with puberty, dumbass. Oh shit, I got a joke.

(knocks on wood)

Knock knock.

DANNY

(looks in the distance)

Who’s there?

(snaps out of it)

Yeah man! Stop being a pussy. It’s like Family Guy… except it has more porn related shit.

TREY

(yells)

DICK!

Everybody jumps.

CHRISTIAN

What was that for?

TREY

(looks blankly)

What? That was the knock knock joke.

DANNY

Yo, I’m hungry ashit.

CHRISTIAN

(looks around)

So what’s the word?

Scene 03

Int. FOOD COURT

The three of them sit at a table and begins to chow down on some good food.

TREY

Look, all I’m saying is this:

(deep breath)

Margot Robbie is hotter than Marilyn Monroe.

CHRISTIAN

Get the fuck outta here.

DANNY

WHAT?!

TREY

Maybe it’s just me. I have a thing for crazy chicks man. You seen Suicide Squad right? How about Birds of Prey? She’s a damn Goddess!

DANNY

Yeah but we are talking about the hot blonde of ALL hot blondes, man. Are you insane? ARE YOU?!

CHRISTIAN

You obviously never seen her sing happy birthday to John F. Kennedy.

TREY

You obviously never seen Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

DANNY

(angry)

What?! She was barely in the movie!

TREY

Exactly! But her presence was fuckin’ dope.

CHRISTIAN

Yeah, right.

TREY

(drinks soda)

Okay. Now, what’s with you and California?

CHRISTIAN

California?

DANNY

(chuckles)

Oh yeah! Mrs. “Oh Imma wife her at the end of Senior Year!”

CHRISTIAN

Look, nothing happened between me and her. It’s just… I don’t know.

DANNY

Well, why don’t you just ask her?

CHRISTIAN

When I see her, I’ll ask her.

TREY

(nods in her direction)

Well, what are you waiting for?

They all turned around to see a young, beautiful woman at a table by herself. She was working on her laptop, wearing black glasses. Her skin glows as the sun shines through the window. Her name… CALIFORNIA JACKSON.

CHRISTIAN

(gulps)

Uh… I don’t know.

DANNY

Go talk to her, you bitch!

CHRISTIAN

Gee, thanks for the pep talk.

TREY

Coop, you’re not gonna go anywhere in life if you are a pussy.

DANNY

You are what you eat.

TREY

I eat Hamburgers though.

DANNY

Okay, you fuckin’ cow. Moo Bitch.

CHRISTIAN

Uh…

DANNY

Talk to her.

CHRISTIAN

I wouldn’t even know what to-

TREY

(loudly)

YO CALI!

Everybody turns to look at their table… including California. Danny and Trey put their heads down. Christian is looking at California. They lock eyes.

CHRISTIAN (V.O.)

Oh my God… this is it… this is it. Why am I talking to myself.

DANNY

HURRY UP, ALL THAT!

TREY

Wait what?

DANNY

(points to Trey)

You Slime.

(points at himself)

I’m Slat.

(points at Christian)

And he’s All That!

CHRISTIAN

I’m going in.

Christian begins to walk towards her. As he walks… Leo comes back.

LEO

Well, what are you doin’ now?

CHRISTIAN

I’m going to talk to her.

Suddenly, another alter ego came from out of nowhere. He was “THE LOVER”; very smooth, good-looking, and a slickback. His name was… RENALDO.

RENALDO

(walks next to Christian)

Okay. Que Te Pasa? What we dealing with?

(looks at California)

Dios mio…

CHRISTIAN

I know…

RENALDO

Mami Chula… making me… COMO SI DICE?

(snaps his fingers)

Dudo Pincho!

CHRISTIAN

Renaldo, take it easy.

RENALDO

(looks down)

Look down, pendejo.

CHRISTIAN

(looks down)

Ah shit.

RENALDO

Ouu, what you say?

(nods)

OKAY!

LEO

You are such a failure.

(shakes his head)

Disappointment.

(looks at Christian)

Fuckin’ asshole.

CHRISTIAN

Why is this such a long ass walk?

RENALDO

WHAT YOU SAY?

CHRISTIAN & LEO

Shut the fuck up.

RENALDO

Hey, take it easy.

He walks up to California.

CHRISTIAN

Hey.

CALIFORNIA

Hi.

CHRISTIAN

Um, I was wondering if maybe you would like to…

RENALDO

(in his ear)

… Have sex.

LEO

Must you really be a perv?

CHRISTIAN

… go on a date?

CALIFORNIA

Wow, like… a date date?

CHRISTIAN

Yeah.

CALIFORNIA

Sure. I’m-

BRUCE

(loudly)

-Not gonna be able to make it.

Christian turns around, and sees a tall, good-looking guy standing behind him. He dressed like he was the king of the world. He is known as “The GOLDEN BOY” BRUCE NEWMAN

CALIFORNIA

(scowls)

Bruce, what are you doing?

BRUCE

She’s busy.

CHRISTIAN

Why are you talking for her?

BRUCE

Because I can.

CHRISTIAN

(looks him up and down)

The fuck you think this is, Law & Order?

BRUCE

Nah, I think this is Cops. Because I’m finna beat that ass.

CHRISTIAN

Listen, Fonzie. Why don’t you go back to sucking the Coach’s dick and mind ya business?

LEO

That’s right… get angry.

BRUCE

Aww, look at Peasant Boy getting angry. What’s the matter? One of your stories didn’t get read again?

LEO

Rage…

BRUCE

Mommy didn’t give you the okay to grow up? She still has her tit in your mouth?

LEO

Cooper… what are you doing, man?

BRUCE

Is that why Daddy left?

LEO

(angry; yelling)

THAT’S IT! RAGE! RAGE! JUST GET FUCKIN FURIOUS!

Christain raise his fist, then Trey comes and grabs Christian.

TREY

Hey, sup guys. Christian, we need to talk to you.

BRUCE

Yeah, you do that.

TREY

Shut up, Bruce.

Scene 04a

Int. CALIFORNIA’S ROOM

California is in her room now, talking to her best friends- MAX, the sassy and brilliant young black woman, and LEANAH, the passive aggressive young ditz lady.

The room is very small, however, has a lot of space.

CALIFORNIA

Like he’s really getting on my nerves! He doesn’t wanna see me happy, and every time some good guy tries to talk to me, he scares them away.

MAX

Why? Didn’t y’all like break up two years ago?

LEANAH

He’s in love with her… aww.

MAX

Shut up Leanah.

CALIFORNIA

No, she’s right! But he’s too… full of himself.

MAX

Can you blame him? Dude has a dope ass book series out right now. Not to mention, he is the man of the boys.

CALIFORNIA

(scowls)

The man of the boys?

LEANAH

Yeah, it’s a weird nickname.

CALIFORNIA

Look, the last thing I want to worry about is some Edward Norton kind of guy trying to make me the love of his life. No honey. That’s not happening.

MAX

Preach mamas!

CALIFORNIA

I’m tired of these thirst men trying to get with a woman just for their body. Like what happen to us having substance? Having pride? Having morals? Like are we really just a flesh of meat to these animals?

MAX

Periodt, pooh!

CALIFORNIA

Like am I the only one who feels this way?

LEANAH

No.

MAX

NOT AT ALL! Lemme tell you, this guy I dated back in High School. His name was Robbie Hart.

CALIFORNIA

Which Robbie?

MAX

Hart, dumbass.

LEANAH

Ya know, there were two Robbie Harts in our school.

MAX

Oh yeah. Uh, the red headed one.

CALIFORNIA

Ohh, okay I got you.

MAX

Okay! So the main reason why he wanted to date me was because he wanted to get in these panties.

LEANAH

How could he?

MAX

Because he wanted to prove to “THE BOYS” that he was the best of what he does.

CALIFORNIA

And that was?

MAX

Manipulate… and penetrate.

LEANAH

Are you saying what I think you’re saying?

MAX

Men are animals. That’s straight up facts! And not to mention, when they use us for their needs, they toss us over to the fuckin’ side. Like really? And they get REWARDED for it! Like if we are some fuckin competition? Really?!

CALIFORNIA

Okay, Max. Calm down.

MAX

(deep breath)

It just makes me mad, ya know? We bare so much, and given so little.

LEANAH

Indeed, mama… indeed.

CALIFORNIA

(claps her hands)

Anyway! I think I should talk to Christian-

MAX

COOPER? No honey. If you wanna talk to someone, you have to talk to that Danny guy.

(smiles)

Ah, Danny…

LEANAH

(looks to the sky; back at California)

Uh, talk to Christian about what?

CALIFORNIA

I never gave him my answer for that date.

MAX

Look, if he really wants to go out with you, he’ll ask you out again. If not, fuck him.

(chuckles)

But Danny… damn.

LEANAH

As much as I want to disagree with this deviant… she’s right. Give him at least a week. If he hits you up, but does not mention the date-

CALIFORNIA

But he’s initiating the conversation. That would mean he is interested in me, right?

MAX

Or that means he’s gay.

LEANAH

Or just wanna be friends.

CALIFORNIA

(sighs)

I guess you’re right.

End of Part One